Writing Concisely

Removing Unnecessary Sentences

The GRE essay scorers will reward your effective expression of relevant ideas. Sentences that don’t say anything substantive or that repeat things you have already said detract from your essay. Plus, these sentences take time to write, and you want to make every one of your 30 minutes count. Therefore, follow these guidelines:

• Don’t write a sentence that strays from the thesis. Using Steps 1 through 3 of the Kaplan Method for Analytical Writing, you will plan your essay carefully. No matter how interesting the idea that just popped into your head is, if it does not fit in the plan for your essay, leave it out.
• Don’t ask a question only to answer it. Rhetorical questions just mean the reader has to spend more time getting to your point.
• Don’t merely copy the essay’s prompt. The essay graders will look for your thoughts in your words. When you refer to information or an idea in the prompt, paraphrasing it will demonstrate that you understand it whereas merely copying it leaves your understanding in doubt.
• Don’t write a whole sentence only to announce that you are changing the subject. You can signal a shift to another aspect of the topic or another point you want to make with a transitional word or phrase.

• WORDY: Which idea of the author’s is more in line with what I believe? This is a very interesting question. In fact, the author’s ideas about consciousness being a uniquely human attribute are similar to my own.
• CONCISE: Consciousness is a uniquely human attribute.

The author of the wordy example above is just wasting words and time. Get to the point quickly and stay there.

Removing Unnecessary Sentences Practice Set

Rewrite each pair of sentences as one concise statement.

1. What’s the purpose of getting rid of the chemical pollutants in water? People cannot safely consume water that contains chemical pollutants.

2. I do not believe it is necessary to include the telemetry data in this study. The telemetry data add little of value to the understanding of stellar drift.