I was tracking for Tom again, this time with full knowledge of what the outcome would be. I could see the body, crumpled on the ground, with a bullet hole through one side of the head and the other side blasted wide open. Glock 45. Pistol. One shot to the head. This time I didn’t stumble over the body. I knew it was coming. I expected it. I dreaded it.
“Cassidy, babe, wake up. Come on, back to me.” Rusty shook me gently. “Cass… no more nightmares. Remember? We’re here. Just the two of us. Come here, I’ve got you.” The words flowed and I gradually relaxed, snuggling deeper. Hiding from my memories. Turning to the one good thing I had. My Rusty.
Morning dawned and I didn’t stir. Rusty’s alarm went off and he shut it off, saw I was still there and went back to sleep. Half an hour later I shook him gently. “You’re going to be late for work.”
“I’m not going to work. I already called Schroeder.”
“I thought you called Schroeder about the call from Dirk.”
He paused a second, a little surprised I had made the connection. “He wanted to talk to you but I wouldn’t let him. He asked where you were yesterday but I didn’t give him an answer. He said he’d be watching. He said he’d find his chance. He said he had a plan. So I’m not going to work. I’m on stake out. I’m staking out your place.”
The talk brought Shadow to our bedside. I groaned and got up to feed him and let him out. Rusty followed me. When I went outside he came out, sidearm ready, he scanned the hills. I did my minimal morning responsibility and went back to bed. Shadow was disappointed but the morning routine had been fulfilled so he ate his food, then found a place to wait for something more interesting to happen. Rusty wasn’t disappointed. He didn’t mind going back to bed at all.
“This is a cushy job,” he said. “I could get used to this. Beautiful woman, comfortable bed.”
“Mmm, how close do you need to stake me out to make sure I’m safe?”
“As close as possible.”
“Is this an inside operation?”
“Hmm, could be. I better check.”
He burrowed under the covers and planted kisses up my legs, across my stomach, up my body. Yesterday was fading quickly from my mind as I anticipated what was coming. Rusty’s magic fingers. I could have shot Dirk myself when there was a crash outside and Shadow lunged at the bay window barking furiously. Rusty and I grabbed our nearest weapons and lunged for the window, too. Rusty whipped the shutters aside. Dirk ducked into the trees as Rusty and I stood there in our birthday suits. Dirk turned around and Rusty stepped in front of me, raised his gun and fired through the window. Dirk continued his flight. Was he walking differently? I couldn’t tell because Rusty pulled me away from the window and ran to pull on some pants and shoes.
“Rusty! No! He’s armed!” I yelled but he took off after Dirk, anyway. I pulled on jeans, and a t-shirt. Rusty needed backup! I wasn’t going to let him chase down an armed man without help. Lousy shot or not, Dirk might just get off a lucky shot. By the time I got out to the yard Rusty was out of sight so I ran to the camp. As I passed the barn an arm came out of nowhere and brought me up short. Jayce was lucky I didn’t blast his head off! I turned, began leveling my gun and saw uniform. He grabbed my hand and forced it away until he knew I wasn’t going to shoot.
“What are you doing here? And why didn’t you see Dirk when he snuck up on the house?”
“We were told to patrol the area. We were driving by and we heard shots. When I pulled up Rusty told me to stop you, so I’m stopping you.”
“Go help Rusty!”
“Not until I know you’ll stay home, inside, with the doors locked.”
I figured Jayce was a bigger help to Rusty so I went to the house in frustration. At least he would shoot. I still had my doubts of whether I would or not. I knew I’d only fire if I thought it was in defense of another. I wouldn’t fire simply to stop Dirk.
I went to the house and locked the doors so Jayce would leave and help Rusty. Inside I was fighting it. But I really wasn’t capable of helping much. Just running to the barn had tired me. All I could say was I was a better shot than most of them but what good was it if I wouldn’t shoot? When I thought about it I’d most likely complicate things for them. I paced the house. When I grew weak and shaky I slapped some deli meat between two slices of bread. I stood in the kitchen eating my makeshift breakfast. Shadow sat obediently at my feet waiting for tidbits. Every once in a while he glanced down the hall. I thought he expected Rusty to come out and I dearly wished Rusty would. Food was more important to Shadow. I tossed him a bit of bread and he caught it and sat again. He knew carrying on and begging only got him a cold shoulder. As long as he minded his manners he had a good chance of getting something. Another glance down the hall a quick check on the sandwich. A click of a gun. I froze, sandwich midway to my mouth. Shadow ran to the hall, barked twice in greeting and ran back to the sandwich. Some watchdog.
“Nice of your husband to leave a nice big window open for me,” Dirk said.
I’d remembered the window when Jayce sent me home but I didn’t remind him of it because I wanted him to join the chase. I didn’t worry about it because I thought Dirk would be on the run. Great, I thought, I am in no shape to take Dirk on. I even wondered if I had enough energy to take Rusty on and he only wanted a little playtime.
