I sip on my coffee and drag my finger along the mouse pad of my laptop to wake it up. Jack is finishing up his bagel, then going to get started on the windows.
He gathers up the trash, bunching it all into a ball and looking around. I hold out my hand to take it from him and toss it into the trash behind me. “You said you helped Melinda with her website?” I ask, finally giving up with this stupid thing.
“I did.”
I put on a sweet smile. “Any chance you’d take a look at this for me? I can pay you.”
He rolls his eyes and moves around the other side of the desk, standing so close to me I can feel the heat of his body. I’m filled with a sudden feeling of loneliness, and I don’t like it. It hasn’t been easy being alone since Chloe left. It was an instant adjustment I had to make. Sleeping alone took the longest to get used to, and I’m finally in a place where it doesn’t affect my sleep anymore. But for some reason, being so close to him brings back all sorts of feelings.
“I don’t want your money. What’s the problem?” He leans forward, moving the mouse pointer with his fingers on the mouse pad.
“I can’t get the scheduler to send me an email when someone books.”
“That’s all?” He looks up at me with a smirk.
“Yep, that’s all.”
He shakes his head and brings his attention back to the computer. He clicks a few things, opens some things up, then finds my email address. “This one?” I squint and lean forward to see the screen better.
“That’s it.”
He copies it, then opens a few more things, pastes it, saves it, and says, “Done,” looking up at me with a grin. “Your email was missing from the contact info. This website host is decent, but they don’t always make things easy. Do you mind if I look through some things?”
“Be my guest.” I gesture towards the computer, and he pulls up the website.
“Can I make a few suggestions?”
“Please,” I say cautiously. I’d thought I did a good job with it.
“I like the overall layout you have here. These are great photos to showcase to pull people in, but I think you need a softer color theme. It’ll make it look cleaner, more professional. If you want some color, I’d suggest a very light blue or sepia tone, but that’s about it.”
A nervous chuckle escapes my throat and I scratch the back of my neck. “Yeah, I couldn’t exactly figure that out.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you ran into me today.” He bumps me with his shoulder and I find myself wanting to get even closer to him.
Jack works his magic, clicking on certain drop-down menus and the colors change instantly, and I whistle. “You made that look pretty simple.”
He shrugs and turns around, placing his elbows on the counter and leaning back. I have an overwhelming urge to lean over him and kiss him. Which is shocking to me. Instead, I suck in a deep breath and move around the counter, needing to put some space between us, because it’s getting pretty hot in here and I’m about to do something stupid.
“H-how long do you think it’ll take to paint the window?” I shove my hands into my back pockets, trying to look relaxed, even though I feel anything but.
He comes around to stand beside me, crossing his arms as he looks over the large window. That scent of him overtakes me again and I feel like I can’t breathe. Like I can’t control myself. I want to act on things I’ve barely ever thought about before. Things I had to force myself not to think of. Why is he making me feel like this?
“For what I’m thinking? Couple days.”
My eyebrows shoot into my hairline. “Does it normally take that long?”
“Roughly, yeah. I like to be thorough.” He shoulder bumps me again and I try to ignore it, but stiffen up.
“I can’t let you do this for nothing. Let me pay you.”
“I don’t charge for my window paintings.”
A smile slowly crosses my lips. “So you just let me think I was special when you do this for everyone?” He winks at me before heading towards the door, unlocking and opening it. “I’m going to get my paints. I should be able to finish up the outline today, depending on how long you’ll be here for?”
I pull my phone from my pocket and look at it. It’s already almost one. “I have to leave in about two hours to get my kids.”
“So half the outline today then, maybe more.” He says it more to himself, then nods before leaving. I watch as he walks by, disappearing out of view. I let out a long breath and head to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. Looking at myself in the mirror, I wonder what the hell I’m supposed to do about this situation.
I head back to the front just as Jack is returning. He comes inside and places all of his stuff down by the windows. “I’m going to run down the street to the hardware store for some paint. I need to paint all these walls before the equipment comes in,” I tell him.
“Do you need help?” I’m not sure if he means right this second or painting the walls…
“No. I, uh… I’m good. But thanks.”
“No problem.” His tone is different, sounding a little disappointed and a little more reserved than he was before he left. I’m probably coming across like a weirdo or rude or something, but I’m a nervous wreck and don’t know how to act around him.
“What’s the bear’s name?” he asks as I push open the door to leave.
“Huh?” I turn back to look at him and find a half smile on his face. He points to Delilah’s stuffed animal.
“If you want me to babysit, I should probably know the little guy’s name.”
I huff out a laugh and shake my head. “Mr. Fluffers.”
He shoots me a thumbs up and I leave without another word, walking half a block to the hardware store.
Once inside, I’m greeted by a short, old woman who’s sitting behind the register, knitting.
“Afternoon,” she calls out without looking up.
“Afternoon,” I respond.
The shop is small and cluttered, but seemingly well-organized. There are signs hanging on thin chains from the ceiling, pointing out the different sections. The paint is right in front.
