Chapter Thirty-Three

Faith

Faith put every bit of frustration, confusion, grief, and longing behind the kiss, and she wasn’t surprised at all when Kyle thawed out and kissed her back. This day had epically sucked, and she needed to take it out on someone.

This seemed like a good way to do it.

He pulled away. “We’re not exactly in the safest place. We’re kind of hanging over a bottomless pit.”

“What, you don’t like kissing me, hanging over a bottomless pit?” She pushed herself to her feet. “And it’s not that bottomless. Musicians sit in there and don’t complain.”

He stood. “They must be braver than I am.”

“Maybe.” She took his hand and tugged him across the stage and behind the curtain. Sets rested along the walls, and dust, costume scraps, and discarded script pages littered the floor. It was dark and quiet, though. And private. “How about here?”

He looked confused. “What about here?”

“To kiss me.”

“Are you sure that’s what we should be doing?”

Faith wound her arms around his neck. “Definitely. I’m a girl who needs kissing, and badly.”

He untangled her arms and for a second, she thought she felt his hands shake. But then his face did that closed-off thing she hated. “Or maybe you’ve had a really awful day and you aren’t thinking this through.”

She put her hands on her hips. “Is it me? Am I not good enough for you?”

“I think we both know that’s not true.” He looked away. Shifted from foot to foot like he wanted to be anywhere but there.

“No.” Her temper flared. Maybe kissing wasn’t what she needed after all. Maybe she needed to vent to someone. “This shutting-down crap has to stop. Either you want to be with me, or you don’t.”

“I’m not doing this with you right now.”

He turned to go, and the dam broke on her frustration. “We’re all messed up inside, Kyle. All of us have baggage. Why won’t you let me in?”

He stopped but didn’t turn around. “Because this is who I am.”

“And I think that’s bullshit.” She stared at his back. His fists were clenched…and shaking. She sucked in a breath. “This isn’t about us at all, is it? It’s about you. Look, there’s nothing so bad that I won’t understand. Let me try. You can trust me.”

He shook his head, and his shoulders slumped. “I can’t trust anyone.”

Kyle left her. The door squeaked as it opened, and slammed shut a second later.

The only sound left was the swish of the curtain against the floor.

“He did what?” Violet yelled. Her face was purple with fury. She’d come over as soon as Faith broke down trying to tell her what happened.

Faith waved a hand, hoping she looked as unaffected as Kyle. Too bad she was affected. “It’s over now. He can go be broody and dark somewhere else.”

“Says the girl with tearstains on her face and a runny nose.” Vi cracked her knuckles. “He better stay clear of me the next few days.”

“Why would he think he can’t trust anyone?” Faith rubbed at her eyes. “God, things are so messed up right now.”

Vi put her arm around Faith’s shoulder and snuggled close. “They are, but you’re strong and you can take it.”

Her heart throbbed painfully. “Are you sure?”

“I am.” Violet stood and brushed Faith’s hair off her forehead. “You know…”

Faith’s eyes narrowed. “What?”

She sighed. “He fooled me, too.”

After a quick hug, she trotted downstairs, leaving Faith alone. Anytime Vi left a room, there was a void, like all the good mojo left with her. Faith sank down on her bed, hugging a pillow. She hadn’t imagined it, then. Kyle had been attracted to her, and not just as a quick hookup or disposable girl.

For some reason, knowing that made the rejection hurt worse.

Her phone buzzed on her nightstand. She reached for it, thinking Vi had forgotten something, but it buzzed again, and again. Someone was calling instead of texting, but she didn’t recognize the number.

She allowed the call. “Hello?”

“Faith?” a slightly out-of-breath male voice asked.

“Yeah.” She frowned. “Cade?”

“Oh, good. I was worried you might think I was a creeper and hang up.”

She smiled despite her mood. “No one could ever think you’re a creeper.”

“That depends on whether or not Scarlett Johansson got all ninety-seven of my letters.”

Faith’s mouth dropped open. “Uh, what?”

“I kid, I kid,” he said. “Faith, I called to apologize. I never should’ve asked Kyle to come tonight.”

He sounded so upset, she forgave him immediately. “You thought you were doing something helpful. And that’s sweet.”

“On my part, maybe.” Cade sounded bitter, so unlike him. “I’d hoped…never mind. It doesn’t matter so much now.”

“What did you hope?” she asked cautiously.

There was a long pause. “I hoped Kyle might pull himself together. He’d lose his ever-loving shit if he knew I was telling you this, but he doesn’t know what to do with his feelings, so he stuffs them in a jar.”

“Are we talking about Kyle Sawyer?” she asked. “Badass, I-bone-college-girls, loner Kyle?” Even saying it sounded fake.

Cade laughed. “One and the same. Anyway, I wanted you to know how sorry I am.”

“Don’t be.” Cade’s saying Kyle stuffed his feelings away matched her own suspicions. What could possibly be so bad that he felt like he had to shut everyone out—shut her out?

She sighed. No matter how frustrated he made her, she couldn’t stop caring. “Is he okay?”

Cade laughed again. This time there was a wry quality to it, like he was letting her in on a joke. “No, but after I’m through with him, he might be.”

He hung up, and Faith dropped her phone on the bed, feeling like pieces of a puzzle were falling into place, but also knowing she might never have the whole picture.