To assist parents/caregivers in family therapy with bonding with their kids no matter what age
Fill out the following worksheet with the client to help them develop and strengthen their bond with their child.
1. I Love You
Tell your child daily that you love him or her—no matter his or her age. Even on trying days or after a parent–child disagreement, when you don’t exactly “like” your child at that moment, it is more important than ever to express your love. A simple “I love you” goes a long way toward developing and then strengthening a relationship.
These are the times of day I will tell my child I love them (e.g., before he or she leaves for school, when he or she comes home, and before bed): ______________________________________
2. Teach Your Values and Beliefs
Tell your child what you believe and why. Allow time for your child to ask questions and answer them honestly. Reinforce these teachings often.
The following are my basic values and beliefs: ______________________________________
3. Create a Special Name Or Code Word
Create a special name for your child or a secret code word with your child that is positive and special that you can use between each other. Use this name as a simple reinforcement of your love. The code word can be established to have special meaning between your child and you that only you two understand.
Our secret code word is ______________________________________
4. A Special Bedtime Ritual
For younger children, reading a favorite bedtime book or telling stories is a ritual that will be remembered most likely throughout their life. It’s key to have a ritual with teens, too!
Our bedtime ritual is ______________________________________
5. Let Your Children Help You
Parents sometimes inadvertently miss out on opportunities to forge closer relationships by not allowing their child to help them with various tasks and chores. Be prepared if they say no. Not the same as the nonnegotiable chore that’s been assigned to them.
I ask my children to help me with the following ______________________________________.
6. Play with Your Child
The key is to really play with your child. You really are your child’s favorite toy! Ask him or her, “Can I play with you?” “Want to play a video game?” or “Want to play a game of Uno?”
I will ask my child to play with me during these times of the day ______________________________________
7. Eat Meals as a Family
Families who eat together have better relationships. It gives you a forum for conversation. Be careful to be positive at dinner time. It’s not the time for discipline
Our family will eat the following meals together: ______________________________________
8. Seek Out One-On-One Opportunities Often
Make time to spend one-on-one time with your child; if you have more than one child, allot time to spend with each. Even if it’s just for 30 minutes, it counts. You could do an outing two times a month with just one of your children.
I will spend one on one time with each of my children in this way: ______________________________________
9. Respect Your Child’s Choices
Let your child dress him- or herself, and let your child be creative with his or her hairstyle and choices of colors as long as it is appropriate. It does not reflect on you if your child is wearing plaid and stripes. In fact, you might be raising a creative designer!
I will respect my child in the following ways: ______________________________________
10. Make Them Number One
Even when your life is stressed out make sure that you do steps 1 through 9. You are creating memories with your child, and who doesn’t want to look back on his or her childhood and know how loved and important he or she was to his or her parents?
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