Reagan
“He’s requesting to see you, babe,” John says for the third time.
“Don’t care,” she counters and brushes her gelding more vigorously. He has embedded a lot of dirt and caked-on mud into his heavy winter coat.
“He’s your father, Reagan,” he implores and touches her shoulder, which she shirks.
“Again, for the tenth time, don’t care.”
Earlier this morning, Cory called again to let them know how Paige was doing and to relay a message from Robert. He does not feel well enough to travel to the farm, but he wants her and her sisters and husbands to travel to him. Cory also conveyed that he doesn’t look good. Reagan has no desire to see him. He left her. He abandoned his family. She has nothing to say that would inspire kindness or offer forgiveness.
“We’re going,” her husband states and walks away.
Reagan chases him down the barn aisle, leaving Harry in the cross-ties. “Wait! John, wait, damn it.”
He stops and turns to face her. “Your family is going. Your sisters. Your grandfather. We’re going. He requested us, too. If you don’t do this, you may come to regret it. Not now. Maybe not five or even twenty-five years from now. But, Reagan, someday you’ll regret not going. If he’s not doing well, this may be the last time you ever get to see him.”
“The kids…”
“The Reynolds are going to keep them overnight for us. The Johnson’s are going to take care of the farm today until Cory and Simon get back.”
“But…”
“Babe, I’m going to pack. You need to pump milk for Charlie. We really need to get on the road. Everyone else is almost ready,” he says gently and cups her cheek. When she doesn’t answer, John says, “I’ll be there with you. You don’t have to do this alone.”
Reagan swallows the hard lump of emotion that has somehow bubbled up and become caught in her throat. Seeing her father, speaking to him, is making her anxious and a tad sick to her stomach. Reluctantly, she turns her horse loose and returns to the house where she pumps four bottles of milk for Charlotte. Being away from her is going to be hard. She’d always heard, mostly from Sue, that being separated from her children was difficult. She finally gets it. Being away from their son and daughter is going to be horrible.
“Oh, Reagan!” Sue complains when she walks into the music room as she’s finishing.
“What?” she asks, picking up on her sister’s criticism.
“You’d better get moving!”
“I am. What the hell?”
Sue walks over and takes the bottles. “Shower! You need a shower. I thought you were just checking on something outside. What’d you get into doing? You’re filthy!”
“Who cares?”
Her sister laughs before saying, “The rest of us who are going to be forced into the same vehicle with you.”
Reagan smirks. “Sucks to be you.”
“Shower,” Sue demands and leaves the room.
Three hours later, they are piled into vehicles, and the children have been taken to the neighbors. The farm is locked down for all intents and purposes, but she knows everyone must feel the same sense of apprehension leaving it unoccupied.
“It’s ok, babe,” John reassures her in the back seat of the truck. G sits on her other side and is staring with an expression of distress out her window with earbuds stuck in her ears. Reagan can hear loud music coming through. Her half-sister is obviously also not happy about this trip. “Dave’s only a phone call away, and Cory and Simon should be back in an hour or so.”
She tries to give an optimistic nod, but she finds herself glancing in the rearview mirror next to Kelly in the driver’s seat in front of her. Derek is driving the Suburban, which they just repaired for the twentieth time, or so it seems.
“K-Dog and the neighbors all know we’re leaving, too,” he says and holds her hand. “They’ll be safe.”
“I know,” she answers. “I just wish I didn’t have to go. What could be so important that he wants us all there?”
He doesn’t answer but offers a grimace and looks out his window instead. Her mind races with ideas. None of them has a good outcome.
“Why don’t you rest? We’ve got a ways to go,” her husband says a while later.
“Sure,” she says and leans against his broad shoulder.
The next thing she knows, Reagan snaps awake at the sound of the radio in the front seat.
“Yeah, good, little brother,” Kelly says into the radio. “Be careful, over.”
“No problem,” Cory says. “We’ve got this. You guys, take your time. Do what you need to do. Over and out.”
Kelly sends a closing remark and cuts the transmission. “We’re almost there,” he tells them in the back seat.
