7

Inspector Cheddar was in a good mood. The meeting with the Chief Inspector of Bigsworth had gone surprisingly well. The Chief Inspector had been very friendly. He had even commented about how shiny Inspector Cheddar’s badge was. Better still, he had given him a Very Important Job to do.

‘I want you to be in charge of security at the Toffly Hall antiques fair,’ the Chief Inspector said. ‘There will be lots of valuable things on display, including the Tofflys’ tiara. The eyes of the world will be on Littleton-on-Sea. We don’t want to take any risks. Do you understand, Cheddar?’

‘Yes, sir. You can rely on me, sir!’

‘You get this right, Cheddar, and you could be in for a promotion – Scotland Yard, even. You get it wrong and you’ll be back on traffic cones.’

Inspector Cheddar had no intention of getting it wrong. Organising the security at the Toffly Hall antiques fair was exactly the sort of job he’d been trained for. No sneaky, low-life crook was going to get past him and his officers. He would see to that.

Inspector Cheddar arrived home at six o’clock. He opened the front door quietly. He was a little earlier than usual and he wanted to surprise the children. He tiptoed into the hall, closed the door gently behind him and hung his jacket up on the coat stand. Then he stood for a moment, listening.

To his surprise, the house was silent.

Inspector Cheddar frowned. He’d been expecting to hear shrieks of laughter coming from upstairs and the sound of splashing water. The children normally had tea at five and then a bath, one after the other, at six. That’s strange, he thought. Where is everyone? Mrs Tucker was normally a stickler for routine.

He made his way through to the kitchen. Phew! It stank of fish. Sardines, if he wasn’t very much mistaken. What a pong! He’d never been very keen on sardines.

Holding his nose with one hand, Inspector Cheddar took off his cap with the other, threw it on the table and hurried to open the back door.

To his horror, it was unlocked.

Inspector Cheddar was furious. Wasn’t he always telling Mrs Tucker not to leave the doors and windows unlocked when she went out? Anybody could walk in off the street! Why, if this were the city they wouldn’t have a stick of furniture left!

Muttering to himself, he went to fill the kettle. A pile of dirty dishes was stacked in the sink. Inspector Cheddar stared at them. What was going on? Mrs Tucker never left dirty dishes in the sink. Anxiously, he checked the fridge. Apart from a pint of milk, some eggs and a few potatoes, it was empty. Inspector Cheddar’s eyebrows shot up. Something was definitely wrong. Mrs Tucker always left supper for him and Mrs Cheddar in case they were late home from work.

He gulped. An awful thought had occurred to him. Something must have happened to Michael or Callie.

Inspector Cheddar rushed to the table and snatched up his cap.

It was then he saw the note, lying beneath it. He held it up.

Inspector Cheddar let out a sigh of relief. He read the note again. A surprise! He loved surprises. What adorable children he had. Callie was so sweet; Michael was so thoughtful. And Mrs Tucker – she might leave back doors unlocked and talk a lot of nonsense about navigating cats and battles with sea monsters but her heart was in the right place. He began to regret losing his temper at breakfast. Perhaps a pet wouldn’t be so bad as long as it wasn’t anything too big.

He thought for a moment. He didn’t want anything furry. Mice gave him the creeps. So did rats. Rabbits scratched the furniture and there was something about guinea pigs and hamsters he didn’t trust. What then? Suddenly he had a brainwave. Goldfish! They were friendly and fun. And they only cost 50 pence! Inspector Cheddar rubbed his hands happily. He couldn’t wait to tell Michael and Callie when they got home. They’d be thrilled. He would take them to the pet shop at the weekend and let them choose their very own goldfish.

Pleased with his decision, Inspector Cheddar decided to get changed. He went back into the hall and put one foot on the stair. Then he froze.

THWUMP! A sound came from somewhere upstairs. Inspector Cheddar swallowed. His hands started to shake. A burglar! Inspector Cheddar’s good mood evaporated. He went purple, then white. It was just as he feared. The burglar must have sneaked in the back door and gone upstairs when everyone was out.

