“OK, Unc, switch clothes!”
I opened up my bag and took out Uncle Brucker’s blue suit and name tag. He took off his robe and put on the pants. I had no time to take the wrinkled suit to the cleaners. In the mirror he straightened the collar of his blue tour-guide suit.
I pinned on his name tag. Thompson, Brucker.
“Better get goin’. There’s doctors comin’,” I said, and I quickly got into the bed and he opened the door and walked out.
Face to face with the Inspector.
At this point the Inspector was supposed to say, “Is this the official tour?” And then he would join the tour and follow along behind Uncle Brucker. We went over it in the car.
But he just stood there looking scared and confused and hopeless. Uncle Brucker knew how the Inspector felt. He knew it because he lived it. It’s tough being stuck in another dimension where everything’s different and you have no home base.
“Yes, this is the official tour,” Uncle Brucker said, and he started off down the hall, hoping the Inspector will take the hint and follow. An elderly couple got on line and followed, but the Inspector stayed behind motionless. “Follow me, please. This tour goes in one direction only.”
The next time he looked back, the Inspector had caught up and joined the tour.
“There’s operatin’ rooms on the left. That’s where they do the fixin’,” said Uncle Brucker. “Intensive Care is on the right, and that’s where they do the curin’. Someday they’ll combine the two and speed up the process. That’s the front desk up ahead. Call it main desk or front desk, they’ll know what you mean. The tour starts and ends right here. Thank you and stay well.”
By the time they reached the front desk, the group had grown to eight people.
The door opened and two doctors came into my room. Their name tags said Dr. Yula Von Delpa and Dr. Gail Gustarino. They had pens in their pockets and they carried tablets with lots of information. Dr. Von Delpa wore a tiny ice cream cone earring on her left ear. Her right ear had a stick pop. Dr. Gustarino wore no earrings at all. They took my pulse and checked the monitors and the chart.
Then left their pens in their pockets and they tapped on their computer tablets and consulted each other.
“Not my choice for the picture of health gallery,” said Dr. Von Delpa with the earrings.
“And he’s been talkin’ about the White Palace,” said Dr. Gustarino who was earring free.
“Lights on, doors open?”
“That’s what he says.”
“There’s not much we can do when the lights are on and all the doors to the Palace are open.”
“Suggestions?”
“Coffee?”
“I concur.”
The doctors put their tablets in their pockets and hung the clipboard on the bed, and they didn’t use their pens at all.
After they left I counted to one hundred, got out of bed and went into the hall. The two doctors were all the way down by the cafeteria. At the front desk people inquired about the twelve o’clock tour.
I took the stairs down to the parking lot. There was a window on every floor. Through the third floor window I saw my Uncle and the Inspector walking slowly across the tree lawn. Second floor, they headed toward the road. Next floor down I couldn’t see them through the bushes. Down the hall and out to the parking lot. I got in the Camaro, tied my seatbelt in a knot, and took off.