It was sheer luck her hiding place hadn’t been discovered for so long, but that was where her good fortune ended. The bitter March wind was ripping through Vicki’s thin coat and she was so cold she could hardly move. To add to her misery, it was beginning to snow again. She looked up at the small window and wondered where she was going to get the strength to pull herself through. She knew she must, though, because if she collapsed out here it would be the end.
It was with sheer desperation that she managed to struggle through, and, with the last reserves of her strength gone, she fell on to the concrete floor. That was where she stayed for a while, gasping with relief. After that first hopeful day, things had become more and more difficult. In the struggle to earn enough money for food, ten months had slipped by. Her fifteenth birthday had come and gone unnoticed, and now her situation was frightening. She was so weak and scruffy that no one would give her a job. To her shame, she had started begging at the railway station. Several times she had stopped outside the cafe Bill had taken her to, but just hadn’t been able to make herself go in and ask for something to eat. The man had said she could, but she couldn’t go in there looking like this, and she wasn’t sure if he’d only said that because Bill was there. If she went in begging for food and got thrown out, then that would be the end of her. No, she just couldn’t do it.
Forcing herself to stand up, Vicki went over to the small fireplace and knelt down in front of it. She had resisted lighting a fire because she hadn’t wanted to draw attention to her hiding place, but if she was going to see the spring, then she had to take the chance.
There was plenty of paper and wood in the room and it didn’t take her long to have a fire ready to light. She had been lucky today when a passenger running to catch the train dropped a match box. Vicki had pounced on it. There were only six matches still in the box, but if she was careful they might last her a while. With shaking hands, she struck a match and held it to the paper. Luckily, everything in the room was dry, and the wood soon caught. She watched anxiously, hoping there wouldn’t be too much smoke pouring out of the chimney. She carefully fed small pieces of wood on to the fire and there was soon a good blaze going. She began to thaw out. The relief was overwhelming and, in her fragile state, she began to cry in great gulping sobs. When her dad had thrown her out and she had found this warehouse, she had been confident that it would only be a temporary place to stay, but she was still here. Where had her hopes and dreams of making a good life for herself gone?
More composed after a while, she wiped her face dry and munched the bun she had managed to buy today. As she gazed at the comforting flames, her mind began to clear. There had to be a way out of this desperate mess, but everywhere she went they turned her away, saying they only wanted boys …
Boys … boys … The word kept running through her head as she finished the last crumbs of her meagre meal. Then she nodded to herself. If that was the only way to get a job, then she would have to pass herself off as a boy. It shouldn’t be too hard. If she cut her hair and changed her clothes, it should be possible. Getting hold of trousers, jacket and a shirt wasn’t going to be easy, though, but she would find a way. The railway station would be her best bet. Even though she hated begging like that, it had to be done. If she was lucky, she would get enough money for what she needed. There was a stall at the market selling cast-off clothes, and they were cheap.
The tears had drained her, but now that she was warm, had a small amount of food inside her and a purpose for tomorrow, she felt better. She banked up the fire for the night and settled down to sleep.
The next day the bitter wind had dropped, and there was only a light covering of snow on the ground. When the sun came out, Vicki lifted her face to the brightness. It was too early in the year for there to be any warmth in it, but it was welcome, just the same. She was terribly weak and had to walk slowly, but she did feel a bit stronger after a night resting by the fire, which was a relief because she had to get some money, even if it took all day.
The station was already busy when she settled by the door. Taking a deep breath, she braced herself to beg from everyone who came on to the platform, pleading desperately. There was a small tea room close by, and she could smell the food cooking. It was agony, and the tears she was shedding were genuine. She had to succeed today, or it would be the end for her. Soon she wouldn’t even be able to stand.
A smartly dressed man stopped and studied her, shaking his head. ‘How long is it since you’ve had a decent meal?’
‘I … I had a bun yesterday, sir,’ she said.
‘I said a meal!’ His tone was sharp.
‘Not for a long time, sir.’
‘No, it doesn’t look like it. Come with me.’
He ushered her inside the cafe, made her sit at a table and then went to the counter. Vicki swiped the tears from her face. She cried too easily these days, but she didn’t seem to have enough strength to stop the flow. It disgusted her because she had never indulged in self-pity. But she had never been in such a dreadful state before. She quickly wiped her face with the back of her hand and watched the man walking back to the table. He had a slight limp and was leaning on a silver-topped cane for support.
‘What is your name?’ he asked as he sat down, leaning the cane against the table.
‘Vicki, sir.’ She noticed the cane had a dog’s head on it.
He sighed again. ‘And where is your family, Vicki?’
