In the last weeks before Christmas, Kowalski’s was busier than I have ever seen it. Our floristry graduates’ help was invaluable, not least because it meant Ed and I could focus on the last event of the year—but by far the biggest: Mimi Sutton’s Grand Winter Ball. Though both of us were a little apprehensive about the job, we had meticulously prepared everything well in advance, doing as much of the structural stuff as we could before the day of the event.
Quicker than we would have liked, the big day arrived and Ed and I packed the van to take everything to the venue. It was just before 7 a.m. and the pale winter sun was barely breaking the horizon when we pulled up at the rear entrance to The Illustrian, a large hotel just off Broadway. The owners had recently renovated the ornate Victorian ballroom and this was to be the setting for Mimi Sutton’s pièce de résistance. An enormous room on two levels, with an elaborate staircase rising magnificently from the polished marble floor, the location was breathtaking.
Our footsteps echoed conspicuously as we hurried across the ballroom carrying our boxes. It was difficult not to be overawed by the place, and Ed sensed my trepidation at the task ahead.
‘Hey, boss, it’s going to be great,’ he assured me.
I laughed nervously. ‘I know. We’re fine.’
At eight thirty, Marnie and the grads arrived, shattering the relative calm of the place with their excited exclamations over the work Ed and I had already completed. The staircase was now adorned in swathes of green garlands with white roses, carnations and tiny fairy lights woven through them. I had to admit that the overall effect was stunning and, as a centrepiece, it would take some beating. Having assigned various tasks to my team, I grabbed my camera and began to take pictures of the staircase. Twisting round to focus on Ed’s structural masterpieces gracing the pillars at the entrance to the ballroom, I suddenly caught sight of a familiar figure walking casually towards me.
‘Hey, Rosie.’
‘Nate, long time no see, eh?’ Ed replied, quickly appearing at my side. ‘We had you down as Missing in Action.’
Nate rubbed the back of his neck and looked sheepish. ‘Yeah, well, I was, in a way.’
Ed wasn’t finished and I sensed a steely attack thinly disguised beneath his humour. ‘So you thought you’d just show up and say hi, then?’
‘Ed,’ I cut in quickly, ‘can you start the grads on the window displays, please? I’m a little concerned that Jocelyn and Brady may go a bit gung-ho with the foliage.’
He observed me carefully. ‘Sure,’ he replied, shooting a warning stare at Nate before he left.
Nate frowned as he watched Ed walk away. ‘I take it I’m not his favourite person right now.’
I shook my head and smiled, trying to look unconcerned. ‘He’s fine, just a little edgy with the event and everything.’
‘He’s very protective of you.’
‘Yes, he is. But we all look out for each other. Good team spirit, that’s all. Just the Kowalski’s family sticking together. Besides, I think we’re going to need it today.’
Nate nodded and looked round at the room. ‘It’s a great space,’ he smiled, ‘and the perfect place to showcase Kowalski’s work.’
‘It is pretty special,’ I agreed. ‘It’s—’
‘I should have come to see you,’ he blurted out suddenly, bringing his eyes back to mine, waiting for my reaction. ‘I’m sorry, Rosie. Can we—uh—can we go somewhere? Grab a coffee, maybe?’
My heart had begun to race and I suddenly felt too warm. ‘There’s quite a lot to do here and—and I’m not sure the team would be too happy with my leaving them.’ I glanced over at Ed, Marnie and the grads, catching Ed watching us.
Nate seemed to be thinking about something, keeping his gaze firmly fixed on me. Then, as if a silent decision had been made, he reached out and squeezed my arm, nodding at me. ‘Stay there, OK?’
Taken aback, I nodded dumbly. He walked purposely over to my team and said something to Ed. Marnie caught my eye as Ed and Nate walked to one side and appeared to be deep in conversation. A big part of me didn’t want to watch them, didn’t want to know what they were discussing, so for a while I tried to avert my attention to the team, the other arrangements, the ceiling—anything rather than look at my two friends.
I was about to look back when a loud voice shattered the relative silence of the room and stole my attention. Mimi Sutton had arrived in a flurry of silk and chiffon.
