House of Carlo.
Enter Alonzo drest ridiculously, meeting Lovis, they laugh at
each other.
Lov. Very Haunce all over, the Taylor has play’d his part, play but yours as well, and I’ll warrant you the Wench.
Alon. But prithee, why need I act the Fool thus, since Haunce was never seen here?
Lov. To make good the Character I always gave of him to my Father; but here he comes, pray be very rude, and very impertinent.
Alon. Lord, Lord, how shall I look thus damnably set out, and thus in love!
Enter Don Carlo.
Lov. This, Sir, is Monsieur Haunce, your Son that must be.
Alon. Beso los manos, signor: Is your Name Don Carlo? and are you the Gravity of this House? and the Father of Donna Euphemia? and are you —
Car. Sir, I guess by all these your Demands at once, your Name to be Myn heer Haunce van Ezel.
Alon. Your Judgment’s good; but to my Questions.
Car. In truth I have forgot them, there were so many.
Alon. Are you he who is to be my Father?
Car. ’Tis so negotiated — and if all Circumstances concur — For, Sir, you must conceive, the Consequence of so grand a Conjunction —
Alon. Less of your Compliments, Sir, and more of your Daughter, I beseech you. ‘Sheart, what a formal Coxcomb ’tis.
[Aside.
Lov. Prithee give him way.
[Aside.
Alon. By this Light I’ll lose thy Sister first; Why, who can indure the grave approaches to the Matter? ‘Dslife, I would have it as I would my Fate, sudden and unexpected.
Car. Pray, how long have you been landed?
Alon. So, now shall I be plagu’d with nothing but wise Questions, to which I am able to make no Answer. [Aside.] Sir, it is your Daughter that I desire to see impatiently.
Car. Have you no Letters from my very good Friend your Father?
Alon. What if I have not? cannot I be admitted to your Daughter without a Pass?
Car. O lack, Sir —
Alon. But to let you see I come with full Power (tho I am old enough to recommend my self) here is my Commission for what I do.
[Gives him Letters.
Car. I remember amongst his other Faults, my Son writ me word he had Courage: If so, I shall consider what to do. [Reads.] Sir, I find by these your Father’s Letters, you are not yet arriv’d.
Alon. I know that, Sir, but I was told I should express my Love in my haste; therefore outsailing the Pacquet, I was the welcome Messenger my self; and since I am so forward, I beseech you, Sir —
[Carlo coming to imbrace him.
Now dare not I proceed, he has so credulous a consenting Face.
[Aside.
Car. Spare your Words, I understand their meaning; a prudent Man speaks least, as the Spaniard has it: and since you are so forward, as you were saying, I shall not be backward; but as your Father adviseth here, hasten the uniting of our Families, with all celerity; for delay in these Affairs is but to prolong time, as the wise Man says.
Alon. You are much in the right, Sir. But my Wife, I desire to be better acquainted with her.
Car. She shall be forth-coming, Sir. Had you a good Passage? for the Seas and Winds regard no Man’s necessity.
Alon. No, no, a very ill one; your Daughter, Sir.
Car. Pray, how long were you at Sea?
Alon. Euphemia, Sir, Euphemia, your Daughter. This Don’s fuller of Questions than of Proverbs, and that’s a Wonder.
[Aside.
Car. They say Flanders is a very fine Country, I never saw it; but —
Alon. Nor ’tis no matter, Sir, if you never do, so I saw your Daughter. He’ll catechize me home to my Dutch Parents by and by, of which I can give him no more account than —
[Aside.
Car. Are they as dissatisfied with their new Governour, as they were with Don John? for they love change.
Alon. A Pox of their Government, I tell you I love your Daughter.
Car. I fear ’tis so, he’s valiant; and what a dangerous Quality is that in Spain! ’tis well he’s rich.
[Aside.
Lov. Pray, Sir, keep him not long in Discourse, the Sea has made him unfit for —
Alon. Any thing but seeing my Mistress.
Lov. I’ll have mercy upon thee, and fetch her to thee.
[Ex. Lovis.
Car. Sir, you must know, that we suffer not our Women in Spain to converse so frequently with your Sex, and that thro a cautious — well consider’d prudent — Consideration.
Alon. But, Sir, do you consider what an impatient thing a young Lover is? Or is it so long since you were one your self, you have forgot it? ’Tis well he wanted Words. [Enter Euphemia and Lovis.] But yonder’s Euphemia, whose Beauty is sufficient to excuse every Defect in the whole Family, tho each were a mortal sin; and now ’tis impossible to guard my self longer from those fair Eyes.
[Aside.
Car. I must not urge him to speak much before Euphemia, lest she discover he wants Wit by his much Tongue:
[Aside.
There’s my Daughter, Sir, go and salute her.
Alon. Oh, I thank you for that, Sir.
[He stands ridiculously looking on her.
Car. You must be bold, Sir.
Alon. Well, Sir, since you command me —
[Goes rudely to kiss her.
Car. I did not mean kissing by saluting.
Alon. I cry you Mercy, Sir, so I understood you.
Car. Fie upon’t, that he should be no more a Master of Civility.
Lov. I fear, Sir, my Sister will never like this Humour in her Lover; he wants common Conversation.
Car. Conversation — ye foolish Boy, he has Money, and needs none of your Conversation. And yet if I thought he were valiant —
[This while Alonzo and Euphemia make signs of Love with their
Eyes.
Lov. I hope, Sir, he does not boast of more of that than he really has.
