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When Luke and Anthony left I was still mulling over what he wanted to talk to me about tonight. I still need to talk to him about Luke’s grandma coming down for a week around Luke’s birthday. I haven’t even told him when Luke’s birthday is. I didn’t think we would stay long enough to celebrate it with Anthony.
Then during dinner Luke asks me if I’m going to marry Anthony. I haven’t even considered staying a long time. I want to see how the next school year went. I have learned from experience not to trust someone in a short period of time. If something changes during the next school year I can go to Kathy’s and keep Luke in school until the end of the year. Then I can move on somewhere that no one knows me.
Anthony told me that they found Jeff guilty of attempted murder and that at the sentencing he got fifteen years and an eight thousand dollar fine, owed to a trust for me. The state has applied to have him tried for the rapes on patrol stops with his buddies Brett and Josh. If they are found guilty he could face up to another twenty years and another ten thousand dollars in fines payable to the victims. The only downside to it is that he could serve all the punishments at the same time if the courts decide it that way, but Anthony says the attorney is fighting for the sentences to be consecutive, meaning he would first have to serve the punishment for my attempted murder and then the rapes. That would put him in jail until he was an old and limp dicked man.
After I’ve put Luke down for bed and I’ve cleaned up the dishes I head into the bedroom. There Anthony is going through his mail from the past few days. He looks up at me and puts the mail back on his nightstand. He taps the bed for me to sit next to him. I do and the look on his face is serious. This concerns me that Luke spoiled his surprise and now he’s going to propose to me.
“Lillybear, I need to talk to you about earlier today.” He starts.
Well at least now I know he’s not proposing to me. “Yeah? What about?” Now I’m curious.
He takes my hands in his before he speaks again. “You caught me off guard earlier, and even though I am happy that you let me make love to you today...” He pauses looking in my eyes. “Well, we hadn’t talked about your wishes during sex.”
Oh great I let him make love to me and now he’s worried about crossing the line. “Okay?” I’m confused as to exactly what he wants to say now. “What kind of wishes?” I ask him.
He clears his throat. “Well, I don’t care either way. I am prepared either way you choose. But earlier we both got wrapped up in the moment and well, we didn’t use protection.” He pauses studying my face as I process the fact that we had unprotected sex.
Although it is a bit worrisome, I know he hasn’t been with anyone since I moved in months ago. Plus, I’m protected from unwanted pregnancy since I had an implant put in my arm to prevent me from getting pregnant again, before I wanted to. “It’s okay, I’ve got birth control.” I reply to him.
“What are you on, the pill?” He asks me seriously curious about what I am doing to protect myself from unwanted pregnancy.
“No, I had an implant put in when Jeff and I first were getting serious, I didn’t want another kid, and he didn’t want me on birth control. So, I went and had the implant put in my arm so that I was protected.” I explain to him that even though Luke was unplanned I didn’t want another surprise pregnancy.
“Good for you.” He says with a smile across his face. “How long does it last?” He asks me now in full curious mode.
“Five years. I got it when Luke turned two. So, it’s got three years left on it.” I answer his question, but I can see he’s mulling something over.
“It can be removed before that time if you change your mind, right.”
“Yes. And it’s ninety nine percent effective. Anything else you need to know?” I am glad he’s curious and supportive of my decision.
“Where is it?” He asks me wanting to be the boyfriend that is informed.
I hold up my right arm and take his hand in mine. I locate the implant and then run his fingers over it. I hear him sigh, he knows that I’m not lying to him. This reminds me about Luke’s birthday and his grandma wanting to come visit. I clear my throat and say, “By the way, I need to ask you something.”
“Sure, what is it?”
“Well Luke’s grandma, Johnathon’s mom wants to come visit for a week around his birthday. I was wondering if it was okay for her to stay here in the house with us?” Jeff always said no. She had to stay in a hotel and then could only see Luke when Jeff was home. He didn’t trust me out of the house with Luke, so I was pretty much tied to the house aside from grocery shopping.
“Sure, she can stay here with us, as long as you don’t mind her here. I mean Luke is her grandson and she can come and see him anytime she wants as long as you’re in agreement.” He answers me in excitement.
“When’s his birthday?” Anthony asks me realizing I’ve never told him.
“July thirty first.” I answer him.
“Okay, and where is his grandma coming from?”
“Biloxi, Mississippi.”
“Oh, I thought you were from Texas” He says in response to where she lives.
“No, I’m from Mississippi. When I got pregnant at sixteen my parents kicked me out. I stayed with Jonathon and his mom until he finished school and I had Luke. He shipped off for boot just after graduation, and I finished my senior year staying with his mom.” I can see him doing the math. Luke is about to be five and I got pregnant at sixteen. “I moved to Wink after Johnathon got killed. I had found a job and moved away. The pain in Mississippi was too much and I needed to leave. Then I met Jeff and, well you know the rest.” I finish. He’s still calculating my age, I guess.
“So, exactly how old are you, did I give an alcoholic drink to someone under the age of twenty one?” He is wondering I can see the panic on his face that he broke the law.
“I’m twenty one. I had Luke after I turned seventeen. I got pregnant in October and my birthday is in January so I was seventeen when I gave birth. I turned twenty one this past January.”
“Okay.” He pauses for a moment. “How old do you think I am?”
“Um. I guess about twenty five.” It had never dawned that there was an age difference. I knew that he had to be twenty one to be on the force, its that way in just about every state.
He chuckles at my guess and I’m wondering why. Then he says, “I appreciate the compliment, but add another twelve years to that. I’m thirty seven. Is that a problem for you, because it isn’t for me.”
Oh shit. I shake my head no to indicate that the age difference isn’t a problem to me. I was sure that he was younger, but the heart wants what the heart wants. What does the fact that he is old enough to have fathered me at the age of sixteen mean anyways. I mean I became a mom at seventeen. “Wow.” Is all I can say at the moment.