“’Bout five miles out,” John confirms.
The second they are permitted onto the grounds of the fort, Reagan feels her stress level rise by a thousand percent. They are shown to a small parking area near her father’s private quarters. Upon exiting, everyone stretches their backs, her grandfather especially. This trip better be worth it to put him through this. He was just here! Whatever is so important could’ve been covered with him when he came last or over the radio.
“Right this way,” one of her father’s advisors says. Reagan can’t remember his name, maybe Maxwell.
She notices that Derek is using his cane again, which concerns her. When he sits for too long, his leg gets stiff like that. She’ll have to talk about it with him later when they’re done with their visit.
They are shown to her father’s apartment. She knows that they have a house on base, but most of the time he prefers to stay with his men. With the current state of treachery around the base, she doesn’t blame him for staying close to his trusted team. He’d trusted Parker. Lucille, her father’s wife, rushes forward to hug Lucas and Gretchen. G actually hugs her mother. Luke is just as affectionate with her.
“Welcome, welcome,” she says to the rest of them.
She doesn’t look well for some reason, perhaps exhausted, or ill. Reagan isn’t much of a hugger, and she definitely isn’t going to hug Lucy. She could be sick, and Reagan doesn’t want to take germs back to the farm.
“He’s in here,” she says, ushering them into another room. It’s a bedroom. Her father is propped up on a stack of thick pillows and is covered with a blanket, several by the looks of it. “Robert.”
Her father awakens with a slight startle. “Dad,” he says first to Grandpa. “Girls. Come in. Everyone, come in, please. Find a place. Lucy, have the men bring in some folding chairs.”
“We’re fine, Dad,” Sue assures him. “We’ve been sitting. It feels good to stand, actually.”
He smiles and nods. He doesn’t look well at all, even worse than his wife. And he looks thinner than he was even when he came to the farm. From what they heard from Cory, Paige made it seem like Parker was possibly poisoning him. If so, she hopes that piece of shit rots in Hell. It’s no less than what he deserves. She only wishes that he was still alive, that Simon hadn’t killed him. Reagan understands why he needed to do so, but she was disappointed and so were the men when they found out he was dead. It just seems so anticlimactic after everything they’ve been through that he got to go out in a quick bang. He deserved torture, a long, drawn-out execution.
“Hannah,” her father implores and holds out his hand. Hannah walks over and reaches out, finding his hand. “Oh, my darling Hannah. Sit with me?”
She does, positioning herself on the edge of the mattress.
“We have much to go over and not a lot of time to do it,” he says.
Lucy comes in with a chair for Grandpa, which he takes and thanks her for. Then she stands off in the corner while her husband conducts his business.
“I’m so sorry to all of you for bringing Parker into your lives,” he apologizes. “That’s something I have to live with. It will weigh heavily on my conscience. It was my mistake. I underestimated him. I did not understand the scope of his capacity for evil. I never…” he pauses to cough. “I never knew him to be that way. I’m sorry.”
Derek is the first to say, “Robert, you couldn’t have known. It’s not your fault. You thought he was an ally. We’ve all made mistakes like that.”
Her father nods but does not look like he believes her brother-in-law.
Sue asks, “Dad, are you sicker?”
“I’m afraid I am, Susan,” he says. “I have had flair-ups before but nothing like this.”
Reagan looks at Grandpa, and he shakes his head. She knows he doesn’t want Robert to know that he could’ve been poisoned or whatever Parker intended. There is no cure for poisoning. Especially not now.
“Are you…are you going to be ok?” Sue asks next.
“I’m not, Susan,” he says and coughs again. “That’s why I wanted you to come here. Your grandfather and I talked the last time he visited, and we came to some decisions on some things we thought the family should be a part of.”
“Like what?” Hannah asks this time.
Grandpa addresses this, “We have a problem on the base now, a loyalty issue. We believe there are still people here who could be loyal to Parker, so we need to address this before moving forward. Do any of you have any suggestions?”
