14

When I get home, Nainai flashes her brows at me inquisitively, but I turn away without saying anything. I don’t know what to think. In less than a week, I finished my first year of college, my brother killed himself, my parents have fallen apart, I’ve accepted a low-paying job, and now I have a proposal of marriage. I’m bewildered. My mind can’t grasp it all. All the things Gilbert said were completely sensible, but the idea of getting married when we haven’t even really been a couple—I can hardly digest it.

Still, it’s nice to be wanted. And Gilbert is a good guy. I want to hold this close for a while, even though Nainai obviously knows.

The very next day, Gilbert’s grandma is sweeping past the doorway quilt and calling out for Nainai. My stomach drops. Nainai’s gone to the market, but Baba is sitting in Nainai’s padded chair in the back shadows of the room, smoking and nursing a cup of tea.

She sees me first, moves inside, and clasps my hands, squeezing them with eager little pulses. A broad smile lights her face.

“Hello!” Baba calls out to Gilbert’s grandma in an overly loud voice. He puts the tea down on the floor and starts to stand.

Gilbert’s grandma releases my hands and rushes over to Baba. “Don’t get up!” Her face clouds with concern as she urges him to sit. “You’ve had a horrible shock! Aiyo!”

Baba drops back into his seat while Gilbert’s grandma takes a stool from the table and moves to sit in front of him. Her face twists in sympathy, and she sways her head, making compassionate clucks. “I don’t know about young people these days. The bitterness you’ve eaten for your boy. And he does this!”

Baba woke this morning with a numb look, the best I can hope for these days, but now his expression begins to grow long.

“But you still have Na, ennh?” Gilbert’s grandma charges on. “Otherwise you’d be a shidu parent, with no one to take care of you in your old age.”

Baba’s mouth trembles as he sucks on his cigarette. His gloom seems to be building, so I rush to make a clatter with some mugs and ask Gilbert’s grandma, “Have you eaten?”

“Yes.” Gilbert’s grandma jumps up and comes toward me. “Don’t bother.” She gestures at the tea. “I just couldn’t wait any longer to come over.” She is back to beaming at me so hard, my face warms. “Gilbert says the proposal went well.”

I really blush now. I glance at Baba because I haven’t said anything to him. Gilbert’s grandma catches the look. “But you haven’t told him?”

“Told me what?”

Gilbert’s grandma wheels around. “Such good news! It’s time for Huan to get married, and he’s asked Na!”

“What?” Baba bolts upright in his seat. “What’s this?” The stub of his cigarette slips out of his fingers and falls to the floor, still glowing red at the tip.

“Yes. Just yesterday!” Gilbert’s grandma steps over and stamps out the butt. “You know he finished college and has gotten a good position not far from here. They can live with me here in the village!”

A look of utter surprise is on Baba’s face. “Na?”

“Yes, he’s just asked me,” I say helplessly. “Nothing’s been decided!”

Baba and Gilbert’s grandma look at each other. Baba has forgotten his misery for the moment, and Gilbert’s grandma looks smug with her eyebrows raised high on her forehead. She nods indulgently at me before turning back to Baba. “It’s fortunate you decided she should quit school. It’s better to marry well than study well. A little education helps, but now the girls get ambitious about their education and careers and wait too long to get married and have children.”

Baba pulls a face. “But if I remember, you all were the ones who pushed us to send her to school.” There’s a touch of reproach in his voice.

“Yes, yes! But you see how going to the same school has developed their friendship!” She rocks back on the heels of her plastic slippers with her hands clasped at her middle, clearly pleased with herself.

Baba turns to me and sighs, “Having a daughter is like spilled water.”

“Not this time!” Gilbert’s grandma says. “She’ll be living right here at home with us. She can come over here and help your ma when you go back to work.”

“And Huan—this means he won’t be a bare branch, eh?” Baba remarks.

Gilbert’s grandma doesn’t seem to notice that Baba is being snide. “Isn’t this the perfect kind of marriage? Matching doors and matching windows. Two people from the same background, and from the same village—it couldn’t be more fortunate.”

I feel both self-conscious and strangely absent as they talk. Baba peers at me, as if he sees me in a new way, while Gilbert’s grandma eyes me like the perfectly ripe fruit ready to be plucked from a tree. I suddenly wonder if Gilbert even actually wants to marry me. He didn’t say anything about love.

When Gilbert’s grandma is ready to leave, Baba gets up and follows her to the door. The sun beats down on his face as he watches her cross the courtyard. When she’s out of sight, he turns to me, still regarding me with that changed look. He slowly begins to nod. “It would be a good thing. Yes, really, the best thing for us.”