I went up to bed. As I lay there I thought about all that had happened. I thought back to the wedding photos of my mum and Simon. He had looked so familiar and yet I didn’t know him. I looked a little bit like him. What I couldn’t get out of my head was I had grandparents that I did not know I had until today. I hadn’t thought of that before. There were people in my family that I didn’t even know about - new people that in a funny sort of way could bring my dad, my real dad, closer to me. I felt so sad, so full of odd feelings. How could I miss someone I had never known? And yet I did, I really did. I couldn’t bear the feelings any longer, so I climbed the steps to the attic. I needed to look back at the photo album and see if I could get any clues as to my father’s family name.
I clutched the album and turned the pages until I came to the wedding pictures. There was Simon, my dad. Now I could see what Aunty M meant because he was handsome.
I turned the page and there was the photo of mum, Simon, granny and granpy. On the other side of Mum were two people. They must be Simon’s parents. I stared at them. They looked normal and nice. They looked just like any grandparents would look. I wondered what they knew about me. Did they know anything about me? Anything at all?
Wonder what they’re like? Why haven’t they tried to meet me? They must be awful because of what they did to mum and Simon yet they didn’t look bad or evil or anything. I was so interested in them. Under the photo someone had written,”Rosamund and Alistair Rhodes, June and Henry Masters.”
So my grandparents name was Rhodes, not a very common name. I knew they must live locally because Aunty M said they did. How could I find out? The phone book. I could look in the phone book. Simple. I just hoped they were not ex-directory.
I closed my eyes and as I opened them there was Roma standing in front of me. She looked paler than I had ever seen her. I could see the bookcase behind her. She was smiling.
“Going to my grave tomorrow then?”
“Yes. So you heard the story. Dad died before we were born.”
“Yes, I can’t believe it. That explains why mum was on her own when I became poorly that night. She was coping all alone with the two of us. That’s why I was left at the hospital. Granny and granpy must have been away. I wonder where Aunty M was.”
“I wonder if that’s why mum is sort of like she is. She’s just never got over Simon and you dying and she sort of blames me because I lived and you both didn’t. Then she married Philip, dad, but she never got over what happened because I remind her all the time,” I said realising that I was probably right.
“She can’t be that silly. It wasn’t your fault,” said Roma reassuringly.
“No it was nobody’s fault. But she gets so cross with me all the time I just feel I must be to blame for some of it. It must have been hard for mum.”
“Yes and hard for you. Our dad is not our dad either. What are you going to say to him?” asked Roma with a shrug.
“I’m not going to say anything to anyone. I’m certainly not going to ask mum, she’ll be furious I’ve asked Aunty M about her and what happened and I’ve been snooping around. I’ve done everything she told me not to do. She’ll never speak to me again.”
“Course she will.”
“You don’t know our mum. She’s pretty fierce. I’m terrified of her and I don’t want to make matters worse.”
“What about Aunty M?”
“I don’t think she’ll say anything unless I ask her to. I’ve spent eleven years not knowing, so the secret can stay for a while longer until I can pluck up the courage to tell mum I know when I’m about forty five.”
“Forty five!?” giggled Roma.
“Yeah, it will take me that long at least.”
“I’m going to find out the address of our real grandparents, Roma.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind doing this for me. They’ve never made any attempts at trying to find you or see you. They might be rude and upset you. They might refuse to see you. You may cause a lot of trouble, Flo,” said Roma with feeling.
“I know but I can’t not find them now. I want to try to get to know our real dad. I think it’s just something I need to do. If you need help to ‘rest in peace’, we need to get everyone back together again and try to what’s that saying; ‘bury the bucket’?”
“That doesn’t sound right Flo, but anyway I think you’re right, we need to get everyone together so we can all say ‘sorry’ and forget what’s happened.”
“Yes, I want to meet them really badly. I just can’t imagine what they are like. It’s exciting really to meet new people in your family that you never knew about. Like you really. I have a sister that I knew nothing about. I just wish you didn’t have to go away. Why do you have to ‘rest in peace’? Why can’t we just carry on like this?” I asked, thinking it was all so simple.
“I have to go. They are calling me and telling me to hurry.”
“Who are ‘they’?” I asked puzzled.
“They are our ancestors. It is their job to protect us once we die. I have to go, otherwise I will be lost forever nowhere and I’ve been told that is the worse thing that can happen to any spirit or ghost. I need to get there because I don’t want to end up ‘nowhere.’ I want to be with them. Have you noticed I seem to be getting paler?”
I realised that this must be the sign that she was losing her chance to ‘rest in peace.’ I would have to work quickly. I would have to do whatever I could for her. I was the lucky one. I had lived.
Roma disappeared and I went back down to bed. I couldn’t sleep at first as my head was buzzing with everything. First thing tomorrow, I would get the phone book, find their address and phone number and write to my new grandparents. I wouldn’t tell Aunty M and I would face whatever happened. I had to get the family back together for Roma. And with that thought, I relaxed and let sleep take me through night’s journey.