Persy is no longer Persy. But she is also no longer Stephanie Perreault.
He only met Stephanie Perreault once, and there was much blinking on his part to ensure she wasn’t an illusion. Some kind of swamp siren messing with his head. He was twenty-one back then, and she was on the verge of turning sixteen. Too young for him. But that hadn’t stopped him from imprinting on her in an instant.
She was his. Age was only a matter of years—five and a handful of days, to be exact. That was how long he decided to gift her before he would establish his claim. Five years to grow, to attend her rich-folks university, to experience a life that didn’t include him.
But five years was all he would give her. She would become his after that. That was true when she was Stephanie. And it became especially true when her father offered his only daughter as payment for the blood debt he owed Hades.
That was when Stephanie had become Persy.
Stephanie Perreault was his dream. Persy was his blood debt.
But Stephanie Fairgood is something else altogether—something much more unsettling.
The very personification of what they could’ve been.
Before all the bitterness and rage. Before all the punishments he inflicted upon Persy in the name of avenging his mother. Before all the things he did.
Things that couldn’t be undone.
Until suddenly they were.
By some miracle, she forgot everything—every terrible thing that had passed between them.
On the inside, he continues to think of the woman now sharing his life as Persy.
But in truth, Stephanie Fairgood is a blank slate. Stephanie Fairgood remembers nothing of him beyond the few moments they shared in the backyard of her father’s plantation house.
If somebody were to ask Stephanie Fairgood if she still hated Hades, she would answer, “Hades? Who’s Hades?”
The answer to that question is, “The man who would sacrifice anything to undo the pain of your accident.”
Yet, he also can’t believe his luck when her memory loss leads to her choosing him.
It reminds him of their time at his bayou stilt house. When she told him that she hated him and she’d fallen for him—that both were true.
He would do anything to spare her the accident.
He would also do anything to erase all the dark parts of their past relationship from her mind.
Both are true.
And having a chance to be with her the way he wanted to from the start—before he did all the things that couldn’t be undone, that…
Well, that seems too good to be true.
Hades spends the first couple of months after she moves into the Carnation Estates mansion simply making all her dreams come true—even the ones she doesn’t remember she had.
The house, the car, the craft room, the job, and all the money donated to her older sister’s shelter—it’s nothing less than what she deserves. He’s making things right.
At least that’s what he tells himself to justify what he’s doing.
But Hades knows….
It doesn’t matter that he’s officially stepped down from the motorcycle gang he cofounded and attached his real name to a legitimate multi-million-dollar real estate acquisition and construction business. The darker part of him knows what this is really about. What it’s always been about with every version of Stephanie Perreault…
Keeping her.
For the first few months, he wakes every morning with the knowledge that this might be the day she recovers her memories. He’s constructed a bubble for them here in Ohio. One where everyone knows him as a mysterious real estate mogul and nobody is aware of his ruthless alter ego. But there isn’t a construction material strong enough to make a bubble completely safe. If there was, he would’ve paid any price to acquire it.
Also, the story about his cousin Woods is true. Hades is deeply aware that one download of memory on Persy’s part is all it would take to pop the dream bubble he’s blown up around their current reality as husband and wife—the reality that only exists here in Ohio on top of a pile of doctored paperwork.
As happy as he is living outside of Columbus with Persy, he can’t count on that happiness lasting forever. Unfriendly reminders of the ephemeral nature of their happiness pop up on the rare occasion he has to turn down one of her requests.
Once, while walking around their rapidly filling up neighborhood, she suggests getting a dog from the Minnesota-based rescue of some woman Tess met at a conference for Black women in nonprofits.
“I wouldn’t mind a dog at all, ma belle. Always wanted one growing up, but my Nanan Cherise claimed to be allergic. But that’s a permanent change, and you know, we should…”
She rolls her eyes before he can finish. “I know, I know, wait for me to get my memories back.”
Putting her off inviting his sister, Ellie, up for Christmas is even harder.
“I know Ohio doesn’t have anything on New Orleans when it comes to Joyeux Noël,” she concedes after he tells her Ellie already has plans.
More lies.
Ellie is currently living in the Midwest herself, but she took him quitting the Reapers hard. He checks in on her occasionally, but their calls are always strained. Christmas with her would be a catastrophe. He knows his hotheaded sister would never play along.
How ironic they both have sisters who don’t approve of their relationship.
