Everything is perfect, Eliza thought, while placing the last decorative gourd on her Thanksgiving table. She took a step back and thought it again: Perfect.
For holidays as big as this, Eliza did things very methodically. She had a typed-out schedule taped to the fridge specifying when each dish needed to go into the oven and when each was due to come out. She attached Post-its to all of her serving platters and bowls advertising their future contents and lit candles infused with dried apples and cinnamon an hour before the company was due to arrive. They were the ideal accompaniment to the smell of the turkey roasting in the oven. She’d made two kinds of stuffing, sausage and oyster; candied yams; orange-zest cranberry sauce; potatoes au gratin; skillet green beans; and buttermilk biscuits.
She chilled the white wine and opened up a few bottles of red to decant. In his typical over-the-top manner, Carson had sent her a case of each the day before. She was disgusted with him, of course, and she knew that disgust would not sit well with him. If it weren’t such good wine, she might have ceremoniously dumped it.
Carson had a soft spot for Eliza, who chalked it up to ugly duckling bonding, or the fact that she made him feel welcome when Mandy’s father did quite the opposite. At the time they thought he was just being overprotective, but in hindsight, father knows best. Either way, on the rare occasions when Carson would come east with Amanda, he would always stop by Eliza’s to say hello. He seemed to love her sarcastic sense of humor and she enjoyed playing to his audience.
“You’re the most interesting thing in this mind-numbing town,” he would say, while popping some fresh-baked morsel into his mouth.
It was one of those compliments wrapped in an insult that was hard to digest. But he was like that, always keeping you guessing about what he really thought. There would be no guessing involved this time, for either of them. When he looked at Eliza he would see revulsion in return, and she knew it would pain him. At the very least, it felt good to have that kind of power against a man like Carson.
As she attached the last place card to its ceramic turkey holder, she said a little prayer that her seating chart would allow for everyone to have a good time, or at least not kill one another.
The first guests, Alison and Olivia and their babies, arrived. Eliza was excited to have two babies in the mix. Luke and the twins were quick to get on the floor and make a contest out of who would roll over first. By the time the other guests arrived, they were taking bets. Of course, Mr. Barr and Carson came at the exact same time. What are the odds of that? Eliza thought, as Luke sent Mandy to answer the door just to mess with her.
“Thanks a lot!” she teased him afterward.
“You made that bed,” he said with a laugh.
She laughed, too. That Eliza confides in him, she thought.
Pippa and Sadie were all over their dad, which was good for all involved, and Mr. Barr was happy to talk to everyone. He knew Kayla, who had been in two of his shows in high school, and although not a huge football fan, he enthusiastically joined Luke, Kevin, and Mandy’s dad to watch the college games.
There were so many helpers in the kitchen that Eliza made everyone but Kayla and Mandy leave, and the three of them got everything set on the table and buffet. At five o’clock, Eliza announced that dinner was served. Everyone began to load up their plates in that artful way one does on Thanksgiving. The colors alone were enough to make their mouths water. Soon the phrases “This is delicious,” “Yum,” and “Pass the gravy” could be heard from every direction.
The conversation was light. No politics, and everyone knew to steer away from hot-button topics. Between Olivia’s recent drama and the ominous presence of Carson Cole, it was best to keep things upbeat. And that’s how it went.
“Are you excited for the play?”
“Have you two decided what you are going to major in?”
“How do you like living on Main Street?”
“Is your baby always this good?”
Until very innocently, and quite out of nowhere, Mr. Barr said, “Kevin, I never knew that Kayla had a twin. I guess you weren’t much of a theater kid.”
“No, not at all. I spent most of my time on the lacrosse field or in shop class.”
Mandy’s dad cut in: “Is that fellow Mr. DeLuca still the shop teacher? He was on my bowling team for a season or two. Single guy, used to flirt with all the ladies.”
Hearing his name spoken at her table felt like a quick punch to her gut.
“No,” Kevin said, “I had Mr. Delgais. Mr. DeLuca was a legend, though. Everybody said he was the greatest teacher—he died recently. They dedicated the auditorium to him at graduation.”
“Oh, that’s a nice honor.”
Eliza had a hard time getting air.
Mr. Barr put down his fork. “I was completely against that. In fact, it infuriated me.”
Mandy’s father made a joke. “Why? You wanted them to save it for you?”
“Let’s just say there were rumors about him being inappropriate with some of the students. Too many for it not to be somewhat true.”
Carson rolled his eyes. “Here we go,” he said under his breath.
Amanda looked right at him and shut him down with one word: “Don’t.”
He listened and filled his mouth with turkey. As he did, Eliza said quietly, but loud enough for everyone to hear, “I was raped by Mr. DeLuca when I was seventeen.”
She looked back down at her plate and moved her food around a bit. Her daughter, Kayla, let out a gasp, followed by a teary “Mom.” Luke, who was sitting at the head of the table, dropped his wineglass, and it shattered on his plate. Red wine splattered everywhere, yet literally no one moved to clean it up. Tears trickled down Kevin’s face. And then, as they all watched, Eliza picked up her plate, still full of food, and stood up. She looked at Mandy.
