Kyle sat on the side of his bed, weariness draped heavily over his slumped shoulders. He couldn’t remember being this tired in a very long time. The adrenaline rush of bringing down Gene Hayes had drained away, taking every ounce of his energy with it.
Everyone had treated him like a friggin’ hero after Hayes was hauled away. He’d hated that. He’d done what was necessary, nothing more. Given the chance, he’d have returned Hayes’s knife to him, point-first. Judging by the way Molly had clung to his arm, she had been well aware of that ugly fact. Which might have explained why she’d spent the rest of the day carefully avoiding looking at him.
Someone tapped on his bedroom door. Since he and Molly were the only ones in the house, it wasn’t hard to guess who it was. “What is it?”
Her voice was slightly muffled by the door between them. “May I come in?”
He sighed. If he’d thought it would do any good, he’d have told her no. But since he figured she’d just keep knocking until he changed his mind, he merely said, “Yeah. Come in.”
She entered wearing a soft green bathrobe over a white nightgown, and carrying a bottle of over-the-counter pain relievers and a glass of water. She wasn’t using the cane, and she was walking very carefully on her braced right foot. “I thought you might need these. I noticed you were moving stiffly after dinner.”
His leg was hurting from his toes to roughly the vicinity of his left ear, but he’d done his best to hide it. Guess he hadn’t been very successful at it. Pushing pride aside, he nodded and held out his hand. “Thanks.”
She sat on the bed beside him, her hands flattened on either side of her, her braced ankle stuck out in front of her. “Eventful day, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah. Tomorrow’s going to be another one.”
She refused to be distracted. “Are you hurting badly?”
“I’m okay,” he said after washing down a couple of the pills. “Just a little stiff.”
“You moved so quickly. If you hadn’t gotten that knife away from Hayes…”
“The police were on their way, thanks to Kelly’s quick thinking. Hayes was too drunk to have gotten far—but not drunk enough to actually be stupid enough to use that knife on anyone. It was mostly bluff. I just called him on it.”
“You’re determined not to take credit for rescuing Jacob, aren’t you?”
“I’m not a hero, Molly.”
She touched his hand. “I know. But you’re still a very special man.”
“Damn it.”
Her fingers laced around his. “What does that mean?”
He looked at their hands, then up at her face. “Fill in the blanks.”
She lifted her free hand to his cheek, her green eyes so luminous he could almost feel the warmth of them. “You look tired.”
“I am.”
Her fingertips slid along his jaw, lightly tracing his scar. “Anything I can do…to help you relax?”
“Molly—” he warned, wishing his voice hadn’t gone quite so hoarse.
“We only have one more night, Kyle,” she whispered, her hand still soft against his face. “Do you really want to spend it in separate rooms?”
He reached for her, tugging her roughly into his arms. “No,” he grated against her mouth.
No matter what this would cost him, he didn’t want to spend this night alone.
He laid her against the pillows, his hands on her face, his mouth moving against hers. As she had before, she responded to his every touch with an eager delight that went straight to his ego. She could almost make him believe that he was a hero, he thought in bemusement. That he was whole and strong, someone who deserved the admiration of a woman like Molly.
Even as he helped her out of her clothes, he reminded himself that after this one last night, everything would go back to the way it had been before. She would forget about him soon enough, distracted by her family and her plans to find a new job and a new apartment. There would be plenty of men lined up to try to catch her attention.
As for himself—he would go back to being the broken, brooding loner she had accused him of being. But just for tonight, he needed to make a memory to take back with him when he left.
Maybe in the future he could dream about Molly and the brief time he’d spent with her, rather than being laughed at and lectured in his sleep by a ghost.
The silver anniversary party was a spectacular success. All the months of scheming and planning, all the worry and work were well worth it when Molly saw her mother’s face as so many of the people she loved shouted, “Surprise!”
There was no doubt that Cassie and Jared were flabbergasted. Cassie shed a few tears, and even Jared was caught uncharacteristically off guard. They spent the rest of the afternoon admiring their new kitchen, chiding their family for going to so much trouble on their behalf and spending as much one-on-one time as possible with everyone who’d made the effort to share this day with them.
