On October 2, 1977, I had the forehead-slapping realization that I was about to become an age above which nobody could be trusted. In fact, I’m still not sure that it makes good sense to trust people over thirty. While I had no aspirations to become a grown-up—and I think we all know what that is—I did want to be an adult who was regarded as responsible. I could no longer excuse my peccadilloes on the basis of youth. They had fallen into a less pleasant category, like bad manners.
I went to bed on the eve of my thirtieth birthday only to realize all this, and so I got back up and spent the balance of the night composing a list of advisories to myself that I called “Principles of Adult Behavior.” Most of them were blandly inarguable, the sort of platitudes that Polonius had laid on Hamlet. Because I advocated avoiding the pursuit of happiness, this particular homily served to actively piss off the broadest range of folks you could imagine.
Over the course of the ensuing years, I have done my best to keep the list posted wherever I am. And so I am going to include it here:
1. Be patient. No matter what.
2. Don’t bad-mouth: Assign responsibility, not blame. Say nothing of another you wouldn’t say to him.
3. Never assume the motives of others are, to them, less noble than yours are to you.
4. Expand your sense of the possible.
5. Don’t trouble yourself with matters you truly cannot change.
6. Expect no more of anyone than you can deliver yourself.
7. Tolerate ambiguity.
8. Laugh at yourself frequently.
9. Concern yourself with what is right rather than who is right.
10. Never forget that, no matter how certain, you might be wrong.
11. Give up blood sports.
12. Remember that your life belongs to others as well. Don’t risk it frivolously.
13. Never lie to anyone for any reason. (Lies of omission are sometimes exempt.)
14. Learn the needs of those around you and respect them.
15. Avoid the pursuit of happiness. Seek to define your mission and pursue that.
16. Reduce your use of the first personal pronoun.
17. Praise at least as often as you disparage.
18. Admit your errors freely and soon.
19. Become less suspicious of joy.
20. Understand humility.
21. Remember that love forgives everything.
22. Foster dignity.
23. Live memorably.
24. Love yourself.
25. Endure.
I don’t expect the perfect attainment of these principles. However, I post them as a standard for my conduct as an adult. Should any of my friends or colleagues catch me violating any one of them, bust me.
John Perry Barlow, October 3, 1977
I showed this list to Jerry Garcia a few weeks later and he said, “I hope your embarrassment insurance policy is paid up.”