‘There she is—the woman everyone’s talking about!’
I smiled weakly as she approached me. Her smile was all benevolence as she held out her immaculately manicured hand, almost as if bestowing some great honour on me by doing so.
‘This is simply perfect,’ she smoothed, casting her eye round the room too fast to actually see anything but enough to give the appearance of interest. ‘I knew you could deliver.’ Her eye caught sight of Nate, still locked in conversation with Ed and apparently unaware of her arrival. I saw her smile tighten and she looked back at me. ‘Could I steal a few moments of your time, perhaps? There are just one or two things I need to clear up before this evening. Minor points, dear, nothing to worry about. Is that possible?’
There was something in the lightness of her voice that struck an uneasy chord inside me, but I had no reason to refuse. ‘Of course. Would you like to meet my team?’
‘Perhaps later. I’d like to see the staircase garlands in greater detail,’ she stated, taking hold of my arm a little too firmly and propelling me at a considerable speed across the ballroom floor.
When we reached the staircase, she relinquished her grip and began to inspect the flowers and foliage adorning the banister with red-taloned fingers. ‘Excellent, excellent.’
‘I’m really pleased with the result,’ I said, as calmly as I could, pushing the nauseating ball of concern to the pit of my stomach. ‘It’s by far the biggest centrepiece Kowalski’s has done—’
‘Why is he here?’ Mimi snapped, her face still a picture of grace and favour and her eyes fixed on the arrangement in front of her.
‘S-sorry, who?’
‘Nathaniel.’
‘I—um—I’ve no idea.’
‘Don’t play the innocent with me, Ms Duncan,’ Mimi retorted, a scarily cold edge appearing in her voice. ‘I am too busy to play games with you.’
‘Mimi, I honestly don’t know why he’s here,’ I replied, beginning to feel annoyed at her tone. ‘He’s only just arrived and it seems he wants to talk to my co-designer.’
‘Nonsense. He came to see you and you know it. I’m not entirely sure what his relationship with you is, but I do know his relationship with my daughter.’
‘With respect, I fail to see how my friendship with Nate is relevant—’
‘It’s all relevant, Ms Duncan. The happiness of my daughter is my greatest concern. You are threatening that.’
‘Sorry?’
Mimi’s eyes shot to mine, a nasty purpose igniting her glare. ‘Nathaniel Amie will never make a decision on his own. He is too casual for his own good with that lackadaisical attitude to life. Caitlin cannot—and will not—wait around for him for ever. He appeared to be finally reaching a decision about their future—until you came along.’
My pulse was thudding at my temples and I had to fight to retain my composure. ‘Nate is my friend, Mimi. Nothing more.’
‘Since he met you, Ms Duncan, he has been more quarrelsome with Caitlin, less co-operative and more inclined to delay what will be an inevitable culmination of their courtship,’ Mimi snarled through gritted teeth. ‘Caitlin has forbidden him to mention your name in her presence because it causes so much conflict.’
I wasn’t quite sure how to take this information. Nate’s relationship with his alleged fiancée remained much of a mystery to me, even after all our conversations; but to hear that they were arguing because of me was intriguing. ‘Forgive me, I don’t know what you want me to say.’
‘It’s quite simple really. I want you to tell me you’ll stay away from Nathaniel.’
‘I haven’t been pursuing him,’ I replied, folding my arms protectively across my body, ‘and I have no intention of being the cause of conflict for anyone. If Nate decides to visit my shop—which he frequently does in order to buy flowers for your daughter—then I can’t be held responsible.’
Mimi’s eyes burned as she leaned closer to me. ‘Be very careful, Rosie. Do not mess with situations you cannot possibly hope to understand.’
‘So, Mimi, how do you like the work here so far?’ breezed Nate as he suddenly appeared beside us. Mimi’s smile returned and she embraced him for three melodramatic air kisses.
‘Nathaniel, what a surprise. Are you looking for me?’
‘Mimi, even though being in your company is always a joy, I’m afraid I’m here on business.’
Mimi’s expression clouded. ‘Oh? Is it the amendments for the book, darling? Only—as you can see—my head is full of the event today.’
