The jacket. He knew he had to get the jacket. He knew where it was, exactly where he had left it. He also knew that what he didn’t want was to walk straight into Justin…But what would Justin be doing in the back of the garage anyway? It was only full of rubbish and it wasn’t as if you could get a car in there.
‘That jacket is mine and I need to get it,’ Jake told himself over and over.
‘And I need to get it before one of them finds it and throws it out with the rest of the rubbish.’ He was never one for lucky charms as such, but he had a special thing about his old army jacket… That, the small faded photograph of Vicky and the small silver heart… those three things were all he needed before he went out on his journey. The picture and the heart were safe, but now Jake had to go to the house and get his jacket without being seen. He knew he only needed to ask for it and there would be no problem, but he just didn’t want to see them together if it could be avoided. No, it was far easier to just go and lift it. Christ, if he didn’t have the ability to carry out this small task, what chance would he have surviving going back to work?
The clock in his bed-sit said 12.30 a.m. It was time to leave. Jake felt nothing as he made his way towards the house he had shared with Vicky for the past eighteen months… eighteen months that had passed so very quickly. The village was deserted as he turned off the main road and dropped behind the row of houses that ended at the lane leading to No.32 Rosewood Avenue. Jake felt his pace drop involuntarily as he heard the stones crunch underfoot. The noise was made louder by the close proximity of the trees that ran either side of the small, single-track road. The night sky was clear and the full moon lit up the whole scene before him. Slowly making his way towards the house, he turned left and pushed his way through the trees and into cover. Although he couldn’t see it yet, he knew it was only 100 metres directly ahead. Hopefully the first thing he would see would be the back of the garage with the rear window facing him, although even if the garage door was locked, it would offer no resistance, considering the condition of the old corroded lock. Shit!!! He lifted his head as he broke through the bushes and stood bolt upright inside the garden, with the house twenty-five paces directly in front of him; the garage was to his right. He froze completely. All the lights in the house were off. He’d fucked up here, big time. He thought he’d known this place. Jake felt something grab at his insides. He glanced quickly left and right, there was nothing moving anywhere and no sound. Very slowly and carefully, he picked his way towards the back of the garage. Two cars stood in the driveway, so he knew inside the garage would be empty. He quickly disappeared into the shadows behind the small building. As the house slid from view he felt himself relax slightly and he exhaled very, very quietly. He stood inside the shadows for a few minutes, gathering himself; eventually, Jake nervously placed his hand on the window. He would be in and out in three minutes… No problem.
He made no sound entering through the window and dropped silently onto the concrete floor. He glanced all round… It was a place he knew well, but a place he never thought he would ever have to sneak into. He lifted the Barbour jacket from the peg on the back wall to reveal his trusty old friend… An old friend that had helped him survive many a cold wet night in times gone by. It was an old Belgian army jacket. Plain green good insulation with zipped pockets and a large plastic zip up the front. He’d had it tailored and knew even after all this time it would still fit like a glove. Slowly Jake removed it and held it to his face; a damp musty smell filled his nostrils but it didn’t matter one little bit… It felt good to have it back in his hands. It had been in here far too long. As Jake’s eyes gradually became accustomed to the dark he turned and surveyed what lay before him. Within a few moments he realised that almost everything in there had either been bought by Vicky and him or used by them at one time or another. There was almost no light coming in through the small window, but what there was only added to the very surreal feelings running through his head. Slowly he picked his way round, examining everything that held a memory for him. He rubbed his hand over the portable barbecue, remembering how he had burned the sausages and she had told him off - big time! Jake could hear her telling him, that’s it; I’m not letting you near this again… ever! Little did she realise that he had meant to burn the food, in order to sit and watch her do what she did best - organise everything… Christ, she was good at it.
What had seemed like only a few minutes had in fact turned out to be a little over an hour, and for a short time it had felt like he was back home, where he felt he belonged. It was almost 2.15 a.m. when Jake closed the small window behind him and dropped silently onto the ground behind the garage. He stood motionless at the corner, looking at the house…
There was no sound to be heard anywhere. Suddenly he had the feeling that the world had somehow stopped. For the briefest of moments he couldn’t even hear his own heartbeat or feel his own breath. His eyes drifted upwards and fixed themselves on the bedroom window, knowing that only a few metres away the beauty who had been his whole life was lying beside her new lover. Jake suddenly felt physically sick… She was up there with someone else; she was so close that he could actually sense her very being. Jake could feel her presence but there was not a thing he could do… He felt almost paralysed and so very, very lost.
How long he stood there he had no idea, how he had got back and the route he had taken were a complete mystery. All he knew was that he got back just after 3 a.m. Jake was still in a daze when he turned the light on in his small bed-sit. He began to feel slightly more relaxed; the night was without the bitter cold that was usual for this time of year and he was looking forward to getting started at first light. It was a relief to get his head onto the pillow, but sleep didn’t come easily. Jake lay awake most of the night and his thoughts inevitably drifted to Vicky. What would she be doing right now? Jake looked at the clock, the numbers said 3.45. Would they be making love? He curled up into a ball and tried so very hard to make the hurt go away… It didn’t. He curled up even tighter and, just after 5 a.m., he eventually drifted off into an uncomfortable sleep.