“Your mum and dad met at university. They started to go out and after a very short time they decided to get married. They were very young”. She took a deep breath and continued, “Granny and granpy liked him very much and even though they thought it was all a bit quick, they gave their consent and as soon as they had left university they got married. Simon was supposed to marry a friend of his family. His parents were furious, and did not give their blessing to the marriage and that created a very bad atmosphere between them all. But, nevertheless, it was a lovely wedding, a very happy day. They went on honeymoon and returned to their little house in Tarlton to be near Simon’s parents and granny and granpy. Simon’s parents didn’t make the situation very easy. They continued to make your mum’s life very difficult. They made no attempts to get on with her.”
“Poor mum, it must have been very difficult for her. What happened then?” I asked eager for the story to continue.
“Hang on, I’m getting there.”
“The next thing was really very exciting because your mum and dad found out they were going to have a baby. Everyone was excited of course except Simon’s parents. They continued to feel that he was far too young to be a father. He hadn’t got his career established yet. But new babies in families are always very exciting; then they discovered they were going to have twins.”
“They were having twins,” I repeated. I felt my jaw drop down. My hands felt all sweaty and my throat became dry.
“They were having twins,” Aunty M repeated, “Our family was ecstatic. Not one baby but two, what could be better?”
I tried to say something but I couldn’t seem to say anything the words wouldn’t come out. The curtain shook violently behind Aunty M. Roma and I now knew who our father was and I now knew that the man that I called dad was not my dad or Roma’s dad after all. I felt the colour drain from my face.
“Are you alright dear? You’ve gone rather pale.”
“I’m fine, Aunty M,” I said. But I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“Simon became very concerned with his parents behaviour and decided he could not let the situation continue. What was worrying him more was that your mum was getting very upset and this was not good for her or the two babies.”
“So one night after he finished at his lawyer’s practice,” continued Aunty M, “he didn’t go home but went shopping. He bought two huge teddies for the new babies and drove straight to his parent’s house. He wanted to try to make them see sense. He even took the teddies inside with him probably to make them realise there was nothing he could do he was in love with your mum and there were two new little babies coming into the family.”
“What happened? Bet they realised they were being stupid,” I couldn’t believe this story as it was unfolding, but the worse was to come.
“There was a terrible argument. They wouldn’t listen or even try to understand so Simon stormed out of the house. The police found his crashed car in the woods. He had skidded off the wet road and hit a tree. He died instantly they said, all alone.”
“What happened to mum?” I asked horrified.
“She was frantic when he did not come home from work. She had phoned his office and got no answer. She phoned granpy and he went around to their house and he decided that the police would have to be called.”
“They found the teddies in the front seat. Simon had even put the seat belt around them. He was on the road just down the road from his parent’s house. It was a tragic accident.”
“So Simon died before the babies were born. They never knew their dad. He never saw his own babies. This is the saddest story I have ever heard,” I felt the tears trickle down my face and I had to blow my nose.
“Your mum was too ill to go to the funeral. It was probably for the best as it had been Simon’s parents who were to blame in some ways for the accident.”
“If he hadn’t gone to try to talk to them, it never would have happened, would it?”
“We’ll never know Florence. But if he hadn’t gone that night he could still be alive.”
“When were the twins born?”
“Two little girls were born on the 24th March.”
“That’s the same date as my birthday.”
“Yes Florence. Simon was your father. You look very similar to him you know. He was dark, you get the red hair from our side of the family, but you have his eyes and the gap between your front teeth just like him. Do you know too, you are so like him in so many ways? Very kind, quiet and gentle. You are a real credit to him you know.”
“But I have a twin sister too. What happened to her?” I knew of course but I had to protect Roma and Roma didn’t know the entire story either.
“She became ill when you were just six months old and died in hospital. She was not a strong little baby like you. Mum blamed all the upset over Simon’s death. Your mum was very poorly before you were born.”
“Where is my twin sister buried?”
“She’s buried in the churchyard here in Tarlton in Saint Luke’s Church. Would you like to visit it?”
“Yes I would. Can we go first thing in the morning?”
“Sure and we’ll take some flowers too. I haven’t been since you came down.”
“Do you go there often?”
“Yes I do, every week. I always take her some flowers.”
“Aunty M?”
“Yes dear.”
“I just realised. I have a dad who isn’t my dad. I have grandparents who aren’t really my grandparents and I have grandparents that I have never met. How spooky is that?”
“Good and spooky Florence. Good and spooky.”
“Aunty M, I just can’t believe what has happened to my dad, my sister and my mum.” I could feel the back of my throat start to choke and the tears pouring down my face, “I just can’t believe mum and dad never said anything to me. Why didn’t they?”
“Florence, you know what grown ups are like with their secrets. We all have secrets and sometimes we can’t find it in us to share them. Sometimes even adults find telling the truth hard, particularly if they’ve done something silly. I don’t think any of us wanted you to be upset and hurt by what happened. I was worried about telling you and to be honest, I think I may have said too much. Granny will probably disown me and as for your mum, she’ll never forgive me. The family thought you might never find out and that it would all be for the best. Trust it to be me that ends up being the one that tells you. If only I could turn back the clock. If only things had been different. Florence, will you ever be able to forgive me?”
“What do you mean? You’ve done nothing, Aunty M.”
Then to my horror, I saw tears streaming down Aunty M’s face. She pulled out a huge red and white spotty hankie from the pocket of her floral tent dress and blew her nose. I once heard granny say that when Aunty M blew her nose it sounded like the Queen Mary ship sounding her horn leaving for a voyage and I now knew what she meant. But now was not a time to laugh. Aunty M got up and quietly walked out of the room.
I sat for a while trying to make sense of what I had heard. I was surprised that she got so upset when she was not really that involved. The door slammed shut and I guessed that Roma had left the room too. Could ghosts cry? I didn’t know. But I knew then and there that I had to get in touch with my real grandparents. I wanted to get to know them; they were part of me. They could be a way of connecting with my real father. And I had to do it soon.