I look for the premixed stuff but don’t see any colors I want. I need a soft white for the back and a steelish-gray for the front showroom. All I can find that’s already mixed is a candy-apple red, a canary yellow, and six gallons of what looks like a vomit green. With a shake of my head, I go to the wall that has swatches and find what I need, then bring them to the front.
“How can I help you, young man?” the woman asks, looking up at me from over her glasses, still knitting, even though she’s no longer watching what she’s doing.
“I need some paint mixed. This one and this one.” I point to them as I hand them over.
“Certainly.” She gets off of her stool stiffly and moves towards the paint area with a slight hunch. She scans the colors into the machine, then asks, “How much do you need of each?”
“Two gallons of the gray, and four of the white.”
She nods and turns back to the machine, pressing a few buttons on the screen. “Finish?”
“Satin for both, please.”
She leans down and pulls out the base paint from the bottom shelf, lining them up beside the machine. The gentleman in me wants to go over there and help her, but I have a feeling she’d swat me away and those little slaps would probably hurt. She turns to me again, that grumpy look only tired old ladies can give on her face. “It’ll take a bit, if you want to come back.”
“Sure, I’m only a few shops down. I can—”
“Which place?”
“Oh, it’s going to be a photography studio, I think it used to be a—”
“Book store.”
“That’s the one.”
She waves me off with one hand while she pulls off her glasses with the other, moving closer to the computer and pressing some more buttons. “I’ll have Edgar bring them over when they’re done.”
“Okay. Do you at least want me to p—”
“Pay Edgar later.” She sounds as if she’s fed up with me being here, so I decide it’s better to just go.
“Uh… yeah, okay,” I mumble under my breath and move towards the door. “Thanks!” I call out, my head spinning as I walk back to the studio. I was gone for maybe ten minutes, and my window already looks amazing, even with just a simple outline.
“This looks great,” I tell him as I step inside.
“It’s barely anything now. You just wait. Your bear was well-behaved, by the way.”
“Good to know. I’ll relay that to his mother. She’ll be proud.”
I stand there for a moment longer, following the lines on the window and trying to envision what it’ll look like when it’s done.
“Are you gay?”
I sputter before turning to face him with a grimace, my cheeks once again heating. “What?” I finally get it out.
“I’m sorry.” He holds up his hands, waving me off. “Forget I said anything. My mistake.”
“No, I—” I let out a frustrated breath. “It’s… complicated.”
“How? You either are or you aren’t,” he says sternly, hands on his hips, a look of bewilderment on his face.
“Actually, I do believe there are many things in between that.”
He rolls his eyes again, and I’m pretty sure he and Zachary could have an eye roll battle and I wouldn’t know who to choose as the winner. “I’m pretty sure you know what I mean. You either like men, or you don’t.”
I run a hand through my hair, meeting his gaze. He doesn’t at all look angry or upset, he looks almost… apologetic. Pleading? “I… It’s complicated.”
He rolls his lips between his teeth and nods. “Well, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable in anyway. I meant no harm.”
“You didn’t,” I say quickly, taking a step towards him. “Well, you did, but not because of you. Because of me.” I close the distance between us and lean down a bit to catch his attention. When he turns his gaze on me, I stand straight again. “It has nothing to do with you. At all. In fact, I’m attracted to you. You’re funny, nice, handsome…” A smile starts to grow and his cheeks tinge the lightest shade of pink. “It really is just complicated. I have a lot going on in my life right now. I—”
My words are cut off with a swift kiss. I take a step back, my mouth agape. Jack stands in his spot, a shit-eating grin on his face. “W-why did you do that?”
He shrugs. “It just felt right. You were rambling and I just thought it was the right thing to do.”
My mind is reeling.
“That was… I’ve… Wow.” I run both hands through my hair, tugging on it just a bit.
“Wait, wait, wait…” Jack says, waving his hands. “When you said you were attracted to me, I took that as you admitting you like guys.”
“I do!” I shout, but not angrily, more out of shock over what happened. “I just… I’ve never…”
Realization crosses his face and his hand moves to cover his mouth. “You’ve never kissed a guy before?” His words are slightly mumbled from behind his hand.
I swallow hard and shake my head slowly.
“Oh my god. Anderson, I am so, so sorry.” He starts to gather his things together, and I move to his side quickly, placing my hand on his shoulder.
“You don’t have to go. It’s fine. I promise it’s not that big of a deal.”
“It is though.” He stands up, looking me right in the eye. “I thought I was being cute and funny and flirty, and I crossed a line.”
“You didn’t,” I assure him. “I was just surprised. I wasn’t expecting my first kiss with a guy to be so… I don’t know. Quick?”
“Quick?” he asks as if he doesn’t believe me. Like what I said is complete bullshit.
“Yeah? I guess. I don’t know. It just startled me.” He opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off. “Let’s just start over, okay?”
He closes his mouth, pursing his lips for a second before nodding. “Fine. But you’ll have to wipe the bear’s memory or this will never work.”
I glance at Mr. Fluffers. “I think I can make that happen.”