Laurel suspected something. He didn’t know what or how, but she’d been a little distant since his return from D.C. Even though she’d laughed it off and said she was distracted because of the excitement for the playoffs, he’d had the strangest feeling since she’d asked him if he’d “broken up with her.” It didn’t sit well with him that she thought he had a woman stashed away somewhere, but she wasn’t stupid. Most people wouldn’t notice his disappearances, but Laurel wasn’t most people. Even when they were broken up, she knew him better than anyone. Uncle Malcolm had once commented that they were like two parts of one whole, that’s how in tune they were to each other.
The only time they’d ever been disconnected emotionally had been when he’d been deployed and he’d done that by design, ostensibly to protect her. Now she most likely noticed all the little things he was used to doing, like jetting off somewhere at a moment’s notice, but because of hockey or some deep-seated insecurity, she wasn’t saying anything. Her sleepy question about him having another woman somewhere told him just how much she still didn’t trust him and he hated it, both for himself and for her.
Unfortunately, the only thing that would help in that regard was time. It would take time for her to trust him again and there was no telling just how long. The only thing he knew for sure was that he absolutely couldn’t break that trust any time soon. No one was perfect, and she wouldn’t expect him to be, but finding out he was still with the CIA wasn’t an option. He had to end this now. Except Stefan Havlek was a terrible human being that had killed hundreds of innocent people. The idea that he wouldn’t do everything in his power to stop him didn’t sit well with him either. Stefan ran with an elite crowd who inadvertently protected him since no one knew the extent of his involvement in terrorism. Most thought he was an arrogant, slightly eccentric billionaire who didn’t stay in one place too long. That had been his biggest asset until now. Gage was also an eccentric billionaire who supposedly liked expensive cars, expensive clothes, and even more expensive women.
He had to catch this guy and then wash his hands of everything CIA. It wouldn’t be easy but Laurel was worth it. The first thing he had to do was reach out to their mutual friends and see if anyone knew where he was going to be. He’d been a no-show at the party in D.C. so his whole reason for going had been moot. Someone said there’d been a woman involved, but no one knew any details so Gage had come home empty-handed. He’d find a way to get more information, though. He had to.
With nearly a week off until the playoffs started, Laurel had her hands full. She’d given the team a day off after the last game and then did one intense practice followed by a much more low-key one. They were flying to Nashville in the morning, which would take most of the day once you included flight time and the three-hour time change. Then they’d have two full days to practice and adjust to the different time zone. It would be hard on both the team and their families, but that was hockey and it was a shame the distance to Anchorage added a layer of difficulty to an already high-pressure and high-profile job.
They were up for it, though. The effort they showed at the last practice had been top-notch and she was looking forward to this next phase of their journey together. The finals were still a long way away, but they were in the zone and ready. She had faith in them and in herself, even though it was obviously taking a physical toll. She was exhausted and had been skipping workouts to get a little extra sleep. Gage kept her up late most nights, though, so that probably played a part in it, but stress undoubtedly had something to do with it, too. She normally thrived under pressure and promised herself she’d get a checkup as soon as the season was over, but for now, she was making sure to rest every chance she had.
“Hey.” Dani sank down next to her on the plane to Nashville.
“Hey.” Laurel paused the video she was watching on her laptop.
“I hate these flights. Anchorage is so fucking far from the rest of the country.”
“I know. I have a lot of respect for these guys making these long-ass trips.”
“It’s not so bad during the season. The league has really gone out of their way to make it easier on everyone. Usually we do a slow gradual bump east and the two trips where we had to go east in one flight, they made it so we played all the clustered teams in the northeast over the course of ten days, without air travel. It was all buses and it was nice. Same thing when we were in the southeast… Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, Nashville, Carolina.”
“Yeah, the playoffs are a different animal.” Laurel yawned.
“Looks like you’ve been staying up too late, girlfriend.”
Laurel chuckled. “We have a very healthy sex life, that’s for sure.”
“How’s it going overall?”
Laurel glanced around, but everyone seemed absorbed in whatever they were doing. “It’s still a big adjustment and it takes time to rebuild trust, you know?”
“You two need to spend some quality time together once the season is over.”
“For sure.”
“Do you think you’ll keep coaching? Next season?”
Laurel smiled. “Most likely not. I mean, the PR department hides a lot of it from me, but you have to remember that I know a lot of people around the league and a few of them have told me that the idea of a woman coach in the NHL isn’t popular among some of the old-school guys in the media and within the league itself. I didn’t think it would be permanent, which is why I’m doing my damnedest to leave my mark. If this is all I get, I’m going to make it last a lifetime.”
Dani blew out a breath. “Believe me, I know. I wish… Well, wishing doesn’t do anything. I guess all we can do is keep fighting for what we believe and showing them what we can do instead of trying to tell them.”
“Exactly.”
“Like winning a Stanley Cup?”
“Exactly like that.”
“Well, we’re going to have quite a bit of downtime in Nashville. Wanna go shopping?”
“You really like to shop.”
Dani cocked her head. “I do. I’ve never had money before, you know? I was a starving college student for six years and now I not only have a rich husband, I have a really good job and I’m making money of my own. And honestly, I’m usually too busy to shop. Mostly I just window-shop online. But I was thinking I need new lingerie. Sergei wants to make a baby this summer so…”
Laurel wrinkled her nose. “I want to say that’s too much information but after that last get-together…”
Dani giggled. “Well, yeah, I guess there is that. Sergei and I have never done anything like that.”
“No?”
“Remember, I haven’t been with anyone but Sergei.”
