Till Death Do Us Part
As we wrap up our discussion of marriage, I want to leave you with an image from my stepdad’s funeral. I promise you it’s not as bleak as it sounds. In fact, it’s one of the most beautiful pictures of marriage I’ve ever seen.
As I shared earlier, my biological father passed away from heart disease when I was six years old. My brother was three and a half at the time, and he and I grew up in a single-parent home with our mom. A few years later, our mom remarried, and we became a stepfamily.
My stepdad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a few years before he died. I’m not going to sugarcoat it—as many of you know, Alzheimer’s is a terrible disease. It’s horrible for the individual and brutal on the family and loved ones. Over the years, we watched my stepdad progressively decline in verbal and cognitive function. The disease process became a huge challenge to my mom, as she had to make many sacrifices to care for him. She couldn’t travel or even leave the house without bringing my stepdad. He needed around-the-clock care and supervision. My mom cooked every meal, drove everywhere they went together, and made sure he took his pills. She changed his diaper and cleaned him up after he made a mess of himself. Even though she grew weary at times, she still sacrificially cared for and supported him.
I watched as my mom loved my stepdad all the way until the day he died. Their marriage was far from perfect, but they loved each other until the end. My stepdad’s funeral was one long testimony to my mom’s love for him. That’s the kind of marriage I want to build with my wife and the lifelong love I want for our lives.
A Reflection of God’s Love for Us
As I reflect on how my mom loved my stepdad selflessly and sacrificially, I can’t help but think of the ways God loves us. His love for us is the perfect model for how to love without expecting anything in return. The Lord knows we can never repay Him or show Him the proper gratitude for His many gifts. Thankfully, His love is not contingent upon our proper or worthy response.
I’m thankful for all the marriage books I’ve read and married couples I’ve learned from over the years. Yet the best picture of love I have ever seen was the way my mom loved my stepdad during the last years of his life. It’s the type of unconditional, sacrificial love I hope to live out in the ways I care for and serve Kristen.
I hope that you won’t have to walk through the same circumstances as my mom and stepdad did. But there will still be many ways for you to love and serve your spouse in practical ways. If you have a baby, you can be the one to take the lead in changing her diapers. If you have a toddler who cries at 3:00 a.m., you can be the one to console him. Or maybe it’s as simple as finding out the chores your spouse dislikes and doing them with a joyful and content heart.
I am confident that if you apply the truths my friends and I have shared in this book, then you and your significant other will be ready for marriage. We are cheering you on as you say “I do” and tie that knot!