Beside her, John sighs and says, “It’s going to be difficult. We don’t have any idea who might still be loyal to him.”
“I’ve been dictating a list with Lucy’s help,” Robert explains. “It has every person on it who works directly with Parker. I believe most of them are simply innocent in aiding his madness, but there are a few that even I started suspecting. I’ve had her star those names.”
“Good, that’s a good start,” Derek states. “I’ve got a few ideas, as well. We’ll discuss those later. The tactic may not be suitable for everyone to hear. We also still have Sofia in town locked up. I think she’ll help if she can.”
Reagan figures he’s probably right. Hannah and Sue don’t need to know how lethal and unyielding their husbands can be when the situation calls for it, especially if he intends to torture people to get them to talk.
“Derek,” her father says, “we’d like you to run the fort when I’m gone, whenever that might be.”
“Wh…what?” Hannah stammers.
“How’s he going to run the fort from the farm?” Reagan asks.
“He won’t,” Grandpa says and stands to face them. “Derek and Sue and the children would live here, and they could run the fort.”
“For how long?”
“I was hoping Sue would help with the school,” Lucy adds.
For some reason, Sue isn’t saying much.
“Wait,” Reagan says. “Did you know about this, Sue?”
“Derek and I talked to Grandpa a while back about it, but we thought it would be something far into the future someday.”
“No!” Reagan blares, not caring what anyone thinks. She’s angry. “Bullshit! You guys aren’t leaving the farm!”
“Reagan, calm down,” Grandpa tries.
“No, I absolutely will not calm down,” she retorts with anger. “He brought Parker into our lives. He brought all these fucking people here. And now we are supposed to what? Just pick up on his pet project re-establishing the country and clean up his messes? This is not fucking happening.”
“Reagan,” Hannah says quietly.
Robert holds up his hand and says, “I’m sorry I brought Parker into your lives. I never should’ve trusted him…”
“No, you shouldn’t have, Robert,” she says, using his first name, which she knows pisses him off. He flinches slightly but not from anger. He just looks hurt. Too bad. “His character was just like yours. Absent!”
“Reagan!” Grandpa yells, startling her. “Enough, young lady. We talked to Derek about this already. Or, at least, I did. We discussed this as a possibility months ago. These people have followed Robert in the hopes of having a new life here, a life without fear, or hunger, or malice. They need leadership. Who better to lead people on a righteous path than your sister and brother-in-law? Derek is a good man. He will set down a rule of law here. He’s a natural-born leader. People will flourish here as a community under his leadership and guidance. Perhaps it will even continue to grow.”
“And what about the people out there in the groups the kids found who were still following Parker?” John asks, rubbing his hand in a soothing nature up and down on her lower back. It doesn’t help. Not this time. “We don’t know anything about them, but they’re all waiting for their fearless leader to show up and lead them to the promised land. Which just so happens to be here.”
“Do they know this is where they will be coming?” Sue asks.
“Who knows?” John says. “The car dealer’s not exactly a forthcoming person with information when he doesn’t want to be. And he’s a snake oil salesman. And now we can’t question Parker.”
“That much is true,” Kelly says.
“We would have to vet them,” Derek comments after a long pause falls over the room.
“What do you mean?” Reagan asks.
Her brother-in-law sighs. “We can’t leave that many people out there. We found at least three communities so far that he runs. We could look at them on an individual basis. Vet them for safety. Absorb them into our community. It would take some time. They’d have to earn our trust. I probably wouldn’t even look at that until spring. Absorbing hundreds of people into the fort in the middle of winter would be dangerous to food stores.”
“And we have the bigger problem right now of figuring out who held loyalty to Parker and who betrayed the general,” Kelly points out.
“Exactly,” Derek agrees.
“No,” Reagan says again. “You aren’t moving here.”
“It’s not a done deal,” Sue explains more gently.
“Good.”
Sue walks over and touches her cheek. “Honey, we’re still in the planning phases of any of it anyway. Nothing has been decided for sure. We need more information. We probably wouldn’t even move until spring, right, Derek?”
He looks at the ground.