Laurel nodded. “Don’t tell anyone, but I’ve only ever been with Gage.”
“That’s so romantic.”
“I’d like to think so. I wish it was the same for him.”
“You were separated and divorced for a long time, right?”
“Years.”
“I get it. I sometimes get super jealous when I think about Sergei being in love with and marrying someone else. I mean, they made a baby together and she threw herself in front of a bullet to protect him.”
“Holy shit. I didn’t know that.”
“Not a lot of people do, but I have to remind myself that I didn’t kill her, obviously, and none of this was my fault. The fact that he can love me the way he does makes it even more special.”
“I haven’t said it yet,” Laurel blurted out.
“Said what? That you love him?”
“I’ve said it in conversation, like, ‘You’re the only man I’ve ever loved,’ but I haven’t said ‘I love you’ since we got back together.”
“Has he?”
“Yup.”
“So why haven’t you?”
“In some ways I don’t trust it, like I’m waiting for the other chip to fall.”
“Okay, that part is understandable, but what does saying those three words have to do with it? If he’s going to hurt you or you’re going to break up again, will not saying it make it hurt less?”
“I…” Laurel chewed her lip thoughtfully. “No, I guess not.”
“Be in the moment, girlfriend. Look at Sergei’s late wife—I’m pretty sure she had no idea she was going to die that day. I’m not trying to be morbid, but seize the moment, you know? You’ve lost so much time together already.”
“You’re right about that.”
“Okay, I’m going to go use my husband’s big broad shoulders for a nap. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay.” Laurel turned her video back on, but her mind was hundreds of miles away, home with Gage. He’d said it was better if he flew in later so he could get some work done, making her jealousy radar go off like crazy. But she’d reminded herself he’d done nothing to make her think there was another woman in his life and she needed to trust him. Even if she didn’t deep down, she had to try.
Gage got to New York late in the day and met with Carol and several other agents that were going to be part of the operation.
“There’s a gala at the Met,” Carol said. “You and I will go as a couple and—”
“Not happening,” Gage cut her off, shaking his head. “I’m in a relationship now. The Met is a high-profile location and the media will be there. There is no way I’m going to take a chance that Laurel sees us in the paper together. We need a plan B.”
Carol made a face. “Fuck, Gage. This is one of the worst terrorists in the world and you’re worried about your fucking girlfriend?”
Gage splayed his hands. “I resigned, in case you forgot. You want me on this op, it has to be my way.”
They glared at each other until one of the others cleared their throats. “I think it’s perfectly acceptable for two people to go as friends,” she said. “You can go together but no hand-holding or anything. It’ll be fine. The press tends to scope out the arrivals, red-carpet-type stuff.”
“I can keep my face averted,” Carol said quietly. “And I’ll make sure any body language is friendly, not intimate.”
Gage bit back a retort because Carol had always had a thing for him. They’d kept it professional but he saw it in the way she looked at him, especially when they were on ops together. It hadn’t happened often over the years since she was his handler and tended to oversee most of the operations from a central location, but often enough for him to sense her attraction. She was five years older than he was but she was in good shape and he probably would have been sleeping with her if there was any chance at all of them having a relationship. That had never been in the cards, though, so he stuck to one-night stands that wouldn’t bring complications to his life.
“All right, let’s get this party started.”
Gage nodded but his heart wasn’t in it. Something was off and he wasn’t sure what it was. Carol had been weirdly possessive the last few years and he’d always chalked it up to the crush she had on him. She’d been the one who recruited him into the agency, though, and he’d always trusted her implicitly. He didn’t know why he suddenly felt uncomfortable with her and part of it probably had to do with Laurel. Carol was the reason he’d become a spy, which meant she’d inadvertently been the reason he’d lost Laurel. Now that he had her back, he wanted a clean break from the one person it seemed could ruin everything.
Something told him it had everything to do with Laurel, though. Carol had never been clingy before, but now it seemed like she was coming up with ways to involve him in things. Stefan Havlek was a hot button to anyone in the espionage world because he was a terrorist that desperately needed to be caught. She knew that and was using it to lure him back, no matter how much she tried to deny it. The fact that Stefan hadn’t shown up at the senator’s party didn’t sit well with him and it occurred to him he needed to reach out to one of his other CIA friends sooner rather than later.
He’d fallen into his role as an out-in-the-open covert operative by accident and with each passing year, he’d become more and more isolated from other agents, even the agency itself. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been to CIA headquarters or on a mission with anyone but Carol, and that was something he needed to rectify soon. Sometime soon, he was going to make some calls and see what was going on. Besides, maybe it would be better to hand in his resignation in person, to make sure Carol couldn’t hold anything over his head anymore. Then it would really be over.
They arrived at the event in a rented limousine and Gage was glad to see a popular retired player from the Yankees arrive with his fiancée just ahead of them. The cameras were all turned in that direction so Gage and Carol made their way toward the entrance as inconspicuously as possible.
“Gage Caldwell, is that you?” A tall, lanky blonde in a tight-fitting dress that barely concealed anything called out to him and Gage had no choice but to turn.
“Hello, Mallory.”
“I can’t believe you’re here with someone else,” the blonde pouted. “You haven’t returned any of my calls.”
“Because we’ve been busy,” Carol said, leaning in to Gage but not actually touching him.
“Gage, can we get a picture of you and your date?”
“Oh, hell,” Gage muttered under his breath. Before he could say or do anything, Carol grabbed him and planted her lips on his, pulling him in for a deep, showy kiss. Gage groaned as flashbulbs went off all around them.