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She let me make love to her tonight. I got the call that my grandfather passed away as I was leaving my shift and it hit me hard. He was the man that taught me how to treat a woman with respect. She had come in to comfort me and things went differently than just consoling me. She’d opened up to me. Our love session was awesome. She was tight as fuck and I enjoyed it, at first she’d tensed on me. Once she realized that if she said stop I would she had relaxed and allowed me to enter.
When Luke knocked on the door because he was hungry it dawned on me that I hadn’t used protection. I knew that we were both clean, but I don’t know if she is on any kind of birth control or not. I sure don’t want her getting pregnant and not wanting the baby. I want us to go into everything with our eyes open. I have to tell her what happened and find out how she feels about it.
Luke decided on pizza from our favorite pizza joint. As we drive to pick up the pizzas that we’ve ordered I decide we need to have a talk about his mom’s and my relationship.
“Luke, you know when a man and a woman care about each other a lot, they express it in many ways, right?” I start our conversation.
“Yeah.” He answers me.
“You understand that sometimes we will express it with our clothes off?”
“Yeah.”
“You understand that your momma may make noises, but she should never get hurt, or cry in pain when someone is expressing their love to her?”
“You mean like Jeff used to do.” His statement throws me. I knew they had been together since he was just over a year old and she had left when he was almost four. I didn’t realize how much he had seen and heard.
“Yeah, buddy like Jeff used to do. It’s not nice to hurt someone that you love. I promise you that I will never hurt your momma. She just needs time to see that I won’t treat her the way he did. From what your momma has told me your real daddy was a good man.” I explain to him the best way that I can how a man treats a woman. It’s very similar to the conversation I had with my grandfather multiple times in my life.
We pick up the pizzas and head back to the house knowing that Lilly will be dressed and setting the table for us, if it’s not already set. We get home and just like I predicted the table is set and she’s standing in the kitchen preparing a salad. She knew that her son would want pizza so she has to supplement it with healthy food whenever we get it.
We eat dinner and Luke can’t get the shit eating grin off his face. I wonder what he’s thinking about, but I don’t have to wonder for too long. “Momma are you and Mister Anthony gonna get married?”
I swear I didn’t put him up to this. I about drop my fork on the table. Lilly about chokes on her drink. She finally says, “Wh..What did you just ask, Luke?”
“I asked if you and Mister Anthony are going to get married.” He repeats his question with the curiosity of a typical child.
“Well, Anthony hasn’t asked me to marry him, but if he does and I decide I want to stay with him, then we might.” She explains to Luke.
“But mommy, he’s perfect for you. He’s not like Jeff. I love him.” Luke starts to argue. I can tell that Lilly is getting frustrated with the topic.
“Well, we will have to see how things go hun.” Lilly says to him.
“Okay, momma. I just wanted you to know how I feel.” He finishes twirling his fork in his salad. He’s looking down in the defeated kid look.
I lock eyes and mouth to Lilly that I didn’t put him up to this. She nods in response to what I’ve mouthed.