By five o’clock the next morning, Gage couldn’t sleep anymore. He didn’t get more than five or six hours of sleep most of the time, and last night’s fight with Laurel had impacted him a lot more than he wanted to admit. What she’d said had floored him. Their separation had been years ago and he’d had no idea she’d known about his lies. Jesus fucking Christ, how had this never come out in therapy? How had he not suspected that she’d known more than she’d let on? And how the fuck was he going to fix this? Was it even possible after all this time?
He wanted them to be together again. Desperately. But the past would catch up to them, like it always did, and they’d ultimately hurt each other. Again. That was the last thing he wanted to do. She was the love of his life, his soul mate, an integral part of him, but the events that once tore them apart were difficult to forget. She hadn’t been there for him when he’d needed her support the most, and she claimed he’d done the same. No amount of therapy had been able to fix them, though he believed there was more to the story than she’d let on. He was positive she wasn’t telling him everything, but he’d never been able to get her to talk about it. Last night they’d come close but she’d shut down and he knew without a shadow of a doubt he’d never win her trust again if she moved into a hotel. The only way to start to rebuild something was if she was here, close to him.
That hadn’t been his plan until she’d gotten here. Yes, she was the first person he thought of for the coaching job because he thought of her with regard to almost everything. He dated and certainly had more than his fair share of sexual partners, but Laurel was the only woman he would ever love and he’d somehow convinced himself that if he couldn’t have her, he would have no one. So when this situation had fallen into his lap, he’d jumped at any chance to be near her again. It hadn’t occurred to him until she was actually standing in front of him that he wanted her back so badly he could taste it. He was willing to do absolutely anything to clear the air, get one more chance with her. He just didn’t know how and time was running out. If the team’s performance last night was any indication, he had less than three weeks to convince her to give him another chance.
Taz whimpered from his bed on the floor next to Gage’s and Gage reached down his hand, knowing the puppy would jump on it. He lifted him onto his chest and scratched his ears.
“What are we gonna do, buddy? Huh? You want her to stay too, don’t you?”
Taz wagged his tail in agreement and Gage sighed. He needed a plan and he needed one fast.
Laurel was in her office watching the video from the game the other night when Howard came in. He leaned against the doorframe as Laurel paused the video and greeted him.
“What’s up, Howard?”
“I’m hoping you have a plan so the team doesn’t embarrass themselves again.”
“It’s not up to me,” she said smoothly. “It’s all up to them. They’ll be here for the morning skate in a little while and we’ll see what’s what.”
“I sure as hell hope so. I’m not impressed so far, Ms. Saunders.”
“I don’t give a flying fuck, Mr. Darnier.” She got to her feet, flashed him her sweetest smile and breezed past him towards the locker room.
She ran into Jake on the way and motioned for him to walk with her.
“Talk to me,” she said quietly. “Tell me what’s in everyone’s head, to the best of your knowledge.”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I think we’re all a little unsure what’s going on, if the change in coaching staff is going to mean a lot of changes on the team this summer too.”
“And no one believes I’ll have anything to say about that.”
“I don’t think anyone cares about you one way or the other because in two weeks our season will be over and you’re going to be gone.”
She stopped walking and looked up into his face. “Jake, we can do this. There were sparks of light this season. We’re this close—” she held her thumb and forefinger close together for emphasis, “—to a playoff spot. One last push for something you’ve never accomplished as a team and some of us have never accomplished period. Don’t they feel it? Before this happened, you were close. I’ve watched the tapes and there were moments of pure brilliance out there. I know there’s a cancer on the team, but I can’t do anything about him unless I get a little help. If you can help me reach these guys, I can help rid you of that problem.”
“Matt.” Jake had no trouble guessing who she was talking about.
“I need to know exactly what’s going on with him because I already see how hot-headed he is. If it was just on the ice, I could work with that, but it’s his general attitude in life and that’s not acceptable.” She broke off as two more players came around the corner.
“What can I do?” Jake asked.
“I need to get through to them, the core guys, the ones you know you can trust. Who are they?”
“Sergei and Kane, obviously. Mikka, Dave Price, Logan, Aaron… That’s where I’d start. Win those guys over and you’ll have the rest of the team, except for a couple who won’t fall in no matter what you say or do.”
“Got it.” She nodded. “Thanks.” She headed down to the ice to put on her skates and wait for the team.
The players were subdued when they got down to the ice and started warming up. Laurel greeted everyone casually but didn’t say much, watching as they skated around. Some of the guys were stretching on the ice, like Aaron and the back-up goalie, Donovan Legori. Some of them were talking among themselves, most seemed focused on warming up, and Matt freakin’ Forbes was shooting daggers in her direction, chatting with one of the older players on the team, whose name she couldn’t remember if her life depended on it. Luckily, it was time to get started.
She blew the whistle, motioning for the team to circle around. “I don’t need to tell you we looked like hell the other night.”
“Practice with a bunch of pussies probably didn’t help,” Matt shot out.
Instead of the laughter he expected, Sergei told him to be quiet and a few of the other guys gave him warning looks.
“What you got from yesterday’s practice was a sense of unity and perhaps some insight on being the underdog.”
“We’re already the fucking underdog,” Matt responded.
