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Summertime has come and Luke is going to be a kindergartner come August. I wish Johnathon could see him now. I can’t believe that his birthday is just two weeks away. Johnathon’s mom wants to come and visit for a week to see her grandson on his birthday. I’ve told her I have to ask Anthony. Oops I let it slip that I wasn’t staying with Chris and Kathy. She questioned me as to who he was and when I told her that he was another cop I could hear it in her voice that she disapproved. I can’t really blame her because Jeff was so wrong for me and Luke. I tell her he’s nothing like Jeff, but she doubts it. I promise to call her in a few days after I ask Anthony if she can stay with us.
When Anthony comes home from work today he looks a bit worse for the wear. Luke is in his room playing with legos and his cars. I head into the bedroom where Anthony always goes to lock up his sidearm and get out of his uniform after work. I’ve learned this routine over the past few months. Anthony hasn’t tried to have sex with me since the night in Las Vegas. That’s been a bit of a relief to me, but sleeping next to him every night makes the body want what the mind doesn’t.
I still have nightmares of the torture and abuse that Jeff put me through, as well as the night after I left Anthony in Vegas. I go into the bedroom and Anthony is sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. I usually give him time after work to shower and change before I bother him with anything. Something tells me tonight that he needs me.
I sit down next to him on the bed and ask, “What’s wrong?” Putting my arm around his waist. He leans into me and starts to cry like a baby. All I can do is hold him, I don’t know what’s wrong or how to console him at the moment.
“My grandfather died.” He finally manages in between sobs. I know how much he cared for his grandfather after what he did for him as a kid.
“When is the funeral I’ll go with you and be your support.” I ask him.
“There’s not going to be one. That was grandpa’s wish. We all said our good byes recently, I just didn’t think that it would be so soon.” He informs me of his grandfathers wishes and that he’s going to be cremated and the ashes split among the children and him.
I hold him close to me as he cries. I know the pain of losing a loved one all too well. I help him to get his gear off once he’s recovered some from the shock. I toss his uniform shirt into the dirty basket while he takes off his vest and tee shirt. When I come back over to where he is I can’t resist pulling him into a loving hug.
He looks up at me and I look down into his eyes. Before I realize what I’m doing I’ve started to kiss his lips. A consoling,loving kiss. I’m trying to express everything that I’m feeling at this moment. I realize that what he had said about having fallen for me is the same for me. I’ve fallen madly for him. I can’t wait for him to get home from work each day, I miss him when he’s gone, and Luke loves him.
My hands wander over his shoulders, chest, and down his abs. I reach for the button on his work pants and I fumble at trying to undo the button while kissing him. His strong hands are running up my back underneath my shirt. I finally free the button and zipper of his pants. They fall immediately down to the floor, but I realize that he hadn’t taken off his boots yet. So, I get down on my knees and help to undo the laces on his boots so that he can kick them off like he normally does. I hear a low growl as my head comes almost too close to his dick.
“Lillybear, please don’t work me up to let me down. I don’t know if I can contain myself any longer. You drive me nuts at night and I want you more than you know.” He whispers into the top of my head. He helps me to stand and then he pulls me on top of him.
We keep kissing and exploring each others bodies too lost in the moment to care. He’s in his boxers and I’m just wearing one of my crazy tees and a pair of shorts. His hands make quick work of removing my shirt and bra. I’m not saying no this time. I’ve wanted him for so long, but have been second guessing myself that I haven’t allowed him to show me who he really is. He pulls my shorts down to find that I chose today of all days to run around with absolutely no underwear.
His fingers find my opening and he slips two of them inside of me. I moaned and he breaks our kiss and says, “Tell me to stop and I will.” I nod in recognition of what he has said to me. I don’t want to stop, not yet. I want to feel the love of someone who loves me for just who I am and not just for the sex I can give them. Anthony has shown me that he respects my wishes, he hasn’t tried to have sex with me. He has brought me home flowers, given me loving kisses and whenever I apologize that I didn’t clean up some of the house he doesn’t berate me. He sees that Luke is a happy child and the house is lived in.
His hand moves like an expert in and out over my clit, lightly tracing my outer lips. He rolls us over, so that he is on top and in control. I don’t mind him being in control, I can see the love in his eyes. He pulls his fingers close to his face and smells them and then says, “I love how you smell on my fingers.”
He gently pushes my legs apart before he settles himself between them. I must have started to tense up when I feel the head of his dick at my opening. He leans in and gives me a gentle kiss on the neck and whispers to me, “I’m not going to force you, if you want to stop then say the word.”
He gives me a moment to relax and then I feel him enter me. He completely fills me. His strokes are at a methodical slow pace, he’s not in it to win a race. He’s making love to me, not fucking me. I can’t take my eyes off of him, my hands wander down his back to his hips. Before I realize what I’m doing I’ve got my hands between us and I’m gently going over his balls. They feel full and ready to burst. I feel them tighten as Anthony gets a growl at my touch.
“Lillybear I’m not going to be able to hold myself off if you keep up torturing me like that.” He says honestly, he’s not mad or frustrated with me. He’s saying it in a loving tone. I can tell that he is appreciating what I am doing and he only wants me to know he’s close to his release.
A couple of moments later I feel my climax approaching and I know that he feels my walls tightening down around him. He speeds up his pace and we both go over the edge. It’s beautiful I see a rainbow of colors around him as my orgasm eases off. I feel Anthony pull out and he collapses onto the bed next to me. I miss the feeling of him inside me almost immediately.
A knock comes to the door and I hear Luke’s voice, “Momma are you and daddy going to make dinner?” He’s hungry, he never bothers me when I’m in bed unless he’s hungry. Jeff would have killed him if he’d interrupted us when we were sleeping. Instead I hear Anthony’s voice.
“Come on in Luke, we’re decent.” Anthony has tossed the covers up to my shoulders and has his hips covered so that Luke doesn’t know what we were doing.
Luke climbs up on the bed between the two of us and asks, “Why were you sleeping momma?”
“Oh, your momma and I were just having an adult conversation.” Anthony answers for me. Trying to save me some embarrassment.
“Oh, so you and momma were playing with your clothes off.” Luke answers smartly. He’s too smart for his own good.
“Well, yes. And later on your momma and I are gonna have to talk about something else.” Anthony says tousling Luke’s hair. How about you go get the take out menu for whatever food you want, I’ll get dressed and we’ll pick it up while momma rests a little bit longer.
“Okey dokey!” Luke says as he jumps down off of the bed. Anthony chuckles at his cute saying, then he leans in and kisses me on the forehead. I must be looking at him dumbfounded.
“We have to talk tonight.” He says once Luke has closed the door to the bedroom so that Anthony can get dressed. I’m confused about what, but knowing Anthony it’s important.