Nate shook his head and took a step forward, placing himself between Mimi and me. ‘I wouldn’t dream of discussing those with you today of all days,’ he grinned. ‘I’m here to see Rosie.’
Mimi’s smile began to strain at the edges. ‘Oh? I’m afraid Ms Duncan is incredibly busy with her own masterpiece right now. Can it not wait?’
‘I’m afraid it can’t. I’m here to persuade her to write a book.’
‘And this conversation couldn’t happen—say—next week?’
‘Regrettably not. I, as you well know, will be visiting my parents for the holidays, so I need to clear up my commission roster before the end of the year. It’ll only take thirty minutes—an hour at most. I’ve spoken to Mr Steinmann and he assures me the team can spare her for that time.’
I glanced over at Ed and caught his eye. He raised an eyebrow and gave a vague smile. I knew he must be dying to know what the conversation was about.
‘So, Rosie, shall we?’
‘I can’t spare her,’ Mimi blurted out, the immaculate composure momentarily broken. ‘We have things to discuss.’
Nate’s hand rested gently on the small of my back, turning me away from the seething Mimi. ‘Then discuss them with Ed,’ he replied lightly. ‘See you later, Mimi.’
With that, he picked up the pace and we walked briskly out of the ballroom, through the foyer and out onto the street.
I couldn’t help smiling at Nate as we walked round the corner and into a small coffee house—not least because the warmth of his hand was still present at my back. I tried to gauge his expression, but it was impossible; I couldn’t tell whether the exchange had amused him, annoyed him or something else. We found a table at the back of the café and sat down. Nate grinned at me, but I noticed his chest rising and falling faster than normal. He rubbed a hand across his forehead and picked up a menu absent-mindedly.
‘A book?’ I questioned. ‘What book?’
‘Flowers and their importance in modern city life,’ Nate replied, as quick as a flash. ‘We’ve been in discussions about it for months—don’t you remember?’
‘Ah, so all those visits to my shop were just—’
‘Business,’ he grinned, as a young Eastern European waitress arrived to take our order. ‘Just a straight Americano for me. Rosie?’
‘Tall skinny decaf latte, please.’
The waitress left. A small irritable question mark lit up in one corner of my mind. Is he just using you, Rosie Duncan? I decided to address it straight away: the last thing I needed today was unnecessary emotional quandaries. ‘I take it you were joking just now—about the book, I mean?’
I looked away, suddenly embarrassed by my question. ‘Nothing. Forget it.’
‘You think I care about business when I can talk to you? Oh, Rosie, of course I was joking! Look, I needed an excuse to see you and I was pretty sure Mimi wouldn’t have let you go unless I had a good reason for us to talk. Whatever else she disregards, she can’t dispute the importance of business.’ Nate’s hand reached across the table and took mine gently. ‘I just wanted the opportunity to explain.’
‘You don’t need to explain anything,’ I began, but he wasn’t finished.
‘Yes, I do. I just felt so bad about the whole David thing. You have to believe me, Rosie, I didn’t have a clue you guys knew each other.’
‘You couldn’t have known. And anyway, it doesn’t matter. I’ve spoken with him since and made my position quite clear.’
‘Yeah, so did I,’ Nate admitted sheepishly.
‘I know.’
His eyes widened. ‘Did he tell you that I hit him?’
I nodded. ‘But I knew before. My best friend is a journalist, remember.’
He laughed and shook his head. ‘Ah.’
‘Indeed. Don’t feel bad, Nate. None of it was your fault. I just hope I haven’t caused problems for you and Caitlin.’
He frowned and his hand fell away from mine. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Just something Mimi said.’
Instantly, I knew I shouldn’t have mentioned it. Nate’s eyes said it all. I quickly tried to backtrack, cracking a joke about the menu that bombed immediately. Nate’s attention was elsewhere. Our coffee arrived and still he didn’t say anything. I half wondered if I should just leave him there until, finally, he spoke.
‘What did she say?’ he asked quietly.
I took a breath. ‘That you and Caitlin have been arguing. She thinks it’s because we’re friends.’
Nate let out a long sigh. ‘She is way off the mark.’