“You pulled it off, Molly. You really pulled it off.” Shane shook his head in a mixture of admiration and disbelief. “I have to admit there were times when I had my doubts.”
She beamed up at him, remembering the day so many months ago when she’d popped into the barn to tell him about the brilliant idea she’d had for her parents’ anniversary celebration. “I couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you, Shane.”
He leaned over to kiss her cheek. “My pleasure. Look at them, will you? They’re holding court.”
Leaning against her brother’s arm, she turned to look at her parents, who sat in the kitchen, chatting with the guests who were all but lined up to speak to them. “They’re having a great time, aren’t they? It’s so good to see everyone here. It’s funny to see so many of the guys with families of their own now, isn’t it?”
Shane looked far across the yard to where Mark Wallace, his wife, Miranda, and the four young children they were raising together were looking at one of the gentle horses Memo had brought around for the children to ride. Other former foster boys mingled around the yard, sharing memories of their time on the ranch, catching up with the people they had known back then, introducing their wives and kids to the place that had meant so much to them in different ways. “It feels good to know we had something to do with so many of them turning out so well.”
“That’s what I wanted this day to be, you know. A reminder to Mom and Dad of how important they’ve been to so many people.”
“Looks like Kyle and Daniel are catching up. They only knew each other for a couple of weeks before Daniel moved on, but they both said they remember each other.”
Following his nod, Molly studied the two men sitting at a table, drinking lemonade and chatting as dozens of others milled around them, laughing and talking, children running and playing, teenagers lounging nonchalantly in clusters. As hard as this event must have been for Kyle, he’d done a good job of hiding his nervousness, she mused. As he had in the past, he tended to stay on the outskirts of the festivities, but he seemed comfortable enough when anyone initiated a conversation with him.
Her parents had been thrilled to see him, along with the other foster boys they hadn’t seen in so long. Cassie had thrown her arms around Kyle, and Jared had shaken his hand warmly and thumped his shoulder in a masculine substitute for a hug. Kyle had seemed pleased, and rather touchingly surprised, that they remembered him so well and were still so obviously fond of him.
Molly had seen Jared and Kyle engaged in a long, apparently somber conversation at one point. She suspected they had talked of Kyle’s wartime experience, and the painful recuperation he’d been through since. If anyone could draw Kyle out about that difficult time, it would be her father, she figured, her chest aching with emotion.
As for herself, she’d had little time to talk to either Kyle or her parents since the party began. She’d been too busy making sure everyone had enough to eat, that the large tubs of ice were refilled with canned drinks, that everyone was included in the conversations and festivities.
Her parents had demanded to know why she was wearing a leg brace and using a cane, of course, but she’d assured them—with the support of Dr. Joe D’Alessandro—that her injury was healing nicely. She promised to tell them all about it later—and she was resigned to the lecture that would surely follow her explanation of how it had happened.
“Look at Jacob.” Shane nodded toward the boy who sat at the same table as Kyle and Daniel, listening to their conversation. “He hasn’t strayed far from Kyle all day. He’s going to hate saying goodbye to his new hero tomorrow.”
That was a sentiment Molly could understand all too well. But she only said, “He’ll be okay. Now that he’s been reassured he’s safe here, maybe he’ll learn to be more trusting of you and Dad and Memo.”
“I hope you’re right. Because Kyle is leaving, Molly. He’s made that very clear.”
She looked at him in surprise, wondering why he made it sound as if she were in need of the reminder, rather than Jacob. “I know that.”
Shane was looking back down at her with a sympathetic expression. “How do you feel about it?”
“I hate it as much as Jacob does. More,” she answered candidly. “But, like Jacob, I’ll get over it. You know how I am when any of our boys leaves us—I cry, and then I go on.”
Shane looked at her skeptically. “That easy, huh?”
“It’s never easy,” she murmured.
“But this time, maybe a little harder than usual?”
So maybe she hadn’t done quite as good a job of hiding her feelings about Kyle as she had hoped. Resting her head on Shane’s supportive shoulder, she sighed as she looked at Kyle again. “Maybe a lot harder this time,” she murmured.