But of course, this is one of the many things he can’t share with Persy.
“Maybe next year,” he says noncommittally. At the same time, he thinks, One day, she’ll remember what happened between us, and that will destroy us.
However, until that inevitable day, he wants to…well, trap her isn’t quite the right word.
But does he hope to set up a life so appealing to her that she’ll maybe, just maybe, think twice about leaving him when she remembers the truth of what their relationship was prior to their time in Ohio?
Yes, he wants to fix the past and make up for everything he did to her. But the motorcycle gang leader still lurking inside of him know he’s also doing whatever it takes. Whatever it takes to keep her beyond the very short window of memory loss he has with her.
Except, that window isn’t as short as Hades expects. Woods’s memories came back in a matter of weeks. But over half a year passes while Hades focuses on building a life that Persy won’t want to leave behind once she gets back her own memories.
And shortly after her birthday comes her request to share his bed.
How innocent and trusting she looks, gazing up at him. Baring her neck to her husband without any idea of the beast salivating inside of him.
She doesn’t know, he tells himself.
She doesn’t know about the hell of the nightmares he suffered after his mother’s death.
She doesn’t know those nightmares only came to an end because she made him the same offer to share his bed back when he called her Persy out loud.
She has no idea how he suffered during their time apart. That he still suffers. That he put an office and an over-the-top craft room between their bedrooms so she won’t hear how he occasionally still suffers without his Persy sleeping by his side.
She stands outside his bedroom doors with no idea that having her back in his bed is the thing he’s been yearning for ever since she left him.
He has no business saying yes to her request.
He can’t say anything but yes to her request.
Both are true.
Stephanie Fairgood is the one standing in front of him, but Persy continues to haunt him. Perhaps she always will. Persy—not God—damn him.
Putting a baby inside of her is something Hades wants on a primal level. It is, after all, man’s most ancient trap when it comes to the opposite sex. And he’s aware that during their time apart she’s not only had her back tattoo removed but also her seed-blocking intrauterine device. But there are some moral lines even the darkest parts of him won’t cross.
He won’t do that. Or take pleasure from her. No matter how bad he wants to claim her. She might want to give herself to him fully, but he knows he doesn’t deserve her.
Even giving her pleasure is a dubious thing to do.
But he can smell her in the darkness, wanting what any woman would expect from a man who claims to love her beyond all others. She aches. For him.
He shouldn’t touch her.
He cannot not touch her.
Both are true. Persy damn him.
He gives her relief, morning and night. Slakes her immediate need, ignoring her soft little whines and his straining dick when she asks for more.
He takes the high road. As best he can.
But days of abstinence turn into weeks, then more months.
By the time March rolls around, all the other Carnation Estates new builds have been sold, and Hades realizes why people tended to talk about taking the high road as a short-term thing—a decision made during crucial moments for a defined length of time—not as a general way of life.
It’s torture to lie next to his beautiful dream every night. To smell her desire for him. To hear her helpless moans as he brings her to pleasure. Sometimes it becomes so intense between them, she begs him with curse words he never thought he’d hear coming out of her pretty little Southern belle mouth.
“Please fuck me,” she begs on breathy moans as her sweet pussy contracts around his tongue.
But it’s the one request he refuses to grant.
It takes everything inside of him not to give in, to keep on holding back. But he manages it. For months, he manages it. Until one evening in March when he comes home from work to a disaster.
They’ve fallen into a routine here in the Midwestern state where she inadvertently chose for them to live. They were new to Ohio when he first brought her to Carnation Estates, but rich, with an attached nonprofit. After having to blackmail and claw his way into society events back in Louisiana, it amused Hades to see how fast their calendar filled up with invites to various charity galas and balls.
On the rare occasion they don’t have an event after work, Hades makes sure to end his day around six PM. Persy only works until the end of the school day, when she picks her sister up. He usually finds her in the kitchen on non-event nights, putting the finishing touches on her latest French recipe. Yet another detail of their life together that makes him hate the three years he squandered, stubbornly punishing her for her father’s crime.
But that evening, she greets him at the door.
Dressed in nothing but a slutty pink bodycon dress and a pair of stiletto heels. Nearly an identical match for the outfit he made her wear when he forced her to attend their first Louisiana society event together.
What the…he thinks, right before she lifts her arms in the air and yells out, “Joyeux Anniversaire!”