“You’ve got lousy timing,” I told Dirk.
“It was more entertaining than what I had planned. Gave me some ideas. I hadn’t thought of watching you die nude.”
I took a bite of my sandwich. I had to stall for time.
“I meant you have bad timing because the police could be back any time.”
“I’m not worried. They aren’t following me. They just think they are. I just need a few minutes.”
“If you think it’s only going to take a few minutes to kill me you better think again. I can be a royal pain in the ass.”
“I was hoping you would be, because I don’t want you to go down easy.”
“It’s a deal. I won’t.”
“We need to be going.”
“No. Rule number one for being a royal pain in the ass is to not cooperate with your captor.”
“Walk,” he said. “Or I’ll shoot.”
“Please, do,” I said. “So far you’ve only managed to waste bullets when you’ve shot at me. Oh, and you blew up a mine.”
That made him mad. “Let me tell you about the mine. That mine held more money than I’ve seen in a lifetime. The money, had the family survived, should have been mine. My family was driven away, murdered, some brutally. The family was almost cleaned out by land grabbing politicians. My mother fled to another part of the country but she always told me, while I was growing up, that there was a fortune, a family fortune buried somewhere in the foothills outside Joshua Hills, California. I spent years researching family history. I came out here to restore the family name, to find the family roots, to discover the family fortune. Instead I found ruins and cryptic notes and a meddling kid. It was a pleasant surprise when I found out you weren’t a kid. I’d have had trouble killing a kid. Come to find out you’re a cop. That was some surprise.”
“I’m not a cop,” I said, though technically I might be, if I had a senior officer, if I had a job to do, then maybe. But I was a lousy one, one they couldn’t count on. So, although I had the uniform and the sporadic authority, neither I, nor they, considered me a cop. “I’m a tracker.”
“You? Ha, that’s a good one. That’s even harder to believe than you being a cop.”
“I was tracking a woman when you met me. She was looking for Ronald Kingsley’s jewelry making shop. She found it. You found me.”
“Well, at least one of us came out ahead. Kingsley’s shop was worth a bundle. He was my great uncle.”
“She didn’t get to keep it. She was arrested.”
“You mean it’s still there?”
“Not exactly. Last I saw the house it was engulfed in flames.”
“You’re just full of good news,” he said sarcastically. “We need to take a little ride.”
“You’re not getting me past the door without a fight.”
I slid down the counter gradually aiming for the knife drawer. As I did I was mentally scanning the house. Where had I left my cell phone? Where was my gun? I was cornered in the kitchen, but if I had a chance where should I go? Dirk closed in. I wasn’t going to make it to the knife drawer. I feinted a lunge towards it and when he dashed in to stop me I shoved him into the cupboards. His head hit with a heavy thud. I dashed past while he was figuring things out and tipped over a dining room chair as I ran by. He swore as he ran after me. I grabbed Rusty’s cell phone off the nightstand as I stumbled toward the broken window. I was deciding quickly that I couldn’t outrun Dirk. Just this little tussle had me winded and aching. I pocketed the phone. I didn’t want Dirk to know I had it. He grabbed my arm and hauled me back. I swung around and grabbed his gun hand. He brought it down and I pushed it away. If it was a battle of strength he was going to win. He forced me to the floor. I kicked and punched ineffectually. My strength was fading fast. The search had taken a toll on my stamina. Dirk’s hands closed around my throat.
“I hadn’t planned to do this here but you aren’t… giving me… much… choice!” he growled. “I will see you die.”
In my thrashing around I felt something with my fingers. It was nice and solid, metal. The gun! It was the gun! I reached, desperate to get that handle in my grasp. Each time I felt it, it slipped just a few inches farther away. I needed that gun! It was down to a life and death fight now and he wasn’t getting me this easy. I squirmed in the direction of the pistol, stars dancing where Dirk’s face should have been.
“Poor little girl, she’s turning blue. You better get some air little one,” he sneered with mock sincerity.
Okay, I thought, finally grasping the gun in my hand, one breath for you, then one for me. I brought my hand up. I hated the only angle I could get, but I was fixing to black out. I didn’t know what this angle would do and time was growing short. I pointed the gun at his side and a wretched sobbed squeezed past Dirk’s fingers as I pulled the trigger.
Dirk’s eyes got big, not believing what had happened to him. He got to his knees but his lungs were filling quickly with blood. I struggled loose as Dirk knelt nearby feeling the wound in his side. I staggered to my feet. I didn’t know what to do. I was in so much shock all I could do was call for help. I dialed 911 and croaked out that I needed an ambulance and the police. I gave them the address.
“Are you in immediate danger?” the woman asked.
“Just get them here fast,” I said.
“Please stay on the line. What is the condition of the injured party?”
“He’s dying!” I cried. “But I need to hang up. I need to call the police.”
“That isn’t necessary. Please stay on the…”
I hung up. I had Rusty’s phone so I flipped through the numbers until I came up with Schroeder. I didn’t wait for his questions to start.