He thought fast. What he should really do was phone the station and ask for help. On the other hand, burglars didn’t often appear in Littleton-on-Sea (never, actually, since he had arrived) and this was his Big Chance to catch one red-handed. Inspector Cheddar took a deep breath. Blow the station! He would handle this himself. He still had the advantage. The burglar didn’t know he was there. He’d been as quiet as a mouse when he came in because he wanted to surprise the children. Well, it wasn’t the children who were in for a surprise. It was the sneaky snoop snaffling through his sock drawer searching for swag who was going to get it in the snout. Inspector Cheddar grabbed an umbrella from the coat stand and crept up the stairs.

At the top he paused. A strange noise was coming from the main bedroom – a sort of low rumbling, like a car engine. What on earth was it? Inspector Cheddar listened carefully. He pushed open the door slowly. The noise stopped.

‘I know you’re in there,’ Inspector Cheddar said loudly.

‘Come out with your hands up.’

‘Don’t make me come in and get you.’

‘I’m an Officer of the Law.’

Inspector Cheddar swallowed. This was harder than he’d thought it would be. ‘All right.’ He raised the umbrella. ‘You’ve asked for it.’

The Inspector rushed into the bedroom, tripped over Atticus, who was on his way out, and banged his head on the end of the bed.

‘You might have told me!’ Inspector Cheddar sat on the sofa holding a bag of frozen peas to his forehead.

Mrs Cheddar had just got back. ‘I didn’t know!’ she protested. ‘And anyway, the children said they’d left him in their bedroom with the door shut. They just popped out to get him some cat food. You weren’t supposed to find out about him until they got home.’

‘You gave the poor animal a nasty fright!’ Mrs Tucker scolded. ‘Sneaking about like that.’

‘I gave him a nasty fright!’ Inspector Cheddar repeated incredulously. ‘What about me?!’

Mrs Tucker scowled. ‘He probably thought you were a burglar. He’s terrified. The children can’t get him down from the top of the cupboard.’

‘The question is what are we going to do with him?’ Mrs Cheddar interrupted anxiously.

‘Well, he can’t stay here,’ Inspector Cheddar said firmly.

‘But, darling,’ Mrs Cheddar exclaimed, ‘you can’t just turn the poor animal out. He’s lost!’

’And he’s had a fright,’ Mrs Tucker said. ‘He’ll get run over. Then what will the children say?’ She glared at Inspector Cheddar. ‘They don’t forget things, children. Like elephants, they are. They’ll probably never forgive you.’

Just then Callie came rushing into the living room clutching a bag of treats. It was half empty. ‘We got him down!’ she cried.

‘Here he is!’ Michael followed immediately behind Callie. He was carrying Atticus in his arms. Atticus was purring throatily.

‘Oh, aren’t you lovely!’ Mrs Cheddar sprang up and started petting him.

‘I’ll get his basket!’ Mrs Tucker rushed off to the kitchen. ‘He needs a lie-down after a shock like that.’

‘But he’s been lying down all afternoon!’ Inspector Cheddar protested. ‘On my bed!’

‘Our bed, darling,’ Mrs Cheddar corrected him gently.

‘He can stay, right, Dad?’ Michael asked. ‘At least until we find out who he belongs to?’

‘I really don’t …’ Inspector Cheddar began.

‘I think he should,’ Mrs Cheddar interrupted firmly. ‘At least for tonight.’

Atticus lifted his head wearily. He gazed at Inspector Cheddar with mournful green eyes.

‘I still say …’ Inspector Cheddar tried again.

‘Look at him, poor little lamb!’ Mrs Tucker returned with the basket. ‘I’d hate to think of him out there all alone! Anything might happen.’

‘Please, Dad?’ Callie begged. ‘Just for one night?’

Inspector Cheddar knew when he was beaten. ‘Oh, all right then,’ he said heavily. ‘Just for one night.’