“Right, Derek?” Reagan repeats. “This is bullshit. He has already decided. It’s a done deal. I can see it in your eyes, Derek. You’re leaving the farm.”
“Not leaving,” he says quietly. “I would not be leaving forever. This is important, though, Reagan. The President is still coming. He’s less than a hundred miles out according to what Parker told Paige.”
“So what? That’s not our problem, either.”
“But it is,” her father says. “It’s everyone’s problem if he comes with the intention of annihilating the entire base. Parker has sewn some seeds of hatred of us all in the President’s heart. I think he has been manipulating the President and me. When he lost his wife…” Robert states and pauses, taking a deep breath. “that was when he changed. I think that’s also when Parker started to go to work on the situation. He knew what he was doing. He turned us against each other. The President was vulnerable, and I also believed him. I feel like a fool, but at the time, I believed him. We’d been together from the start. He was a trusted advisor. He had a way that made me trust him. I’m sure Ezra feels the same way.”
“I don’t care if the President trusts him. I don’t care if you did. We’re not involved in this fight,” Reagan says.
“But you are,” Robert says. “If he’s angry enough to come here, he’s coming to take over. There can only be one outcome. We must prepare ourselves for what is coming between us and his army. And there isn’t a lot of time.”
“How long?” Sue asks.
“Maybe a week. Maybe less, depending on how many people he’s bringing with him. He has the numbers to wipe us out if he chooses.”
Reagan wonders if it will ever end. She is so tired of all this war and killing and disease. Sometimes she feels she might go mad from it all.
“We’ll need to make a stand,” her father says.
A hush falls over the room as they all contemplate the idea of going to war with the President and his men. Reagan can’t even fathom what it could mean. Her family, John, her children, they could all be killed.
“What’s our plan of action?” John finally asks.
“I would feel better if you all brought your families and stayed here for the next few weeks. I’m assuming he’ll come directly here because Parker probably told him I was here.”
“No, way,” Reagan says. “I’m not leaving the farm.”
“I have to say that I agree with Reagan,” John says. “I would rather the women stay on the farm with the kids. I don’t want them here if that’s where this is going to go down.”
“No, all of us,” she corrects him. “We all stay on the farm together.”
“If he’s right, Robert’s going to need us here. We’ve got the experience to lead men in battle,” her husband explains patiently.
“John!” she exclaims with a mixture of fear and anger.
“It’s the right thing to do, babe,” he says.
Kelly, standing behind Hannah, agrees with her husband. “He’s right. I assume you have scouts out somewhere now that you know where Parker’s men spotted the President?”
Her father nods. “Yes, they’ll keep me informed when the President gets closer.”
“We’ll draw up formal battle plans, sir,” Derek states. “I’ll get on it today with John and Kelly. We’ll double check your security. We’ll fix holes and leaks we find. We’ll get this figured out. Don’t worry. We’re not going to sit by idle while this camp is defeated.”
“We need some time to talk, Robert,” Grandpa says.
“Yes, of course, you do,” her father says and coughs again. His breathing has become shallower. “Please, get something to eat and rest. We can talk again tonight.”
She is the last one to exit the room. Reagan turns back to see her father’s eyes close and not reopen. He looks exhausted and very ill.
They spend the next three hours debating everything that was covered in their meeting with him. In the end, she has a sickening feeling that her sister and Derek and their children are going to leave the farm. It is decided that the men do need to be present for the impending battle with the President. She doesn’t agree with any of it, though, and knows she’ll never sleep tonight. This is the worst possible scenario she could’ve thought up. She never expected this. She can’t bear to think of her family moving away, not one of them.
John taps Kelly on the shoulder and says, “Hey, let’s rustle up some grub for everyone.”
“Huh? Yeah, sure,” he says and stands to leave their apartment, the one her grandfather stays in.
“Yes, I could use the walk,” Derek chimes in. Then her grandfather joins the group.
Soon, it is just she and her sisters sitting alone in the living room.
“More tea?” Hannah asks and stands to pour another cup from the setting on the coffee table.