Car. That Fault I my self have been guilty of, and can excuse; but the thing it self I shall never endure: you know I was forc’d to send you abroad, because I thought you addicted to that. I shall never sleep in quiet — Valiant! that’s such a thing, to be Rich, or Wise and Valiant.
[Goes to Euphemia.
Lov. Colonel, pray to the business, for I fear you will betray your self.
Car. But look upon his Wealth, Euphemia, and you will find those Advantages there which are wanting in his Person; but I think the Man’s well.
Euph. I must not seem to yield too soon.
[Aside. Sir, there be many Spaniards born that are as rich as he, and have Wit too.
Car. She was ever very averse to this Marriage.
[Aside.
This Man is half a Spaniard, his Mother was one, and my first Mistress, and she I can tell you, was a great Fortune —
Euph. I, Sir, but he is such a Fool —
Car. You are a worse, to find fault with that in a Husband.
Alon. Stand aside, Sir, are you to court your Daughter or I?
Car. I was inclining her —
Alon. You inclining her! an old Man wants Rhetorick; set me to her.
[Goes to Euphemia.
Car. This capricious Humour was tolerable in him, Whilst I believ’d it the Effects of Folly, but now ’tis that of Valour: Oh, I tremble at the Sight of him.
[Retires.
Euph. Now, I see you are a Cavalier of your Word.
Alon. Faith, Euphemia, you might have believ’d, and taken me upon better Terms, if you had so pleas’d: To marry you is but an ill-favour’d Proof to give you of my Passion.
Euph. Do you repent it?
Alon. Would to God ‘twere come but to that, I was just upon the Point of it when you enter’d. But I know not what the Devil there is in that Face of yours, but it has debauch’d every sober Thought about me: Faith, do not let us marry yet.
Euph. If we had not proceeded too far to retreat, I should be content.
Alon. What shall I come to? all on the sudden to leave delicious whoring, drinking and fighting, and be condemn’d to a dull honest Wife. Well, if it be my ill Fortune, may this Curse light on thee that has brought me to’t: may I love thee even after we are married to that troublesome Degree, that I may grow most damnable jealous of thee, and keep thee from the Sight of all Mankind, but thy own natural Husband, that so thou may’st be depriv’d of the greatest Pleasure of this Life, the Blessing of Change.
Euph. I am sorry to find so much ill Nature in you; would you have the Conscience to tie me to harder Conditions than I would you?
Alon. Nay, I do not think I shall be so wickedly loving; but I am resolv’d to marry thee and try.
Euph. My Father, Sir, on with your Disguise.
[To them Carlo.
Car. Well, Sir, how do you like my Daughter?
Alon. So, so, she’ll serve for a Wife.
Car. But do you find her willing to be so?
Alon. ’Tis not a half-penny matter for that, as long as my Father and you are agreed upon the matter,
Car. Well, Euphemia, setting all foolish Modesty aside, how do you like this Man?
Euph. As one, whom in Obedience to you, I am content to cast my self away upon.
Car. How seems his Humour to you?
Euph. Indifferent, Sir, he is not very courtly, something rough and hasty.
Car. I fear she has found his ill Quality of Valour too; and since ’tis certain ’tis so, why should it be said that I ruin’d a Child to satisfy my Appetite of Riches?
[Aside.
Come, Daughter, can you love him, or can you not? For I’ll make but short Work on’t; you are my Daughter, and have a Fortune great enough to inrich any Man; and I’m resolv’d to put no Force upon your Inclinations.
Euph. How’s this! nay, then ’tis time I left dissembling.
[Aside.] Sir, this Bounty in you has strangely overcome me, and makes me asham’d to have withstood your Will so long.
Car. Do not dissemble with me, I say do not; for I am resolv’d you shall be happy.
Euph. Sir, my Obedience shall —
Car. No more of your Obedience; I say again, do not dissemble, for I’m not pleas’d with your Obedience.
Euph. This Alteration is very strange and sudden; pray Heaven he have not found the Cheat.
[Aside.
Love, Sir, they say will come after Marriage; pray let me try it.
Car. Few have found it so; nor shall you experience it at so dear a Rate as your Ruin.
Euph. But, Sir, methinks I am grown to love him more since he spoke to me, than before.
Car. The Effects of your Obedience again.
Euph. This is a strange Alteration, Sir; not all my Tears and Prayers before I saw him, could prevail with you. I beseech you, Sir, believe me.
Car. Nor should now, had I not another Reason for’t.
Euph. Oh, I fear — But, Sir —
Car. Go to, I’ll be better satisfy’d e’er I proceed farther — both of your Inclinations, and his Courage.
[Aside.
Euph. Do you consider his Wealth, Sir?
Car. That shall not now befriend him.
Alon. Sir, I bar whispering; ’tis not in my Bargain, nor civil: I’ll have fair Play for my Money.
Car. I am only knowing my Daughter’s Pleasure; she is a little peevish, as Virgins use in such Cases; but wou’d that were all, and I’d endeavour to reconcile her.
Alon. I thank you, Sir; in the mean time I’ll take a Walk for an Hour or two, to get me a better Stomach both to my Dinner and Mistress.
Car. Do so, Sir. Come, Euphemia, I will give you a Proof of my Indulgence, thou shalt marry no valiant Fools! valiant, quoth ye. Come, come — had he been peaceable and rich — Come, come —
[Ex. with Euphemia.
Lov. Well, now I’ll go look after my Dutchman, lest he surprize us here, which must not be; where shall I find you?
Alon. I’ll wait upon my Prince, and then on you here.
Lov. Do so, and carry on this Humour. Adieu.