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She hasn’t said much and I’m worried as to how she feels about the whole situation. I’m trying to contain my excitement, but I am very happy that she is pregnant. It may not have been expected, but I want kids with her, and only her. I’ve got to figure out how to show her that I’m not upset by this.
Kathy finally calls her a few days later and her doctor has worked her in next week. I don’t know if she wants me to go or not, but I told my supervisor that I had an appointment that day. I’m going whether or not she wants me to. I want to be there for everything, I’ve got questions myself. I’ve never been a father to a newborn, and I’ve only been an acting father to Luke for the last few months. I’m still learning this whole fathering thing.
The days pass by and it’s finally the day of her appointment, maybe now I’m going to find out what she’s been thinking for the past week. She hasn’t wanted to talk about the subject, and by the time Luke is in bed and we get some alone time, she falls asleep. I know that it’s because of the baby growing in her belly. I’ve been very forgiving, not that she needs forgiving, but she keeps apologizing and I keep telling her that it’s okay. When she realizes that I want to go with her to this appointment she says, “Oh, no you’re not gonna go with me to the appointment.”
“Why not? I’m the father and I want to be there to support you in whatever you do.” I answer her.
“You realize that he’s going to do a full exam on me, right?” She asks me trying to throw me off going.
“No, I didn’t, but now I know. Are you going to be okay with me there when he does the exam?” I ask her not backing down from going.
“I guess I am, but you are not going to talk me into something I don’t want.” She tells me.
“No, Lillybear, I have questions that I want answered and the only way to get them answered is to go with you and ask them.” I explain my reasoning for going with her.
“Okay, but if I hear something and decide to terminate the pregnancy then you better not try to talk me out of it, or have the doctor do it for you.” She says to me letting me know her stance on the particular subject.
“Nope, I’m just a passenger in the decisions you make. I will tell you that I am happy that you are carrying my child, but if you feel cornered and think that ending the pregnancy is what needs to be done I will have your back.” I tell her explaining my point on the subject.
We head to the doctors office and wait to be called back. I can tell she’s nervous as she starts to fill out the forms. I hand her my insurance card for the insurance information and she looks at me confused, so I remind her that I put her on my insurance when I had to take her to the hospital for the emergency surgery.
“Why did you do that?” She asks me.
“I did it because I Love you and Luke, it’s what a man does for the woman he loves.” I explain to her as I hand the receptionist the insurance card and my drivers license to make a copy of it as the responsible party.
“You know that medicaid would cover me during the pregnancy, right?” She asks me curiously.
“I don’t care, that’s our child and I am able to pay for the treatment that you are getting, so I’m paying.” I let her know.
A few minutes later she is finally called back. When we get to the room we have to wait again. A little while later the doctor enters the room. He’s a younger doctor, about my age, but he is professional in how he carries himself. He introduces himself to each of us and looks over the chart. “So, you’re pregnant.” He says to Lilly.
She nods in response to his statement, and then explains that the birth control implant had fallen out between her monthly checks and we weren’t using protection. Then she explains about the colostomy bag and the surgery to remove it. She tells him that they didn’t know she was pregnant when she went in for surgery.
He listens intently to the story and understands her concerns. When she has finished telling him about the conception of our child. He clears his throat and says, “Well let me first set your mind at ease some. If you were pregnant before the surgery and the doctors knew about it, then they figured that the risks of the surgery far outweighed the benefits of not having it done at that time. According to the calculations you are only about five weeks pregnant, so the anesthesia shouldn’t have affected the baby at all.” He explains to her about the anesthesia and how far along she is.”
He continues with the rest of the appointment before he approaches any of our other questions. He’s already answered my question about the anesthesia. Lilly asks him, “What are your suggestions with this pregnancy?”
He looks at her confused as to why she’s asking this question. I finally explain that she is concerned about the baby health with the exposure to the anestesia, as well as since she is still recovering from her surgery. Now he understands and he say, “Well, it is up to you and what you want to do if you don’t want to continue the pregnancy then we have until around the sixth week of pregnancy, so we would need an ultrasound, to determine the exact date of conception.” He explains the laws that he has to follow to her.
“You really don’t think the anesthesia affected the baby?” She asks him. He can tell she’s on the fence with the subject.
“No. I can ask for the preoperative tests and see what your levels were when the blood work was taken, and we can schedule a couple of extra ultrasounds to monitor the baby’s growth, as well as we can take a fetal sample from the umbilical cord during the pregnancy to determine any problems that may be undetectable during the ultrasounds.” He is trying to help her to make her decision. He’s not pushing continuing the pregnancy, but he’s also not pushing an abortion.
She finally has thought it through. “As long as you don’t hide anything from me if you find something you tell me. I want my baby healthy, and I want to be prepared if anything has affected the fetus.” Inside I’m jumping for joy, she’s going to keep my baby. Maybe I’ve gotten the chance to prove to her how much I love her and Luke. We end the appointment and schedule her next appointment as well as her first ultrasound.