“Which is exactly why I opted to go for something unconventional.”
“It was stupid,” he muttered.
“Would you shut up already?” Jake said to him.
“She’s Caldwell’s cunt. That’s the only reason she’s here and—”
“Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?” Jake snapped, shaking his head. “That was uncalled for.”
“Just because I say what everyone else is thinking doesn’t make me wrong.”
“I don’t—” Sergei began.
“It’s all right, boys.” Laurel held up a hand. “I’ve got this.” She turned to Matt. “Tell me the problem, Mr. Forbes. Does my vagina offend you?”
“You offend me,” he responded. “You have this job because you used to fuck the owner. Or maybe you still do. Regardless, coaching an Olympic team is nothing like the NHL and our performance the other night proves it.”
“I see.” She cocked her head. “So that was my fault? You guys aren’t professionals who’ve been playing for a few years? You can’t get out there and score a few goals without a male coach to guide you every step of the way?”
Matt rolled his eyes. “Don’t be a douche.”
“I’m not the one being any particular way. You, however, have already called me a cunt, stupid, and a douche. If you think those words bother me, you’ll have to try harder. Now, would you like to get on with practice or sling some more insults? I’m sure we could do that all day.”
He shrugged. “I don’t really give a shit.”
“Do you give a shit about the game tonight? Because it sounds to me like you don’t. Why don’t you have a seat? Your ass is benched.”
“You can’t bench me,” he sputtered, staring at her.
“Yeah, I kind of can.” She turned to her assistant coach, who’d been quiet during the exchange. “What do you think, Marshall?”
“You absolutely can bench him.”
“Look at that.” She shrugged. “Healthy scratch tonight, let’s put—”
“Fuck you, you stupid bitch!” Matt growled, skating up to her.
Marshall and Jake both moved toward them but Laurel held out a hand, stopping them. She never blinked, merely meeting Matt’s gaze directly. “Where are we going with this, Matt? You don’t like me, fine, but you can’t talk to me that way. Plain and simple.”
Matt was breathing hard and she noted his eyes were dilated. Was he high? The thought gave her pause, considering what had happened with the coaching staff. She was also grateful that Marshall and Jake were nearby because while she could take care of herself, Matt had a good ten inches on her and at least seventy or eighty pounds. She was no match for him if he was amped up on something.
“You. Aren’t. The. Boss. Of. Me.” He spat out the words, enunciating them individually, emphasizing his distaste for her, and she nearly flinched at the spittle coming out of his mouth.
“I am and your ass is benched until you write me a thousand-word essay on what feminism means to you.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” His eyes narrowed and he leaned in.
Laurel didn’t move, though she desperately wanted to. “Twenty-five hundred words.”
“Fuck you.”
“Five thousand. And if I get to ten, you’ll read it aloud to your teammates.”
“You fucking—” He raised his hand and Jake instantly put himself in front of Laurel.
“Go sleep it off,” he growled. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re smoking but get out of here until you calm down.”
“She can’t make me write a fucking essay!” he yelled. “This isn’t fucking grade school.”
“Then stop behaving like you’re ten years old,” Laurel said calmly, stepping around Jake. “Now get off my ice and go home. Don’t come back until you’re ready to apologize and you’ve written my fucking essay. You think it’s childish? Just wait. I got plenty more where that came from.”
“Fuck you!”
“Don’t make me call security.”
“Let’s go, Matt.” Jake gave him a nudge.
“Fuck you too!”
“Yeah, yeah.” Jake and Sergei flanked him as they guided him off the ice.
“You okay, Laurel?” Marshall was looking at her with concern.
This was no time to show weakness and she swallowed down the bile rising in her throat. “I’m fine, thank you.” She turned to the team. “I apologize for whatever that was. I don’t usually assign essays to my players—not even the ones who actually are in elementary or middle school—but it was either that or I was going to kick him in the balls and I figure that might not be in my best interest.”
The guys were shaking their heads, apologizing on Matt’s behalf and she finally held up a hand. “Okay, we’ve wasted enough time on this, let’s go. Drills.” She motioned to Marshall who got them started and she skated back to the bench, grabbing her water bottle like a lifeline. What the fuck had just happened? That had been incredibly unprofessional, and she had no idea where the essay thing came from. She’d never done anything like that before but she truly had wanted to hit him. Something else she’d never done before.
“An essay?” Dani’s head was down as she fiddled with some equipment, but her shoulders shook as she tried to keep from laughing.
“I know,” Laurel muttered. “I don’t know what came over me.”
“He was goading you.”
“Jesus, Dani, how can I coach if they feel this way about me?” Laurel was whispering. Showing weakness in front of the guys was unacceptable, but Dani was different.
“They don’t,” Dani whispered back. “Sergei and Jake have talked to everyone. It’s just Matt, Syd, and maybe Davis. Otherwise, the guys know this is you stepping in to help. It’ll be okay. Just be yourself, do what you do. You’re one of the best coaches in the sport. You got this.”
“Thanks.” Laurel took a deep breath and stood up. She walked to the edge of the ice and blew her whistle. It was time to take back control and get this show on the road. No matter what happened tonight, it wasn’t going to be because she didn’t do her job.