Spring 2010.
Hilary, Frances.
Hilary is changing in an adjacent room.
Frances is dancing and finding songs on the iPod.
Hilary comes in, wearing a dressing gown.
Hilary I haven’t had a ‘visitor’ for four months.
What happens now?
Frances I get myself a glass.
Hilary Is my cunt going to dry up?
Frances Wait till I get a drink down me, for God’s sake.
Hilary It doesn’t seem that long ago I got my first period. That smear in the crotch of your pants. I ran in to my mother, I said ‘I’ve become a woman.’ She looked at me like I was insane. She took me to the bathroom and showed me where she kept her ‘towels’.
Like I was being inducted into a cult.
Frances What did you do for Tilly?
Hilary I gave her a Topshop voucher. She didn’t want a fuss.
I’ve hit a low point.
I’ve let go of too many things at once. Periods, job’s on the line, Mark.
Frances In that order? It’s not very flattering to Mark, is it?
Hilary It’ll be Tilly next, then I’ll be alone. I’m not sure I want to do this.
Frances It’ll cheer you up. Go on.
She ushers Hilary into adjacent room.
There was a picture of Kim Cattrall in the papers the other day, a full body shot and then a close-up of her chin, she has a sagging chin and it said – even Kim cannot fight off the advancing years.
Hilary (off) Sexist tossers.
Frances And then I got to thinking. She’s got the money – why doesn’t she sort it out?
Hilary (off) So would you?
Frances Definitely.
Hilary (off) You could die. Under the knife. Like that woman that wrote The First Wives Club, Olivia … She was having her chin done. Maybe, you know, Kim wants to live.
Frances Come on. Let’s have a look.
Hilary enters. Burlesque costume.
Hilary I don’t like it.
Frances Therapy.
Hilary It’s not working for me.
Frances Performing is a powerful place to be.
Hilary I just can’t see myself doing it.
Frances Amateur night. You needed something. You were a mess. This is my suggestion. Please take it seriously.
We’ll find you some music. You acted at university.
Hilary The Duchess of Malfi.
Music: Helen Reddy’s ‘I Am Woman’.
What is that? Post-feminist irony?
Frances Try the moves. (Giving advice.) Stick out your arse more. Try being suggestive with the duster.
I’ve just about forgiven you for the Roland thing.
Frances I was in there with a chance. We had so much in common.
Hilary You weren’t in there with a chance.
Frances Well, you would say that, that’s your moral justification.
Hilary Nothing’s happened, after that one time, he’s all talk.
She breaks off.
It’s making me want to cry.
Frances You liked my routine.
Hilary That thing you did in Norfolk? I was uncertain.
Frances And how’s Mark?
Hilary Well, he’s still living above the shop.
Frances Basically you’ve got two men sniffing around you and you’re at my throat for considering a facial procedure. How unsympathetic.
Hilary Don’t let’s do this. Don’t let’s argue. Then we don’t speak for weeks and one of us has to pick up the phone and eat dirt.
Frances I blame our mothers.
Hilary What for?
Frances That thing yours said to you.
Hilary What?
Frances She got pregnant with you and so she had to marry –
Hilary Before the pill it was a nightmare – imagine, medieval.
Frances Still a cow. Told you you’d ruined her life. Said that in cold blood.
Don’t know why you stood there and took it.
Hilary She’s my mother, what could I do? Terminate the friendship?
Frances They gave us their love with a nip of poison. No wonder we hate ourselves, hate women.
Hilary We don’t. I’ve changed the whole dynamic with Tilly.
Frances Yeah.
Hilary What?
Frances Like I’ve noticed how amazingly you get on.
Hilary This isn’t working for me. It feels like a step back.
Frances I knew you were going to say that.
Hilary It’s posh people’s lap dancing. When we were at Greenham Common –
Frances We did a few day trips. Let’s be clear – we weren’t really a part of –
Hilary Because we were students. But we were part of – something bigger.
Didn’t you feel –
Powerful? Kids’ clothes sewn on to the fences.
Frances Thirty years ago. Your point is?
Hilary We should be living those ideas.
I don’t know if I have lived them.
Frances You’re so sentimental. Grow up.
Hilary The practical thing of life is more tricky. But if you take the politics out, what’s left?
Frances The interesting stuff.
Tilly enters.
Hilary Tilly. You’re back early!
Tilly Yeah.
(Refers to her costume.) That’s sad.
Hilary Yes, it is. You’ve let yourself down, Frances, I’m not joining you.
Frances I haven’t got time for this.
Hilary I won’t become a ‘fuck-me puppet’.
Frances I’m ironically deconstructing it.
Hilary I’m worth more than that. We are, Tilly. I’m just going to –
She exits to change.
Frances (calls) I won’t be the one phoning you. Bye, Tilly.
Tilly Has she gone mental-pausal?
Frances Probably.
Frances exits.
Hilary comes back with dressing gown.
Hilary (sees Frances has gone) Oh God. (To Tilly.) Everything OK?
Tilly Yeah.
It was boring. Just round someone’s house. Wanna watch TV?
Hilary What are we going to watch then?
Tilly switches on TV.
We can have a cuddle.
Tilly sits obligingly and unusually next to Hilary.
This is nice. (Refers to Tilly’s programme choice.) Not Half Ton Teen!
Unbelievably gross and voyeuristic.
Tilly Makes me feel better.
Hilary You have a beautiful body. Just enjoy it – before –
Tilly What?
Hilary Nothing.
Tilly I’m not looking forward to vagina neck.
Hilary What?
Tilly shows Hilary what she means.
Please. Really. That is – no no. God. Vagina neck. That’s hateful, can’t you see that?
Pause.
Tilly On Facebook.
Hilary What? On Facebook – what?
Tilly There’s stuff posted about me.
Hilary What?
Tilly Facebook-slut stuff. Because –
Hilary Oh no. No. Sweetheart.
She hugs her. Tilly lets her.
We’ll get it taken off. Can you do that?
Continues to hug her.
It’s not the boys that get called that stuff. You see how it works.
Pause.
I think you didn’t really want to do it.
You were feeling rejected and you were reasserting yourself by saying ‘I’m sexy, I’m desirable’, but we add up to more than ‘being sexy’.
People can be happy with vagina neck! We don’t have to be fucked by a man to be human.
Tilly You’re making me feel shit.
Hilary Sorry, love. Think next time: ‘Is this what I want? Or is it because I want to be wanted, to feel my existence is validated?’
Tilly What? Like I’m going to think shit like that.
Hilary Do you know what validated means? It –
Tilly My period’s late.