The area right between Old Town and Concessions was among the wildest in Fort Tianjin. Here were gathered beings of all stripes and colors; the setting for the strangest things one could imagine.
One day in the 1920s, a young couple came and rented a small house to get married. Soon the house was filled with brand new things: new bed, new dresser, red pot and green basin. On both sides of the front door appeared a pair of red Double-Happiness. The next morning after the wedding, the couple left their new home to go to work. Their neighbors didn’t even have a chance to get introduced.
Three days later, soon after the couple left for work, there came flying down the street a cargo tricycle pedaled by an old man, wiry, sun-baked, the muscles in his legs bulging like iron balls. Squatting on the tricycle were two young men, late teens, sticks, axes, ropes in hand. It looked like the fierce trio was here to reckon with some archenemy.
The old man brought the flying tricycle to a screechy halt outside the newlyweds’ home. The two young men jumped off, dashed to the door, and turned and snapped: “Pop, nobody’s home. The door’s locked. See this big foreign lock?”
The old man flew into a rage. His eyes almost popped out of their sockets. The veins in his neck wriggled with passion. He jumped off the tricycle and cussed: “This unfilial beast! Having the balls to desert his parents and set up his own palace here. Second Born, Third Born, smash the door open for me!”
And down came the axes on the lock, which gave way in no time. The door was open. Everything inside the newlyweds’ home was right before their eyes. The old man was more infuriated. He jumped up and down and cussed frothily:
“You heartless beast! We nursed you, fed you, picked up after your shit, brought you up. And now you become this ungrateful dog! Your ma is bedridden with illness and we are dirt broke. What kind of son are you? Can’t cough up a penny to save your dying ma, but have the money to enjoy yourself with your nymph in this love-nest! Your ma is dying! Hear that? Enjoying yourself! Let me see how you can enjoy yourself again! Second Born, Third Born, why are you still standing there? Move everything here back home for me! If you two dare to fart one word for your elder brother, I’ll break your legs!”
The two young men began to drag heavy trunks, carry armfuls of bedspreads and clothing, and throw them on the cargo tricycle.
The neighbors came out to see what was going on. After listening to the old man carrying on for a while, they picked up some cues about the newlyweds. Such an ungrateful dog! If he wouldn’t even do anything to save his own dying mother, then who would give a damn if this was happening to him? Besides, the old man was exploding like an endless string of New Year’s fireworks; who wanted to get hurt trying to intervene?
A short while later the house was all but empty. The two young men reported, “Pop, all that’s left are big things. We can’t lift them.”
The old man howled thunderously, “Smash!”
And smashed indeed was whatever that was left. Only then did they stop. The old man was still very angry, though: “Wait till I see you tomorrow!”
And they left with the loaded tricycle.
For a whole day the door remained wide open, unattended. The neighbors kept a respectful distance. Nobody ventured one step closer. Nobody left. They all wanted to see what would happen when the newlyweds came home.
Late afternoon the young couple came back, chitchatting, happy smile on their faces. At the door they stopped, shocked by what they saw. They turned to ask the neighbors, who began to disperse right away. An old granny stayed to chastise the ungrateful, unfilial young groom:
“This morning your pop and brothers came. This is their doing. Why don’t you go back and see your pop and ma!”
The groom was more than perplexed and couldn’t help blurting out: “My pop and ma? Pop died a long time ago, ma died last year, too. I have no brothers in this whole world, except for a sister married to as far as Manchuria!”
“What?” the old granny was surprised. It didn’t make sense at all because what had happened this morning was so real. “The man is your pop for sure!”
The couple hurried to the police station to report the crime. The investigation lasted for ten long years but they didn’t find one trace of the groom’s “pop.”
Strange cases of robbery had happened in Fort Tianjin, but this one was the strangest of all. The old man had not only robbed the newlyweds of their possessions, but also of their dignity by being their “pop” for one day. Moreover, they had to swallow both the injury and the insult because there was nothing they could say about it. If they couldn’t bear it any more and breathed one word about it to others, they would only have the misfortune of being laughed at. Talking about rubbing salt into an already bad wound!
(1988)