We weren’t freezing with all our juices in us. We were freeze-drying, freeze-squeezing. The lake was squeezing all the life out of us. I melted more water with my hands, but it only gave her a slurp or two. My hands were big toothaches, throbbing.

Hobbes: My paws hurt. I’m thirsty.

When you are in the middle of a flat, frozen lake, Bill, it looks like you are in the exact center of a perfect circle. Which is awesome in a way because it’s like the world really does revolve around you, like you’re at the center of all meaning. But then it gets kind of freaky, because no matter how long and hard you move, you can’t get out of the middle of that circle. No matter where you are, you’re at the epicenter of the known universe, and it follows you wherever you go, even if it’s the stupidest universe you could come up with.

Hobbes: I’m hungry. My paws hurt.

The sun was getting lower on the horizon again. My legs were setting, too. Soon it would be night and that would be it for my legs. Susie took slow, shuffling steps. I was colder again.

Suddenly she stopped and shrieked.

Susie: Calvin! Lights!

I almost tripped over my dead feet.

Maybe they were stars …

But no, they were lights, distant and tiny, but lights for sure.

Susie: Land! We made it! I thought we were going to die.

I knew things looked a lot closer than they really were on the lake, but I didn’t say anything.

Susie: Oh.

Me: Oh?

She whimpered.

Susie: I think I peed my snow pants.

Me: Okay. It’s okay, Susie.

Susie: I didn’t mean to.

Me: Yeah, it would be different if you meant to.

Susie: It was warm for a minute.

Hobbes: Can we not go into the details?

Susie: But now it’s cold.

And then, Bill, she started shivering.

She was shivering, and every Boy Scout there ever was knew that was bad.

You couldn’t escape the reality of shivering.

And right then, Bill, Hobbes walked into my full view—a massive eight-foot tiger with a head the size of a basketball and paws the size of cereal bowls and all his muscles rumbling and popping under his fur. I could see every bit of him now, orange against the white ice and snow and a black Rorschach test on his head. He was as real as Susie, or maybe Susie was as real as him, or maybe nothing was real including me, and I turned slowly around in a circle and came back to Hobbes and Susie, who had sat down.

Me: No, Susie, you can’t sit down.

Susie: I’m sleepy.

Me: No. No sleep.

Susie (so softly I could barely hear her): Is this what it feels like to lose your mind, Calvin? Like your brain is filled with a hundred thoughts at once and none of them go together and you don’t know if what you’re seeing and hearing is for sure? Is that what it’s like?

Me: Yeah, Susie. A lot like that. Come on.

I pulled her to her feet, but her knees started bending.

Susie: I’m sorry, Calvin, I can’t.

Me: I’ll carry you.

Susie: No. I have to walk.

Me: Yeah. You do. Come on.

Susie: In a minute.

She folded down.

Hobbes: Make her mad.

Me: Go away.

Hobbes: Make her chase you.

Me: I—

I stopped.

I bent down and picked up a handful of snow and chucked it at her.

Hobbes: That’s it!

Thwap!

Susie: Calvin!

She tried to scream it, but only this shrill pathetic sound came out.

I hit her with another one.

Thwap!

Hobbes: That’ll get her up!

Susie: Calvin, what are you doing? Stop it, you freak!

She had put consonants on the ends of all her words.

Me: Snowball fight! Snowball fight! Whoever wins gets to be the boss.

Susie: You do that again, and I’ll—

Me: You’ll what? You’ll what?

I chucked another snowball. Thwap!

She stood up like an old woman and picked up some snow and slowly formed it into a snowball.

Susie: This!

I tried to dance around a bit, but I was so stiff I moved like a robot.

Susie: This is for bringing me on this stupid frozen lake—

I dodged and the snowball sailed past me. She bent down again.

Her pitch came faster this time and it caught my leg.

Thwap! I got her again.

Me: You’ll have to chase me!

She made a huge snowball.

I plodded in the direction of the lights. She started to stumble after me. She waddled like a baby in a big swollen diaper. We both half screamed and half laughed this dry wheezy laugh, and then I slipped and fell on my backside and she threw the snowball right in my face and said I’m going to pummel you, you jerk, and she swung her arms at me for a while and I held her off at arm’s length and then she stopped and breathed hard a minute and finally she said let’s go.

*   *   *

I thought we could do it, Bill. Maybe the lights weren’t all that far away.

It turns out they were.