“No, no, thanks, Hannie,” Sue replies.
“Reagan?”
She is too lost in thought to answer. Hannah is not one to be ignored, though and repeats her question. “No, thank you.”
Reagan rises, as well, and begins pacing with pent-up energy and frustration.
“I just can’t believe this,” she starts. “He ruins everything. He fucking ruins everything!” Reagan rants, ending on a shout that startles Hannah.
“Darling,” Hannah reprimands with sympathy edging into her gentle voice.
“What?” Reagan asks on a pout. “This is total bullshit. I don’t want you to live here, Sue. It’s not safe.”
“It is, Reagan,” she answers. “But I won’t be far. I won’t be gone forever. I’ll only be a few hours north of the farm. And this place is very safe. Robert has a lot of security measures in place.”
“Bull.”
Sue sighs and comes to stand in front of her. Without another word of argument, her sister pulls her in and hugs her. Reagan stiffens. Although touching isn’t so bad now when her family does it, she doesn’t want her anger to dissipate.
“It’s going to be alright,” she says. “It’s all going to be alright. These people need us, Reagan. They need a man like Derek to lead them. If ever there was a man incapable of being corrupted, it’s him. You know that. He can be so much help here.”
“I don’t care,” Reagan says and pulls back. “I don’t care about any of these people, Sue. I only care about you guys. I only care about my family, about my sisters.”
Tears threaten to spill over. This is too painful.
“We care about you, too, my love,” Sue says patiently. “But this is what’s right. It’s what’s right for us right now. We’ll come home. Someday when the fort is more self-sufficient. Someday when there isn’t so much turmoil in the world. Someday when our work here is done. They need our help.”
“We need you, too,” she pleads.
Hannah joins them and hugs Reagan around the waist. “We’ll be together soon enough.”
“It just feels so wrong. I don’t want this.”
“None of us want this, my love,” Sue acknowledges. “You think I want to leave my sisters? It broke my heart even to consider it. But, with time, you’ll see the sense of it just like I did.”
Reagan shakes her head against Sue’s shoulder.
“It’ll be ok,” Hannah says and breaks. Tears roll from her sightless eyes in gushing waves.
“This is dangerous,” Reagan tries again.
“It’s just temporary,” Sue says in a soft tone. She is also weeping lightly.
Hannah has wrapped her other arm around Sue. They are a three-headed hugging ball of crying goop and emotions.
“Grams wouldn’t like this,” Reagan reminds her.
“No,” Hannah agrees.
Sue says, “I know. She wouldn’t. That’s so true. Oh, I can’t bear to be away from you both. I love my sisters. I know it’s going to be hard. The only way I can even consider it is if we’re going to be together again.”
“We will,” Hannah says and sniffs hard.
Reagan doesn’t answer, certainly doesn’t agree with them. She is much too pragmatic to be so hopeful and optimistic. Bad things happen all the time now. Instead, she strokes Hannah’s pale hair and rests against Sue’s shoulder.
Later they eat dinner when the men return with trays and her grandfather. Lucy comes to tell them that their father is sleeping and requested that they meet again in the morning instead. He is simply too exhausted to continue tonight. So, instead, they speak more on the impending separation, the President, and the fort without him present. Reagan refrains from saying anything more. She is afraid she will lose all self-control completely and cry like a three-year-old little girl. It’s how she feels inside at the thought of being separated from her sister.
They retire around eleven p.m., and Reagan talks to John about her real feelings. He is always the only one with whom she can share such deep emotions. He strokes her head while she rests on his chest where she eventually falls asleep.
“Reagan,” her grandfather says in her dream. Strange. She’d been dreaming of Grams. She was young, her gray hair a dark brown again. She was beautiful and wearing a bright red dress and was slow dancing with her grandfather. “Reagan, wake up, child.”
Beside her, John is already on his feet.
“Grandpa?” she asks, rubbing at her tired eyes. He leans close and strokes her cheek, the one with the faded white scar as if he is trying to soothe her.
“Get up, Reagan. It’s your father. You’d better come quickly.”