A regular old housewife visits the neighbors, right? I rang Hazel’s doorbell and stood back, ready for the onslaught.
“Aaieeee! Cassidy! I heard on the news you’d been found. I thought I’d sent you to your doom looking for this jewel thief. Ask Wally, I was fraught with worry and guilt!”
“Yeah,” Wally said. “She went to the Boggle match and said, ‘that missing policewoman is my neighbor. Isn’t it awful! Boohooo.’ And all the old biddies gathered around her and patted her on the back and said, ‘there, there it’ll be all right. You’ll see.’ And then in her worry and guilt she whomped them at Boggle.”
“Whomped isn’t even a word,” Hazel countered.
“It is, too, I just made it up.”
“So, Cassidy,” Hazel said. “Now that you are safe and sound and home again, tell me all the nitty-gritty details. What did the jewel thief do to you?”
“It had nothing to do with the jewel thief. It was another, completely different case. Don’t worry about it. I survived and I’m back. I just have to take it easy for a few days and I promised Rusty I’d stay completely away from the jewel thief case for a week.”
“Oh,” she said, disappointed. “Well, I guess I can postpone it.”
Oh, no, I thought, what has she done now?
“Hazel? What have you been up to? You’ve been scheming! What did you do?”
“I’m sorry, Cassidy! I thought if you were looking for a jewel thief and she was involved in the seniors groups I could lure her here so I added a night to the calendar called A Decked out Dinner. It’s formal, well, as formal as folks can get. And they’re all going to be wearing their best. I had my white polyester pantsuit dry cleaned and everything!”
“Hazel, do you know how dangerous this could be? What if you lured your guests into a crime scene?”
“I thought you said this jewel thief is harmless.”
“Well, she has been so far.”
“So, maybe she’ll show up to check out the goods!”
Sigh, “When is this Decked out Dinner you have planned?”
“Friday.”
“Okay, I’ll talk to Rusty, but you better keep your fingers crossed!”
Rusty came home for dinner at his usual time. One of his favorite dinners was almost done. He looked around, looked at me, folded his arms over his chest and, I don’t know how he did it but, he glared and grinned at the same time.
“You’re cute when you’re trying to butter me up for something. What is it?”
“I am not!” I said. “We have this dinner about once a month. What makes you think I’m buttering you up?”
“The fact that you are defensive about it, for one. Babe, you can just talk to me. I’m not that scary, am I?”
“It depends on the topic,” I said cringing. “And I’m not doing it for my sake, but for Hazel’s. She’s been scheming.”
“I think I better sit down for this,” he said. “Come talk to me.”
“First of all, I had nothing to do with this idea except that Hazel knew I was looking for a jewel thief. She thought that if she threw a big, formal dinner everyone would come out in all their best clothes and wear their jewelry and maybe the jewel thief would come to check out the goods. She called it a Decked out Dinner and it’s scheduled for Friday. She started planning this as soon as she heard on the news that I was okay, so I didn’t know anything about it until today.”
“Hazel? Is throwing a formal dinner party? What’s the main casserole?”
“Rusty! I don’t know. The food is her department. It’s her party.”
“But…”
“You know we can’t let her do this without at least keeping an eye on the place.”
“You want to go to the party and watch for Agnes?”
“Do you have any better ideas?”
“How do you get yourself into these things? Why don’t you just borrow Misty’s engagement ring from her second husband twice removed. It’s a rock the size of Manhattan.”
“He married her twice?”
“Cass…”
“Actually that’s not a bad idea. Maybe Agnes would try and break into our house! Maybe Misty would loan it to me to make up for nearly killing me.”
“Cassidy, I wish you could hear yourself. No! You are not talking to Misty or going to Hazel’s Decked out Dinner. She got herself into this and it’ll go fine.”
“And Agnes will come and go and not be caught. My real plan only involved mingling and watching for Agnes, or maybe watching the guests come and go. I feel like Hazel did this for us. We should at least make an attempt to catch Agnes if she shows.”
“We? What’s this ‘we’ business? You promised.”
“I didn’t do anything except go visit the neighbors. Hazel brought up all this other stuff. It’s going to happen whether we like it or not. When I said that I was grounded from jewel thieves for a week she acted very disappointed and said she could postpone it. But postponing it only makes Agnes less likely to show. Hazel will have this dinner now that her friends are expecting it.”
“And I suppose, now that you’re famous, you’re supposed to be her guest of honor.”
“Oh, man, I hadn’t even thought about that aspect! But then Agnes will think I’m a cop. You think she’ll show if she knows there’s a bumbling cop present?”
“There’s no telling what Agnes is going to do.”
He sat there, very irritated. Wacky senior citizen dinner parties involving jewel thieves didn’t seem to appeal to him for some reason. Duh, I wonder why. I put dinner on the table and still he sat there thinking glumly about this party.
“Rusty, I don’t blame you one bit. That’s the same way I felt when Hazel told me. Would you like to go talk to her? Maybe you can talk her into canceling it. I just didn’t have the heart.”
He picked at his food, thinking. I didn’t know how he could think so hard about one little dinner party. It seemed like it would be a simple decision on his part. Just lay down the law and tell me I couldn’t go. It’s what I expected.
After dinner he went to his office and he was on the phone for a long time. When he was through he still wasn’t happy. I didn’t push for an answer. He knew I needed one for Hazel. He sat on the old brown couch, his usual office work forgotten. I took Shadow outside and ran him through the agility course a few times. He still balked at the dog walk and I didn’t have a lot of concentration to put into training so we stopped and went inside. Rusty was looking glummer. Something had to be done.
“Take a walk with me,” I said.
We walked in silence for a while but the cool desert air finally relaxed him enough so he talked.
“Schroeder wasn’t too pleased when I told him what happened.”
“I don’t blame him. I wasn’t too pleased myself.”
“But we decided, if it was going to happen, we might as well take advantage of it. Clifford and Fraser were not pleased with their assignment either.”
“I don’t know that I’ve met them.”
“That’s because they work undercover. They don’t expect to see much action at a senior citizen dinner party.”
“Is that why they didn’t want to do it?”
He shook his head no. “They didn’t like being chosen because they look old.”
“So Friday’s a go?”
“Friday’s a go.”
Half of me wanted to jump up and hug him and half of me thought I needed to really think this through.
Rusty continued, “Communication is going to be the big problem. We will stand out enough. Add radios and Agnes won’t come near the place. At least you and I can pretty much dress up and be ourselves, since we’re kind of honorary guests, anyway. Clifford and Fraser will come scruffy formal, act old, develop a few annoying habits, complain about their arthritis, keep an eye out for Agnes and be on call. If you see Agnes or anything suspicious you’ll have to talk to them inconspicuously. And you are not to leave the house. I know, if Agnes makes a break for it you’re going to want to take off after her. Don’t.”
“Well,” I said, “I ought to be well enough to party by Friday. I hope my eyes are back to normal. I don’t want my eyes to match my little black dress.”
“You’re going to wear your little black dress?”
“It’s the closest to formal I’ve got. I can dress it up with the necklace and earrings my mom gave me.”
“I’m beginning to like this party idea a little more.”