“Knights! The gift of freedom is yours by right. But the home we seek resides not in some distant land. It’s in us! And in our actions on this day! If this be our destiny, then so be it. But let history remember that as free men, we chose to make it so.” —King Arthur
King
I wake up to an empty bed and frown when I see Del lying on the floor with a blanket and pillow by the door. Did she sleepwalk? Was she angry? I search my brain for any sort of indication she was upset last night and come up with nothing.
I walk over, scoop her up into my arms and place her on the bed when I notice her clenching something in her hands.
Slowly, I unfold it and read it.
And I wish I hadn’t.
I wish so many things in that moment.
No matter what you love him the best you can, and you tell him when he’s being a little shit. This is your life now, but it can be beautiful; you just have to let it. I was going to make a toast at your wedding, one that was clever, funny, that made sense, but that look in your eyes, I’m not stupid. I know why you’re doing this. We all do. But I hope you can come to love the man at your side and remember everything he’s sacrificed in order to become who he is. Now you need to rise up into who you are as well. Be who you were born to be, that’s my wedding wish for you, and that’s my gift. Not a shiny house or new car or fancy vacation. My gift is that even if this was arranged from the beginning, you would have each other and realize the joy and purpose in having something to fight for and someone fighting at your side.
I fold it back up. I try not to cry, and I wonder if this is my dad’s last blessing to the Family. Had something happened, my mom would have woken me up, right?
Everything is so fucking confusing that I truly don’t know what to do. I have no clue where to look, at my cousins, at the whole point that someone wants to kill me and nearly did the same with my parents?
If I was reading this book, I’d probably toss it against the wall and be like, what else can go wrong? And who the hell’s going to help me fix this?
My stomach feels sick, my chest heavy, my heart not beating the way it’s supposed to; despite the guilt I have that it’s still beating when I have no idea if my dad is doing anything beyond just attempting to keep himself alive.
I hang my head in my hands, the folded paper falls to the floor.
“He loves you.” Del’s sleep-filled voice fills the air.
I don’t look up. “Is there a reason you slept by the door?”
“Of course,” she says. I expect her to say that Roman was closer, that everything’s done, that I don’t get a few more days or that she was sick of me even though we had one of the best nights I can remember in my entire existence. “A good queen guards her king. A good knight doesn’t just fall asleep on the job because they feel safe; they extend that safety to the person who needs the most protection.” Her hand presses against my shoulder. “You.”
I grip it. “Is that the real reason?” I want to believe her. God, do I want to believe her, but I don’t know anything anymore.
I’m lost.
I’m a ship at sea ready to be wrecked against the rocks screaming for help, and nobody can hear me.
Maybe because it feels like nobody is listening, and the only man I want to hear can’t.
He fucking can’t.
I start to hyperventilate for a minute, and then Del’s pulling me from the bed onto the floor. She lays my head in her lap, and she starts to sing.
It’s a song I remember my mom singing when I was little. “Swing low, sweet chariot, coming for to carry me home.” Her voice is beautiful; it’s perfectly pitched and easy to listen to. “Swing low sweet chariot coming for to carry me home.” Her voice catches. “I looked over Jordan and what did I see, coming for to carry me home.” A knock sounds at the door.
I don’t move.
The door opens.
And she keeps singing. “A band of angels coming after me, coming for to carry me home.”
Footsteps sound against the hardwood. I can tell it’s more than one person. I can feel the sadness in the air; I cling to her still.
I need her more than the next breath my lungs are attempting to breathe, more than the next beat of my heart. My hands instinctively go to her clothes and tug, I tug because I need something to hold on to, and she lets me. She holds me closer, pressing my head against her chest.
A tear falls down my cheek.
Hers, not mine. “Swing low, sweet chariot coming for to carry me home.” Her breath catches.
Someone sits next to her; someone else follows until I feel the air around me move.
“Swing low sweet chariot coming for to carry me home.” She almost can’t finish it. I can tell something is happening; I feel it in the wind in the room; I feel it in how each breath tastes.
“If you get there, before I do.” A new voice joins her. Serena, I think, maybe Izzy, and then it isn’t just them, it’s every one of my friends, my cousins sitting around us. “Coming for to carry me home.”
Tears stream down my cheeks as they continue. A hand presses against my back; it’s massive, so it has to be one of the guys.
I look up, and Maksim is hovering near me, both hands on my back rubbing, and he’s singing, tears in his eyes. “Tell all my friends I’m coming too,” he whispers. “Coming for to carry me home.”
Tears stream down my cheeks because I know the only reason every single one of the second generation would be in my bedroom in the morning and why it would be so quiet despite the singing.
Why she would have slept by the door despite her original reasons.
Protecting me until it was time.
Slowly, I rise to a sitting position and whisper, “Tell me.”
Junior can’t meet my eyes. Ash is holding onto Annie hard, his typically arrogant face pale.
Valerian and Tank are with their wives in the corner watching.
Serena’s on the floor, looking down.
But Maksim, my best friend and brother, Maksim is the closest; he grabs my hand and slowly pulls me to a standing position. “We’re not sure he’s going to make it.”
