England, Summer 1813 (or a variation thereof)
More than a year later
England was a different place, but perhaps that was good.
The past year in Boston had been nothing but sheer torture for Nathanial. Everywhere he went he found himself reminded of a life shared with Abigail. Countless places whispered of her presence, and he could hardly turn a corner without seeing her face.
Mostly before his inner eye.
But every once in a while, their paths would cross for real. He would walk into a ballroom and find her blue eyes turning to meet his. He would see her smile at him from across the room, the look in her eyes whispering of the shame she, too, felt. How could she not?
Her life, too, had been turned upside down.
At first, the scandal surrounding her broken engagement had sent Abigail fleeing from Boston in the dead of night. She had retreated to the country, no doubt nursing her wounded pride, waiting for the gossip to subside. Nevertheless, when she had returned months later, hushed whispers and ill-concealed stares still continued to follow her wherever she went.
More than once, it had seemed that she wished to speak to him. But Nathanial had always evaded her, unable to look into those familiar blue eyes and remain steadfast in his resolve. He knew he was still weak as his heart went out to her whenever her face fell at overhearing the snide comments whispered too loudly for her to ignore. He wanted to comfort her, heal her wounds and assure her that all would be well again.
But it would be a lie.
Nothing would ever be the same again.
Her foolish decision had made certain of that.
It had doomed them both.
The carriage swayed slightly as it drew up a small slope, cutting through the English countryside. The sun shone brilliantly, and it seemed the whole world was in bloom. Different shades of green sparkled outside his window, mingling with deep violets, bright yellows and radiant blues. Nathanial could hear the soft trilling of birds nearby and spotted a few flitting across the sky before seeking refuge in a nearby tree.
Indeed, the world at large was a beautiful place.
Nathanial’s, however, was not.
Leaning out the window, Nathanial saw Pembroke Hall come into view. It was, indeed, a beautiful estate, and a part of him felt as though he already knew it well. After all, Zach had written countless letters to him about all the renovations he’d had done on the place after their late uncle had allowed it to fall into disrepair.
No doubt, it had been his brother’s way of trying to distract him.
Although Zach’s attempt had been in vain, Nathanial had been grateful.
As the carriage pulled up in front of the wide entrance, Nathanial made to disembark when he spotted his brother hurrying out the door. “Nathanial! Finally!” A large smile rested upon Zach’s face, and he moved with the agility of a man who’d conquered the world.
Although Nathanial was happy to see his brother after almost two years apart, he could tell that the smile upon his own face felt like no more than a bad imitation of his brother’s.
Being identical twins, they had always looked alike. In fact, only their parents had been able to tell them apart without difficulty. Now, however, Nathanial knew that would no longer be the case. Zach radiated happiness while he, Nathanial, did not.
It was as simple as that.
“Brother!” Zach pulled him into a bear hug, joyous laughter rumbling in his throat. “It’s been forever!”
Sighing, Nathanial returned his brother’s embrace, relieved to feel sparks of joy shoot through his useless heart. “It’s been too long.” For a moment, Nathanial closed his eyes and savored the embrace of someone who truly loved him.
Clapping him on the back, Zach took a step back, his blue eyes watchful. “You should have come sooner,” he remarked and although his smile never faltered, Nathanial could see the slight narrowing of his brother’s eyes. “How are you?”
Nathanial shrugged. “I’m perfectly fine.”
“Are you?” Zach pressed, and his hand on Nathanial’s shoulder tightened. “Quite frankly, you look miserable.”
Nathanial chuckled, a dark sound if ever there was one. “Charming as ever.”
“Truthful as ever,” Zach countered.
Nathanial nodded, only now appreciating the honesty and openness that had always existed between them. Indeed, it was something utterly rare!
Zach sighed, his eyes lingering on Nathanial’s in a most unsettling way. “Have you seen her…since?”
Nathanial shrugged. “It was not to be avoided.”
Zach frowned at his short, clipped reply. “You still love her.” It wasn’t a question.
That muscle in his jaw twitched as he gritted his teeth. “I’d prefer not to speak of it,” he replied without meeting his brother’s gaze. “If you don’t mind, I’d…” Nathanial knew not how to end that sentence. Fortunately, his brother knew him well.
“Of course,” Zach replied, once more clasping a companionable hand on Nathanial’s shoulder. “You must be weary from your long journey.” He paused and a hesitant grin snuck onto his face. “However, my wife is most eager to meet you. I’m afraid you’ll not get around making her acquaintance here and now.”
Nathanial almost cringed at the mention of his brother’s wife. Why, he could not say. Always had he seen himself as a family man, longing for marriage and family. Now, however, not only the world had changed.
But he himself had as well.
Still, there was no avoiding the inevitable, and so Nathanial nodded to his brother. “Lead the way.” Following Zach inside, he let his gaze sweep the large entry hall. Tall windows allowed for the sun to reach inside and light up the world within, creating a warm and welcoming atmosphere. The walls shone in vibrant colors, speaking to the adventurous character his brother had always possessed. As had his wife, if Zach’s letters were any indication.