“Should we clear the dishes?” she asked, in a stupor.
Amanda led her away from the table. “I think people are still eating. Why don’t we go upstairs?”
She let Amanda lead her away. Luke instructed everyone to stay put and followed them up. Sadie and Pippa were soon in tears, too; Sadie’s were quite uncontrollable. It was obvious that Carson was feeling both guilty and overwhelmed. Alison and Olivia took the girls away, offering up the babies as a good distraction. Dean Barr was ashen, completely destroyed by what his comment had ignited. Mandy’s dad tried his best to make him feel better.
By the time Mandy came down, everyone had dispersed from the table. Kayla, clearly her mother’s daughter, was bagging up the leftovers into Tupperware and Ziploc bags to send everyone home with food for when, if ever, their appetites came back. Dean approached Mandy.
“I’m going to go. I feel awful.”
“It’s OK. I’ll walk you out.”
As Amanda stepped out of the house she remembered lying on the front lawn when she was a little girl, staring at the clouds, wondering if that moment was real or just a dream. It felt a bit like that right now. Unreal.
The streetlights came on, flooding her with more memories: the hours she had spent with Eliza running around with the neighborhood kids playing Capture the Flag or Red Light, Green Light, until those same lights signaled it was time to go home for dinner. She had thought theirs was the most innocent of childhoods, until tonight.
She pictured their teenage years, dousing themselves in Love’s Baby Soft and putting on mascara on the school bus in an effort to get the attention of their teacher-crushes. At the time, flirting that way had felt just as harmless as a game of tag.
Mr. Barr interrupted her thoughts. “I’m so sorry. This is all on me.”
“Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s all on me. I’m the one who started this whole game back then to begin with. I would go on and on about how immature the boys in our grade were who were interested in me just to avoid things I wasn’t ready for. And to make matters worse, this whole time, since I’ve been back, I’ve probably been stirring it all up again, going on and on about you—about this.” She motioned to the space between them and started to cry.
Mr. Barr went to wipe her tears and she jumped back.
“I can’t,” she said. It was obvious that all that was sweet between them had instantly soured.
“I understand.” He paused and added sadly, “I don’t think I can either.”
Amanda was relieved that they were both on the same page. He continued. “I’m going to speak to the principal about taking that goddamn plaque down before the show. I should have brought up my suspicions before.”
“Well, I hope they believe you. I can’t imagine Eliza finally opening up about this and then having her integrity questioned. But it happens all the time.”
“I’ll let you know what the administrators say.”
As Mandy turned to go back to the house, she saw Carson standing behind a tree smoking.
“You’re smoking again?” she scoffed. When she got close, she could see he had tears on his face. She had only seen him cry at the movies, and not on account of the drama, on account of the box office. She was dumbfounded, yet without sympathy. She knew what Eliza had said was hard for everyone to hear, and how it had affected her was even harder to witness. But Carson deserved to hear it—and see it. She was not going to comfort him. He saw that.
“Tell the kids I say goodbye, and that I’ll see them on Sunday at the show.”
Luke came to the front door and called out to Mandy.
“OK. I have to go,” she said.
“Tell Eliza—um—forget it,” he mumbled and left.
Luke sat down on the front step. Mandy sat down next to him.
“She’s asleep,” he said. “I gave her a Valium that we had in the medicine cabinet from somewhere.” He began to cry. “When we got upstairs, I sat her down on the bed and I lifted off her sweater to put on her nightgown. Her arms were cut up. She’s been cutting herself. When she saw that I saw, she said, ‘I’m sorry, I just wanted to feel something.’”
Mandy started to cry, too. “She hasn’t been leaving the house. I should have told you, but I couldn’t betray her.”
“What?”
“She’s barely left the house since the twins’ graduation. It’s when they announced that honor for that horrible man.”
Luke filled her in on what had occurred at the ceremony. “They made a speech about him and had a slideshow. I feel sick that she had to sit through that, with everyone clapping and singing his praises.”
“It must have triggered her, Luke. She didn’t leave the house for four months in high school. We never knew why, but it must have been . . .”
She didn’t complete her sentence. She couldn’t bear to say it out loud, to hear it out loud again.
Luke wiped his eyes with the palms of his hands. “I don’t know where the hell I’ve been. How could I have missed this? It’s crazy—now, looking back, I see it. I see it all. I feel like such a self-absorbed idiot.”
He put his head in his hands for a minute before making an attempt to shake it off. As if things weren’t bad enough, a car pulled up to the house carrying Eliza’s parents.
“Oh my God,” Mandy exclaimed. “This can’t be happening.”
“And yet there they are—the ice queen, Birdie Reinhart, and her spineless husband, Herb.” Mandy recognized that Luke was in no state to deal with his in-laws.
“OK, Luke, I think you should go check on your family and leave this to me.”
“You would do that?”
“I got it. Go.”
Luke made a run for it while Mandy approached the car.
It had been years since she had seen Eliza’s parents, and their faces both lit up at the sight of her. She hated to have to break their hearts, but this secret had been kept long enough.