Pain like I’ve never known sweeps through me like a roaring fire, lighting up my blood in an attempt to singe my soul. I don’t know if I can breathe. I don’t know if I can do anything but stay in that position with Del behind me and Maksim in front, gripping my hand.
“Leave,” Del says in a harsh whisper. “Leave them.”
Nobody blinks; they simply get up and start walking out. Del is the last to go; she puts a hand on my shoulder and whispers. “I’ll be right outside.”
“Okay.” It’s all I can really get out.
The minute the door closes behind her in a soft click, Maksim is pulling me into his arms and holding me.
I lose everything.
I’ve lost everything.
I sob into his arms, and he holds me against his chest even though my tears don’t make anything better.
“Come on, Dad, I’m super strong, just like you!” I laughed and tossed the football into the air, then tackled him to the ground.
With a grunt, he shoved me off and glared. “Wanna fight fair?”
“Oh, please.” I laugh. “You’re an old man now.”
“Old man? Old man?” He looked ready to murder me; his eyes narrowed. “You’re only sixteen, you little shit, so come at me!”
I do.
Because I was sixteen and a little shit.
I ran full speed toward him, then tackled him to the ground, not realizing that he let me until he pinned me to the ground and pulled my arm around so I couldn’t reach him, his knee digging into my thigh. “Do you give?”
“Never!” I announced with a laugh.
He shoved me away. “Should I give you five seconds to make a run for it?”
“NO!” I yelled. “Last time, I nearly broke my arm!”
“You were fine; it was a flesh wound.” He ruffled my hair. “You’re getting too tall, too arrogant—”
“Too good looking?” I added in.
“Don’t push it.” He pulled me to my feet then shoved me, only to trip me. “Sorry, bad habit.”
“And I’m the little shit.”
“Language.” He pointed at me. “Just don’t tell your mom.”
“Our family.” We started walking. “And all our fun secrets.”
He suddenly grabbed my arm. “You have to accept that you will always be blanketed by them, but you’ll also be blanketed in love. If you learn nothing else, know that family is everything, blood is everything, no matter what happens.” He swallowed and then said, “Until it ends.”
“Come on.” I shoved him. “It won’t end. We have the great Tex Campisi as our leader, and he’s not afraid of shit.”
Dad looked away. He always made eye contact when we talked, so it was strange that he would look away. I remembered the moment I finally realized that he wasn’t invincible when he whispered, “Nobody lives forever.”
“You will,” I insisted. “Right?”
He put his arm around me and held me close as we walked toward the house. “I’ll try, son, I promise you one thing, I’ll try with everything I have—to live, for you, for Mom, for these Families. I’ll try to live.”
I nodded and, for some weird reason, added, “Until it ends.”
He stopped, turned me toward him, and repeated, “Until it ends.”
“How long?” I ask Maksim.
He hasn’t stopped holding me, his grip tight. “Nikolai is on the jet right now. We just need a miracle. We need him to wake up.”
I pull away. “Then we need to give him something to wake up to. To be proud of.”
Maksim stands and helps me to my feet. “What did you have in mind, brother?”
“I’m going to find out who tried to kill him—who wants to kill me—and I’m going to end everything. Rules state he’s no longer the Capo. I’m not going to be a stand-in. I’m officially taking over.”
Maksim’s eyes widen. “He’s still alive though—”
“It’s what Dad would want.” I lift my chin. “So, make the preparations. Tonight, I become the official leader of the Families.”
“But—”
“Tell Ash, tell everyone,” I say. “They have one choice, and I need every single part of the Campisi power to understand what’s been going on. Make an announcement, you’re either with me or against me. Make the ceremony tonight.”
Maksim nods slowly. “Okay. Okay.”
He doesn’t move though.
I wait for him to argue, but he simply walks toward me and pulls me against his chest. “I’m proud of you.”
“You trying to make me cry again, you bitch?”
He shoves me away. “And there he is. I was worried for a minute.”
I laugh and slap him on the back. “I’m always here; I just needed a reminder of why and what I’m fighting for.”
“Him,” Maksim says. “And our future.”
“Nobody ever said ruling was easy,” I say under my breath.
“It’s why he chose you,” Maksim says. “Never forget that.”
He opens the door.
Del, as promised, is sitting in front of it and nearly falls onto our feet, she looks exhausted, so I help her up and tilt her chin toward me while Maksim walks away.
Her eyes have dark circles under them, and while I can’t see Roman, I know he’s close.
“You have a choice,” I whisper.
“Okay.”
Footsteps sound, and then I feel him standing next to me, guarding us like he’s always supposed to be.
Doing his job.
“I’ll send you away,” I start. “I’ll send you off with him, with Roman if that’s what you want. I’ll send you away. You’ll always have the support of the Families. You’ll always have us, but you can’t ever come back.”
A tear slides down her cheek. “Why are you saying this?”
“Because I’m about to go down a road I can’t come back from, and that means you either have to walk with me or I go at it alone. Nobody gave me a choice in this, of what I was born into. I’m giving you what I never had. You have until the end of the night to choose.” I kiss the top of her forehead and walk away, feeling like my heart’s breaking all over again as I leave her in the hallway with my enemy, my brother, my friend.