“I’ve told her all about you,” Zach whispered with a smirk as he glanced at Nathanial over his shoulder. With quick steps, he moved toward a set of double doors. “She wanted to meet you right away, but decided to give us a moment alone together.”
Nathanial could hear how deeply his brother had fallen for the woman he had married, and he could only hope that Zach would not also wake one day to realize that it had all been a lie. For his brother’s sake, he prayed that day would never come. For his own, Nathanial decided to focus on the small bit of silver lining; the only one he could spot.
Abigail had betrayed him before he had made her his wife. For that, he would always be grateful.
The door to the drawing room swung open and Nathanial’s eyes fell on a slender, young woman with deep auburn hair framing a kind face. Her eyes were of a startling green, and the smile that lit up her face the moment she beheld his brother made Nathanial yearn for the good old days when he had still been blind to the truth.
Life had been simpler then.
Easier.
Pleasant.
Rising from the settee, the new Lady Pembroke strode over to her husband’s side, her arm slipping through the crook of his with an ease that spoke of a deep connection. “It is so wonderful to finally welcome you here,” she exclaimed, exchanging a meaningful look with her husband. “Zach speaks of you so fondly. I do not have a brother or sister myself, but I have a cousin who is like a sister to me, and the thought of not seeing her for so long is quite painful.” Her gaze moved back and forth between the two men. “You must have lots to talk about.”
Nathanial gave her a quick bow. “I was happy to receive my brother’s letter, inviting me to join you in the upcoming festivities, Lady Pembroke.”
A soft chuckle left her lips. “Oh, please, will you call me Becca?” Her gaze moved back to meet her husband’s, who looked like a love-sick pup. Nathanial envied him! “And I will call you Nathanial for I am determined we shall be the best of friends.”
Zach laughed. “You better agree, Brother, for she always gets her way.”
Nathanial cringed, but tried to maintain an even expression. “Of course, if that is your wish, Lady Pembroke.”
His new sister-in-law’s brows rose as she fixed him with a determined gaze.
Nathanial sighed. “Becca.”
“Much better!” Becca beamed, then pulled her husband toward the settee. “Come and have a cup of tea,” she told Nathanial, already pouring the steaming liquid. “I’m sorry you couldn’t be at the wedding, but…” Again, husband and wife exchanged one of those meaningful glances. “It all happened rather unexpectedly.” A wide smile decorated her face.
Indeed, Zach had written to Nathanial to inform him that he had, in fact, managed to retrieve their father’s ring. However, he would not have been able to do so if a young woman by the name of Rebecca Hawkins had not insisted to lend a hand. Working together, they had fallen in love and the night they’d finally procured the ring, Zach had whisked her away to Gretna Green.
Further details eluded Nathanial, and that was quite all right with him. It seemed, at present, he was unable to join in the joy clearly written on their faces.
Involuntarily, his gaze dropped…and came to rest upon the small, emerald ring resting upon Becca’s delicate finger. It felt like a knife had been run through his heart, and he couldn’t quite manage to keep that muscle in his jaw from twitching furiously.
Had it always done this? Or had it been Abigail’s betrayal that had brought it about?
“I’m so sorry,” Becca mumbled, her eyes soft and filled with sadness by the time Nathanial managed to look up once more. Her fingers twirled his father’s ring gently. “I will not wear it if it pains you,” she assured him. “I…I had not thought…”
For the first time that day, Zach’s face betrayed a sense of unease as he met Nathanial’s gaze. “Yes, Brother, please, tell us truthfully. You wrote that…but I didn’t stop to think that…” He swallowed hard.
Nathanial sighed. Neither did I.
In his initial letter, Nathanial had not only asked Zach to retrieve the ring, but he had also told him to give it to the woman of his choice. Still, it seemed neither one of them had considered what it would be like for Nathanial to see the ring he’d once given to Abigail upon the finger of his brother’s new bride.
Seeing it now, Nathanial couldn’t help but wonder what life would be like if Abigail had not given it away. Would they be married now? Would they be happy? Or would they have realized by now that what had been between them had not been enough? At least not for her?
Nathanial smiled at his new sister-in-law, doing his best to push away the bitterness that threatened to lace his words. “Keep it, dear Sister. May it bring you and my brother the same happiness that our parents found with each other.”
“Thank you, Nathanial.” A warm smile lit up Becca’s face. Then she drew in a deep breath, and the left corner of her mouth quirked ever so slightly. “We have a toad in our pond, and I’ve named her Abigail. I thought the name was fitting.”
Although Becca’s outright manner caught him off guard, Nathanial could not help but crack a small smile. “It does, indeed.”
Perhaps Zach had chosen wisely after all and would be happy for all the days to come.
Nathanial prayed it would be so.