Chapter Forty-Seven

Over the remaining days of fall break, I find myself wishing for more of those gentle kisses and reliving what happened between us on the dance floor. But nothing else occurs. I’m not sure why. Maybe he thinks I need the space after the attack. I do, but not from him.

Director Williams has not responded to my request for a meeting. I assume it’s because we’re on break, and when we return he’ll respond to all emails.

On Sunday, Momma calls to check in. “Hi, sweet girl, how are you?”

“I’m good, Momma. I miss you.”

“We miss you, too. Whatcha got going on? Anything new?”

“Nah,” I lie. “All the same. Classes, studying. I went deep sea fishing, and I got picked to go to a student conference in Miami.”

“Well, sounds like you’re keeping busy then.”

“I’m trying. How are you and Carl?” I ask, hoping I remembered the name of her new husband correctly.

“We’re good. We moved out of public housing and into a little rental place.”

“You did? That’s awesome!” Momma’s never lived out of public housing. For that matter, neither have I. That is until now. “Is he being good to you? Good to the twins?”

“He loves the twins.”

I smile. “Good, Momma. You deserve all the happiness.”

“Thanks, sweet girl.” In the background Carl mumbles something, and Momma tells me, “All right, we’re fixin’ to take the twins to the park, so I’ll call you later.”

“Bye.” I click off and sit for a second. Maybe Carl’s going to last. He sounds okay, and heaven knows she needs a nice guy for a change.

I make a mental note to call Levi and get his take on it.

That night, Riel takes me back to the dorm, and Gillian’s already here. “Look at you on time,” I joke.

She makes a face. “You’re rubbing off on me.”

“Listen, I found a self-defense class I’m going to take. It’s still a month away before it starts, but do you want to do it with me?”

She throws an awkward punch into the air followed by an equally awkward kick. “Yeah, I’m in.”

“I think you might need it more than me.”

The next morning, I check my inbox and Director Williams has scheduled me in to see him on Friday. That’s five days. Five days I pray Abbie keeps her big mouth shut.

Monday goes by, then Tuesday, and I don’t see Abbie or Peter. Maybe they both drowned somewhere off the coast of Hawaii. On Wednesday, I go to the doctor. He lets me take my sling off, and as he’s examining my ribs, he says, “One more week and you should be back to normal. It’s a good thing your rib didn’t actually crack.”

I lower my T-shirt. “Yeah, good thing.”

“Other than that, how are you doing?”

“I signed up for a self-defense class.”

The doctor nods. “Good. Don’t be helpless. Be proactive.”

“That’s right. I’ll be ready next time.”

“What?” The doctor snaps his eyes to me. “That’s no way to think. There won’t be a next time. They will find the guy.”

“Okay,” I agree, because that’s what he wants to hear, but my attacker’s final words echo in my brain. This isn’t the end. Either way, I will be ready.

After the doctor’s visit, I call the investigative officer. He’s not there but some other cop tells me they still don’t have any leads.

“What about Bud?” I ask. “Did you question him?”

“Not yet. Mr. Hamns said he went to visit family up in Alaska. When he returns we’ll have a talk with him.”

“Well, when did he leave?”

“According to Mr. Hamns he left right after your attack.”

An icy chill crawls down my spine. “After my attack?”

“I know what you’re thinking, but there’s no evidence that directly links him to your assault. So for now we wait until he returns and then bring him in for questioning.”

Am I the only one who sees that just because he says he’s in Alaska doesn’t mean he really is? He could be hiding out, waiting until I’m alone. Waiting to attack again.

“Be cautious,” the cop tells me. “We’re doing everything we can on this end. I promise.”

Be cautious? What a ridiculous thing to say. What does he think I’m doing, running the streets naked, yelling for my attacker to come back out? I start to ask the cop about Manny, and his phone rings.

“I need to take this,” he tells me. “I’ll call you if anything surfaces.”

When I get back to the dorms, I catch site of Abbie and Peter stepping from a limo that’s obviously brought them in from the airport. So much for my fantasy of them drowning off the coast of Hawaii. Like Gillian, I suppose they can just come and go as they please. Someone like me would never get away with missing three days of classes. I wouldn’t want to miss three days. Not voluntarily.

I duck into the dorm, change clothes, and head straight to the academy’s fitness center. I do a light round of weights before heading into the MMA room to find it empty. I’ve been watching a ton of YouTube self-defense videos and start off kicking a bag, practicing the moves. Then I move on to punches. After that, I practice restrain and release moves, though there’s no one here to practice with me, but I still go through the motions.

I take a water and stretch break and start all over again. When I glance up at the clock, two hours have gone by.

“Hey.”

I look over to the door to see Riel standing there. He walks toward me. “What are you doing?”

I wave around the room. “I’m skilled in mixed martial arts now, haven’t you heard?”

He moves closer and comes to a stop right in front of me. He touches his finger to my forehead, and I catch my breath. “You need to relax. Do some yoga or something.”

“Yoga?” I choke out.

“Get in touch with your chi or yen or whatever it is you’re supposed to channel.”

Yeah, right. Just the thought of yoga bores me.

He glances at his watch. “Picked up another shift at The Windbreaker. Mind watching Mar?”

“Sure.” I never mind watching Mar. “I’ll have Gillian drop me off.”

He nods but doesn’t immediately move away. Then his eyes drop to my neck, and I’m acutely aware of a bead of sweat tracking across my skin. He watches it as it trails over my collar bone and disappears into my cleavage beneath my tank top.

Swallowing, he takes a step back and clears his throat. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” I tell him, wanting to reach for him. Wanting him to reach for me.

He takes another step back and it’s like the Grand Canyon is now between us. Why does he think I want so much space?

“Okay, I’ll see you later,” he says, and I watch as he walks out the door.

I need to figure out how to get rid of this—whatever this gap is—that’s between us now.