Hannah stared at the blank screen of her laptop and felt Schrödinger curl around her legs under the kitchen table. The cat came to her side and she lifted him onto her lap. The cursor blinked at her.
‘I’ve got nothing,’ she told Schrödinger.
This was supposed to be for the memorial this evening for little unborn Rebecca, but Hannah couldn’t focus. She wanted to say something about their loss, but also about the need to be connected, something that addressed José’s mindset.
She nuzzled the cat. ‘What would the real Schrödinger have written, huh?’
Schrödinger dropped to the floor but stayed close. That cat missed Einstein more than anyone. Hannah had named them both as a joke, but now Einstein was dead and the joke wasn’t funny.
She got up and wandered downstairs to Indy at reception, heard the cat paw after her. ‘Hey, babes.’
‘Hey.’
Indy looked like a load had been lifted from her since her parents’ cremation. Her eyes shone, she seemed to have some of her old energy back. It was weird them still living here, Indy’s grandparents over in the Marchmont flat. Hannah thought about her dad and Sophia. This couldn’t go on forever. Ravi and Esha were due to fly back to Kolkata in three days’ time, but Hannah didn’t know if she and Indy would move back to the flat. She’d been scared to begin with that Craig was coming for her but it seemed that was a red herring, he was after his younger daughter, maybe because she was young enough not to realise what a bastard he was, could be moulded into a daughter who loved him, rather than one who wanted him dead.
No, Hannah didn’t want her father dead, despite everything, she just wanted him out of their lives, everything back to normal. But that was bullshit, there was no ‘normal’. Everyone has a sense that if they can just get on top of things, sort out the small irritations of life, they’ll reach some imaginary state where they never have a care. But we always have cares, from the cradle to the grave, so this stuff we’re going through, the stuff we need to get on top of, that’s life. We’re all just trying to stay alive for one more day.
The front door burst open and there was Fiona, breath ragged, hair a tangled mess, eyes wild.
‘Where’s Jenny?’ she said, staring from Hannah to Indy.
Schrödinger ducked behind reception.
‘What’s up?’ Hannah said.
Fiona used to be so together before all this, before her daughter went missing. It was no surprise she’d unravelled.
‘Is she here?’ Fiona said, eyes darting around.
‘She’s on a case.’ The last Hannah heard she was following up on Vanessa Chalmers, another slice of sadness.
Fiona’s eyes went wider. ‘She found out something about Sophia?’
Hannah shook her head. ‘I don’t think so.’
‘No one is trying, it’s a joke.’ Fiona sucked her teeth. ‘She’s my fucking daughter.’
‘I can’t imagine,’ Indy said, coming from behind the desk.
‘You can’t imagine,’ Fiona repeated under her breath. ‘Great.’
Hannah felt the distance between them, how we can never really understand what others are going through no matter how hard we try.
‘Well, I’ve done something,’ Fiona said quietly.
‘What do you mean?’ Hannah said.
Fiona fixed her gaze on her. ‘The police interviewed those three suspects, right? It has to be one of them, that’s why Craig sent the message.’
‘We don’t know for sure Dad sent the message.’
Fiona scowled. ‘Fuck’s sake, of course it was him. The police are all about procedure but that’s not how you get things done.’
Indy approached Fiona. ‘Try to stay calm.’
Fiona turned to her. ‘Fuck calm. I’ve taken action.’
‘What do you mean?’ Indy said.
Hannah frowned. ‘Fiona, what have you done?’
Fiona smiled and walked out of the house. Hannah and Indy glanced at each other and followed. Her car was parked at an angle, skid marks in the gravel. She went to the back of the car and popped the boot.
Hannah came round and saw inside just as she heard a muffled moan. It was the German guy, Karl, the one Mum spoke to in North Berwick, she’d seen his picture on the whiteboard upstairs. His hands were tied with plastic restraints, mouth covered in duct tape, and he’d pissed himself.
‘What the hell?’
Fiona touched her hair like it was electric. ‘It was the only way.’
Indy was already on her phone.
‘What are you doing?’ Fiona said.
‘Calling the police.’
‘The police are bullshit.’ Fiona pointed at Karl whimpering in the boot. ‘This is the only way.’
She pulled a kitchen knife from her handbag and approached Karl, who whined like a beaten dog.
‘Fiona, this is insane,’ Hannah said.
‘I’m sure he knows something.’
She stood over him as he scrambled to the rear of the boot, hunched over and crying.
Indy was making the call.
Hannah stepped up and stood between Fiona and the car, felt the knife blade brush her hand.
Fiona was shaking, neck muscles strained. ‘I need to find my fucking daughter.’
Hannah put a hand on Fiona’s shoulder and felt her shiver.
‘You’ll be arrested,’ she said. ‘If you end up in jail, what’ll happen when they find Sophia? Do you want her to grow up without her mum?’
Fiona hesitated, eyes on Karl in the boot. He had snot running over the duct tape, tears on his cheeks.
Hannah kept staring at Fiona.
Fiona looked from the boot to Hannah.
‘It’s only a matter of time until we find her,’ Hannah said. ‘You have to be strong.’
Fiona swallowed heavily. ‘You honestly think we’ll find her?’
Hannah put a hand on her heart. ‘I promise. But not like this.’
Fiona stood for a long time, looked at Hannah, looked at Karl squirming in the boot, looked at Indy. She’d paused the phone call, waiting to see how this would pan out. Finally Fiona looked at the knife in her trembling hand. She dropped it with a crunch on the gravel, then covered her face with her hands and sobbed her heart out.