‘They live in Poplar, sir.’
‘And why aren’t you with them?’
‘My dad threw me out when I wouldn’t go and work for a nasty man. Girls weren’t safe around him, and I wouldn’t do that.’ She didn’t even consider lying.
‘So you ended up begging.’
Vicki nodded, the tears trickling down her face again.
He handed her a pristine handkerchief, sighing deeply once more. ‘Can’t you find work in a decent household, or even a shop? You speak well and sound educated.’
That remark surprised her. She hadn’t realized that the hours she had spent on the lessons in Bill’s book had actually improved her speech. She wiped her face and managed a rare smile. ‘Thank you, sir. I’ve been trying to get work, but I’m such a mess now they won’t even give me a chance.’
‘How long have you been fending for yourself?’
‘Nearly a year. I don’t like begging, but I’m desperate now, sir.’ She held out the handkerchief to him, but he refused to take it back.
‘Ah, here is your food. I want to see you eat every scrap.’
When Vicki saw two slices of toast piled high with scrambled egg, she nearly burst into tears again. She managed to fight the feeling off. This man had kindly brought her in here so she mustn’t embarrass him.
He never said a word as she worked her way through the food and two cups of steaming tea.
‘Would you like another helping?’ he asked when she had finished.
‘Oh, no, sir. I’m full right up. That was very generous of you, and I’m grateful.’
He gestured to the man at the counter who immediately came and put a large brown paper bag on the table and then went back to work.
‘There’s enough food in there to see you through the day, and this is to buy yourself some decent clothes.’
Vicki stared at the money on the table, mesmerized. Ten shillings! ‘No, no, sir. The food I’ll take because I’m starving, but that’s all.’ Her eyes showed suspicion when she looked at him. This wasn’t right.
‘I mean you no harm, young lady. I do not want anything from you. My only reason for doing this is to try to help you.’ He stood up. ‘Take the money, and give me the satisfaction of believing that I might have saved a life this day.’
‘You have, sir.’
He gave a slight nod of his head he walked out, and Vicki watched him get on the train just about to leave the station. When it had steamed away, Vicki turned to the man who had served them. ‘Do you know his name?’
‘Never seen him before.’ He studied her, a deep frown on his face. ‘He was angry to see such a young girl obviously starving to death. I gathered from the little he said that he had served in the war – an officer, by the look of him – and had seen enough suffering. If you have a family somewhere, then you had better go back to them before it’s too late.’
Vicki stood up, steadying herself on the table, and shook her head. ‘My dad threw me out and told me never to come back. He doesn’t change his mind when it’s made up, so I’ve got to survive on my own.’
‘Well, you’re not doing a very good job of it. Look at you! You can hardly stand.’
‘I know I’ve got to do something to get out of this mess, but do you realize how difficult it is to get work? Even men who have returned from the war can’t find work, so what chance do you think a mere girl has? Will you give me a job? I don’t care what it is.’
He shook his head.
‘No, I didn’t think so. Well—’ Vicki gathered up the bag of food and the money – ‘thank you for caring.’
The sun was still shining when Vicki walked back to the platform, so she sat on a seat, trying to gather enough strength to tackle the long walk back to the market. She now had enough food for two days if she was careful, and money to buy the clothes she needed. Then she would go back to the warehouse, cut her hair short and scrub herself until she was spotless. A bar of soap had better go on her shopping list.
She lifted her face to the sun, forcing herself to think clearly. Having a full stomach after such a long time had made her sleepy, and she began to drift off …
The noise of another train arriving woke her suddenly, and she sat up straight. She couldn’t sit here all day. There were things to do. She stood up and walked out of the station. Should she spend some of her precious money on a bus? Her decision was soon made and she began walking, knowing she had to be careful with every penny she had been given.
That evening Vicki lit a fire again, needing the comforting blaze for warmth and to dry her underclothes. As she watched the flames leap into life, she marvelled, not for the first time, that she had managed to keep this hiding place to herself all these months. It was a stroke of good luck she didn’t take for granted. She could always hear others in the building, but no one had ever bothered her.
She held her hands out to the blaze, trying to stop them shaking. She was exhausted, but the clothes had been bought, her hair chopped off short with the old scissors she had brought with her, and she was clean. Tomorrow she would clamber out of this room as a boy. She had to get a job – any kind of a job!
Pulling her knees up, she bowed her head towards them. She had been given a lifeline today, and it mustn’t be wasted. She owed that to the kind gentleman, and to Bill – two strangers who had reached out to help her. She couldn’t let them down – and she mustn’t let herself down!