I could not believe my ears. I stared at Aunty M. I looked at my mum and Philip. I glared at granny and granpy. I looked across at my father’s parents. There was silence. No-one said a word. You could cut the air with a knife. I didn’t know what to do. I had been betrayed by everyone now. They all knew. They all knew about Simon, Roma and my real mum. Everyone knew everything and I had known nothing. Nothing at all. How could they all treat me like this? I would never, ever forgive any of them. They had kept secrets from me. They lied to me. If you love someone, they should never treat you in this way. I was even betrayed by Aunty M.
I wanted to run. I ran towards the door and shoved it open. I fled to the back door and ran across the lawn towards the cliff. Biggles, realising that a walk was on offer, ran out with me and together, we headed for the beach. I followed him down the steps to the sand and ran behind him. The salty sea air wisped round me and tears poured out of my eyes and my nose dripped.
I didn’t care how I looked. I didn’t care who saw me. I just had to get away from the lies and the secrets and the fact that I was unloved and unwanted. My father had died and I never got the chance to know him. Without realising it before, I was missing him. If only I had had the chance to talk to him just once. I ran out of breath and had to slow down. Yes, I thought as I dragged one foot after the other along the sand that is why mum disliked me so much. That was why she didn’t want me. That was why I was nothing but a nuisance to her. The reasons for her behaviour towards me were; I wasn’t hers.
But how had I ended up being brought up by her? She obviously didn’t want me, did she? That had always been obvious to me even when I was really little. I could never remember her cuddling me or hugging me ever. I could never remember her saying how well I had done in my tests at school or my ballet exams. She had always just said, “And what did so-and-so get?” and if it was better than me, she smirked and walked off. So why did Aunty M give me away? Omigod, omigod, the thought suddenly struck me. I needed to know.
Aunty M had given me away to her sister.
But why?