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Well, Chris is excited for us, so excited that he pulls out his phone and calls Kathy over here immediately. She is sleepy and confused as to why Chris wants her at Anthony’s house immediately. While we wait for her to show up I head into the bathroom to process all of this by myself.
I didn’t want another unexpected pregnancy and here I am, AGAIN. This time my birth control let me down. Last time I was stupid and in love. What am I going to do. I was raised against abortion, but after what Jeff did to me, my views on the subject have changed. Anthony didn’t force himself on me, he showed me each night how much he cares for me. I don’t know if I love him like I loved Johnathon, I do care about him and his opinions, but this is my body and I don’t know if I can do another pregnancy now. It’s too early in our relationship.
I hear the door open and know that Kathy has arrived. I collect myself and head back into the den where everyone is gathered. Kathy is confused, and worried at first. She thought something had happened to me or Anthony. But when she sees both of us are okay her thoughts go to Luke. Chris tells her that Luke is asleep her concern now turns to anger. She’s got to work in the morning and it’s the middle of the night.
Chris tells her to sit down on the couch beside him and I take my place beside Anthony on the opposite couch. She’s boring a hole into the two of us. I can see the fury. It reminds me of the last time that I was pregnant. She had just started dating some boy and I spoiled the whole thing being the younger stupid sister that got knocked up. I got kicked out of the house that night and never saw my parents again. Only my sister kept in touch with me until she moved to Texas and fell in love with Chris. She was still a bit perturbed that I had the first grandbaby. Well, she’s been married two years and no kids, yet and now I’m about to have my second child. I’m sure she’s not going to be happy, so I’ll let the men tell her the ‘good’ news.
“So what has everyone wanting me here in the middle of the night?” Kathy asks.
Chris and Anthony look to me and I just shy away from the whole announcing it. Anthony takes my hand in his and says, “Well, Kathy, Lilly and I are expecting a baby.” He has picked up on how tense I am and he doesn’t say it with as much excitement as he did for his best friend.
“Well.” Is all that Kathy says at first. I can see her thinking it over and a small smile comes onto her face. “I guess you need an OB don’t you.”
I nod that I do and she gets a larger smile on her face. “Then I have the doctor for you. Give me a day or so to get in touch with my doctor.” I think she realizes that I’m confused as to what to think of her suggestion.
“Oh, you weren’t trying to get pregnant were you?” She asks not judging me at all.
I shake my head and finally explain to her that I had a birth control implant and it had recently fallen out. I explain that I usually check every month for it and this month it wasn’t there. I tell her that we went to the hospital to verify that it had fallen out and they had done a pregnancy test, which came back positive. She really now understands that this wasn’t planned or even expected. I had done everything to be a responsible person this time.
She gets up from where she was sitting at and comes and sits next to me and Anthony. She says, “I know Luke was unexpected, but you loved Johnathon, and then he died. I see the same love that Johnathon showed you in Anthony. Please let him show you that he’s not Jeff. I think that you already know that, but you’re scared that he is going to change because of the turn of events.” She looks at Anthony and myself before she continues. “Let me tell you that he’s not. He loves Luke and he’s gonna be a great father.”
I think she’s trying to convince me not to have an abortion. But, I’m still not sure if I can go through being a mother of two by myself. I know that Anthony doesn’t want a kid. He didn’t say anything at the hospital or on the way home about it. He had sounded happy when he told Chris that we were expecting a baby, but I know if I decide to leave now he’s got the money that he can take my kid from me and I’ll never see it again. I feel trapped now I have to stay until the kid is old enough to move out or I can really support both of my kids.