What felt like two years but was probably only twenty minutes later, they lay on their backs side by side, fingers entwined, trying to get their breath back.
“That was effective,” she murmured, “but not permanent.”
“Can we at least order breakfast before you break up with me again?”
She squeezed his hand. “I’m not breaking up with you.”
“No?” He turned to stare at her. “Really?”
“Last night was what we always do,” she said softly. “We spend time together, remember how good the sex is, and then get naked.”
“Not true. I saw we were going in that direction and realized how stupid this is. There’s no reason for us to be apart when the pull between us is still this strong. If it’s not going to work out, at least we can say we really tried. Because we never did before. You never opened up about what happened when I was deployed, or what made you change your mind so abruptly. This time, we’re going to do just that. We have to. I don’t care what it is, or how hurtful it’s going to be to talk it out, we deserve another chance. Both of us.”
She looked away, wondering if he was right. He’d hurt her, but being apart had hurt too. She wasn’t able to move on, wasn’t able to go back, and the last five years or so had been all about burying herself in work so she didn’t have to think about how barren her soul was.
“Come on, babe. Talk to me.”
“You can’t possibly want to have this conversation right now, on our first day together. In fact, I think we need to keep our relationship a secret until the season is over. No one is going to think twice about seeing us together since I work for you and was already living in your house, but let’s keep the rumor mill at bay until the season is over.”
“Okay. That’s fair.”
She frowned. Since when did he give in so easily? “You’ve never agreed to anything like this without an argument. What gives?”
“I’m older and wiser?”
“Right.” She shook her head. “Okay, order some breakfast already.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He reached for the phone on the bedside table and ordered breakfast.
Laurel folded her arms across her chest. “You didn’t even ask me what I wanted.”
“Two eggs, sunny-side up, bacon, fruit, and wheat toast. I even ordered the oatmeal.”
She couldn’t help but laugh. “Fine.”
“You used to like it when I did things like this for you,” he said, cocking his head slightly.
“I’ve been on my own a long time, Gage. I’m used to doing it myself.”
“I’m sorry. I guess that’s on me.”
“It’s not your fault I could never move on.”
“You must date?”
She paused. “No, not really. A few over the years, but there was never…” She let her voice trail off and looked away, suddenly embarrassed.
“Laurie?” He gently took her chin with his fingers and forced her to look at him. “Have you not…been with anyone else?”
She’d never wanted him to know that, but if that was the case, then what was she doing here? If she wasn’t even going to try to be honest with him, she might as well leave and never look back. “No,” she said at last. “I’ve never been with anyone else. A few kisses, a few dates, but I’ve never had intercourse with anyone but you. You know that.”
“I…” She’d never seen him at a loss for words before. “No, I didn’t know that. I mean, I assumed so while we were together but from the time we left couples counseling, I thought it was inevitable.”
“I’m not you,” she said.
“Oh, hell, Laurie.” He shook his head. “I feel like I should apologize, but you left me. I never would have looked at another woman if you hadn’t. I’ve had sex, but I’ve never been in any kind of relationship. There’s never been anyone in my heart but you.”
She wanted to be upset about this, but how could she be? She had been the one to leave while he’d begged her to give him another chance. She’d never given counseling a chance and early on she’d been so angry she hadn’t listened to anything he’d said. Of course, she’d been dealing with her own grief and a plethora of other emotions he knew nothing about. He was the most sexual person she’d ever known, so it made sense he’d had sex with other women. Probably a lot of them. He hadn’t been a virgin when they’d met either, which also made a difference.
“I see the wheels turning,” he said after a moment. “Are you angry about me sleeping around?”
“Not angry,” she admitted. “Disappointed. I know it’s silly.”
“It’s not silly, and I wish I could take it back, but you hurt me too, Laurie. I came home from Afghanistan and…you asked for a divorce. I was so confused and hurt, and to be honest, I still am sometimes.”
“You’re confused and hurt? How do you think I felt?”
“I don’t know. You wouldn’t ever tell me and I think it’s time. Don’t you?”
“Are we really going to do this already? It’s been like five minutes.”
“It’s been years, and yeah, we’re gonna keep doing this until we sort it out. How the hell else is this gonna work?”
They scowled at each other until someone knocked on the door.
“That was fast,” Gage said in surprise. “I’ll get it.”
“I’ll get dressed.” Laurel reached for her phone and realized it had died overnight. She pulled on her clothes, listening to the voices in the other room. It took a moment, but she eventually recognized Jake’s voice. That couldn’t be good. Shit. What had she missed while her phone battery had been dead and she and Gage had been getting naked?
She hurried to finish dressing and joined them in the other room.
“Morning, Coach.” Jake looked more somber than she’d ever seen him, and not even a little bit surprised to see her coming out of Gage’s bedroom.
“What’s going on?” she asked, looking between the two men worriedly.
“We have a situation.”
“Tell me,” she said impatiently.
“It’s Matt.”
“Oh, fuck me loud. Now what?”
Jake hesitated. “He overdosed.”