“Schroeder, Rusty’s with Thompson and Jacobsen. Call them off and send them here.”
“Cassidy, I can’t just call them whenever I want.”
“Then get ahold of the person who does! I’ve got a guy dying in my bedroom and I need help!”
“What?”
“You heard me. I’ve got to go. I can’t stand this…Schroeder please…”
The stupid thing was Dirk wasn’t quite dead. Even as he was dying he found the strength to give it one last try. With a strangled gurgle he staggered toward me and launched himself at me. He pinned me to the wall leering at me, hands groping for my face, grasping my neck. I kicked him in the groin and he started to double over but his grip was too strong and he was leaning into me. He dragged me down with him, spasms wracking his body. Mentally I recoiled. I couldn’t take in the violence. My brain shut it out. All I could do was lay there quietly sobbing.
“Cassidy?” I could hear through the phone. Schroeder was still there.
A rescue squad arrived first, followed by the ambulance. Landon recognized the address over the radio and took the call. He banged on the door.
“Cassidy!” he called out.
I could hear the noises out front but they barely penetrated my numb mind. I knew if I didn’t go answer the door, they’d kick it in, but I couldn’t force myself to move. More voices. They didn’t want to enter a potentially dangerous situation but Landon’s voice argued over the others. There was quiet and then he was climbing in the broken window. He ran to the front door and unlocked it then ran back to me.
“Cassidy? Girl, come on. Talk to me.”
“I killed him,” I sobbed. “I had to. Landon, I think I killed him.”
“Don’t think about it. Help me here. What are the injuries?”
“I shot him. Through the side. He was choking me. I had to. I swear I had to. He would have killed me.”
“Don’t think about it,” he repeated. His partner got the information he needed though. “What about you?”
“I don’t care about me,” was all I could cry. The struggle was still going on in my head the blows, the shot echoed on and on. Landon checked me over. He felt for broken bones. He palpitated for internal injuries. When Rusty walked in Landon quickly took him aside. Rusty almost slugged him.
“Michaels, wait half a second. Cass is okay. But I don’t know what to do. She needs you but it’s going to take patience. Maybe I should take her in. She can’t take this. She had to shoot the guy. She’s got bloody handprints around her neck, around her arm. But I can’t find anything physically wrong with her. She’s just in shock.” He got out of the way and Rusty pushed past. I still lay on the floor, just sobbing. I’d turned on my side and covered my head with my arms, trying to block out everything I could.
“Babe? It’s Rusty. Come on. Come here. It’s okay.”
No response, just quiet sobbing.
“I know you had to. Cassidy, you wouldn’t have shot him unless you had to. Try and think of something else.”
No response. I thought I’d cry for the rest of my life. People came and went. Tom tried to get a statement out of me. All he could do was gather evidence. Finally, Rusty was able to gather me up and sit with me on the floor, just holding me. Schroeder arrived, looked around the room and hung up the cell phone.
“Let’s try this from a different angle,” Rusty said. “Who was the guy on the yellow bike?”
No response, at first, then a sobbed, “I don’t know.”
At least it was words.
“Did Dirk know who he was?”
“I think so.”
“How’d Dirk get in? The door was locked.”
“The broken window.”
“The kid on the bike was just a diversion?”
“Yeah.”
“What did he do to you, babe? What made you do it?”
That put me over the edge again. “He was going to take me away. I wouldn’t let him. He lost his temper. He was choking me. Rusty… I had to. It was my only chance. Make it go away. Make it stop. It’s all I can see.”
“Shh, open your eyes. Come on, open your eyes. You’ll see it’s just me.”
I opened my eyes and I did see it was just Rusty. Rusty sitting near an immense pool of blood. Blood splattered on the walls and furniture. A bloody handprint smeared down the wall. I hid my eyes again.
“Oh, babe, I’m sorry. We won’t stay here tonight. We’ll find someplace else.”
But we didn’t. After the police cleared out Rusty helped me shower. He helped me into flannel pants and a tank top and we lay down in the guestroom. For several days I was barely there. I was still weak from the surgery and the search, then the fight. The mental strain pushed me over the edge until I almost didn’t care if I got better. Rusty told me when to eat and when to sleep. If he didn’t I would have simply existed in a world of violence and blood. Nights were the worst. Nightmares haunted me. I was scared to go to sleep because my thoughts ran uncontrolled. At least when I was awake I could slow them down.
“It’s like she’s stuck in time,” Rusty was telling Kelly. “She lives the attack.”
“Like after Stern.”
“Yeah.”
“She’ll come around. Give her time.”
“How much time? Sometimes I think the more time she has the deeper she sinks.”
They were talking like I wasn’t there, and in a way I wasn’t. I wasn’t there enough to argue. Hell, I couldn’t argue because it was all true.
“She lost a baby, tracked a suicide case, and was almost strangled. All that hit physically as well as psychologically. Each of those has serious complications. It’s going to take time.”
It wasn’t the attack that haunted me, though. It was the shot.