I wanted to reassure him. ‘Look, Nate, it’s fine, OK? You and Caitlin have your relationship to think of. I don’t want our friendship to jeopardise that. You’re getting married, and—’
‘Caitlin isn’t my fiancée.’
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Had they broken up? ‘Sorry?’
‘At least, she shouldn’t be. Hell, this is such a mess.’
Feeling my heart sinking, I wasn’t sure what to say next. But looking at the vulnerability in his expression, I felt I had to say something. ‘I don’t understand, Nate. Did you propose to Caitlin or not?’
His eyes dropped to the table and he let go of my hand. ‘Yes, I did. Kind of. But it was only because I was pressured into it. The moment I said the words it didn’t feel right but—I don’t know—I couldn’t stop it. It was, you know, out there.’
‘Nate, I…’
He looked up again. ‘The point is, I still don’t know how I feel about her, Rosie. I need more time…I don’t feel ready to commit—well, not to Caitlin, anyhow. I don’t know, Rosie. It’s like I become a different person—like I’m schizophrenic or something. One minute I’m pretty sure of myself, you know, happy, content with my life, and then—then I’m with Caitlin and suddenly I don’t know the man who’s standing by her side. I want to be the person I am when—when I’m here, like this, with you.’
Warning bells were chiming inside my head and I began to rise involuntarily to my feet. ‘Nate, I have to get back…’
‘Please stay?’ he urged, his eyes wild with emotion I hadn’t witnessed there before. ‘I need to say this now or else I’ll never say it.’
Reluctantly, in spite of all my better judgement, I resumed my seat.
‘Rosie, since I met you I’ve felt—for the first time in a long time—like I’m understanding myself. You bring out the best in me, the Nate I aspire to be all the time. And it made me realise how unlike me I become whenever Caitlin’s around. She’s an amazing woman—ambitious, independent, stunning; she’s everything I should want to spend my life with. But there’s something missing—that final magic piece that makes it all fit. I love her but I don’t love her like I feel I should. It’s probably my own failing: maybe I see marriage as another business contract. And yes, Mimi has a point in that it makes perfect sense for me to marry her. We move in the same circles, our lives are very similar, our families are good New York clans. But the truth is, you hit the nail on the head when you said I don’t look like a man in love.’
‘Nate, I didn’t mean—’
‘But you—you, Rosie. You’re not afraid to say what you think. You’ve made me look hard at myself and I want to be so much better than what I’ve seen. You’re strong and beautiful, and being your friend makes me feel—alive…’
Suddenly, I didn’t want to hear any more. Whether it was the potency of his words or the mention of the term ‘friend’ I wasn’t sure; whatever the reason, I knew I had to get out of there, fast. ‘I—I have to go,’ I stammered, rising to my feet for a second time. Nate stood too, grabbing my hand.
‘I don’t want to scare you, Rosie. I just want you to know the muddle going on in my mind. You’re a precious part of my life and I won’t let go of you for anyone—not Mimi, not Caitlin, not Ed. Please say you understand. Please?’
For a moment, all I could do was look at him, oblivious to the assembled customers, who were now all avidly watching us. I still wasn’t sure exactly what Nate was telling me. Where did I fit into the picture? I didn’t want to look too deeply inside my head to find out how I felt about him, afraid of what would surface. But I didn’t want to lose his friendship, either.
‘Listen,’ I began quietly, ‘I don’t know what’s happening with you and Caitlin—and, to be honest, I don’t think I want to. I love you being my friend. I enjoy spending time with you. But I don’t want to be the cause of confusion or conflict. I can’t tell you what to do about your engagement: only you know how you feel. But you need to decide what you want because otherwise people are going to get hurt.’
‘I couldn’t bear to hurt you, Rosie.’
I could feel a blush creeping over my face. ‘I don’t mean me, Nate.’
‘But I do.’
I caught my breath.
‘You mean the world to me, Rosie. More than I think either of us knows yet.’
Looking straight into his eyes, I knew he was telling the truth.
‘You need to talk to Caitlin,’ I replied, aware that this suggestion carried a whole other meaning I wasn’t prepared to explore right now.
‘Yes,’ he nodded. ‘Yes I do.’