After all, it would be the first time someone took her heart with him when he went away.
“That was so much fun. I can’t believe you went to so much trouble. And the outdoor kitchen—well, it’s just spectacular. Exactly what I’ve been wanting,” Cassie raved late that evening as she unpacked bags. “I simply can’t believe everyone did this.”
Sitting on her parents’ big bed, Molly smiled tiredly. “Everyone sort of figured the outdoor kitchen was a gift to the entire family, since we usually gather here for the big get-togethers. Michelle and Tony might have the bigger house in Dallas, but this is where everyone likes to come for the outdoor festivities in nice weather, since there’s room for ball games and horseback riding and horseshoes, and no one has to worry about the kids breaking Michelle’s family antiques.”
“We love having everyone here. As often as possible.”
“It’s good to have you home, Mom.”
Her once-fiery red hair now frosted attractively with gray, Cassie smiled lovingly at her daughter. “It’s good to be home. As much fun as we had, we missed you all. Three weeks seemed like such a long time to be away from everyone.”
“We missed you, too.”
“It was so good to see everyone. All your cousins are growing up so fast.”
Molly chuckled. “We had enough teenagers here to fill a couple of high school classrooms.”
“Everyone seems healthy and happy at the moment. That’s always a pleasure and a relief.” She closed her suitcase and set it in the closet. “It was especially nice to see so many of our boys again, and to read the sweet notes from the ones who couldn’t make it. They all look wonderful, don’t they?”
“They do. Weren’t Mark’s little girls sweet? And his wife’s twin nephews are adorable.”
“Yes. I think they make a very nice family. I had Shane take pictures of everyone, of course.”
“I noticed. Actually, there were several cameras in use all day. We’ll have plenty of pictures to enjoy.”
Cassie suddenly whirled, her expression dumbstruck. “It just occurred to me—is that how B.J. found Daniel again? Did she track him down to invite him to this party, the way you and Shane did Mark and Kyle?”
Molly laughed. “Yes. We led you to believe it was a coincidental meeting, but actually, she went looking for him.”
“I knew there was something more to that story than she told us! It never quite added up.”
“She’ll tell you all the details sometime, but I nearly had a heart attack when she brought him home several months early.”
“And you brought Kyle here. I still can’t believe you drove all that way by yourself, but I’m so glad he was here with us. I’ve missed him so much.”
“He missed you, too, Mom. He just wasn’t sure about whether he would still fit in here after being away for so long. And he’s had an especially hard time during the past year.”
“I could see that in his eyes,” Cassie murmured. “He told me that he was badly injured and that he lost a very close friend. But he seems to like his house in the Smokies.”
Molly shook her head in bemusement that Cassie had drawn so much out of Kyle in a ten-minute conversation—and she had probably done so with such skill that he’d hardly realized he was revealing so much to her. Kyle was outside now with Jared and Shane; she would love to hear what they were talking about out there.
“He’s made a good life for himself in Tennessee,” she said, looking down at her hands. “A bit isolated, maybe, but he seems content, for the most part. He’s certainly anxious to get back there.”
Cassie gave her a searching look, as if she had heard something in her daughter’s voice that concerned her. Before the conversation became any more awkward, Molly stood, wincing a little when she balanced her weight on her right ankle.
She had overused that leg today, she admitted ruefully. Joe had admonished her several times to sit down more during the day and give it a rest, advice she had generally ignored. She was paying for that now.
“Is your leg hurting you, Molly?”
” A little. I guess I should go on to bed.”
“You really should. Is there anything I can get for you? Do you need help to your room?”
“No, thanks. I’ve become an old pro at using the banister to help boost me up. I just need to give the ankle a few hours’rest. Tell Daddy good-night for me, okay?”
“I will.” Cassie gave her a warm hug. “Thank you again for the lovely party.”
Although she was glad her parents had enjoyed the surprise as much as she had hoped they would, Molly was aware of a hollow feeling inside her as she slowly climbed the stairs to her room. Maybe it was just the inevitable letdown after months of planning and anticipation, she thought. Or maybe just weariness. But she knew as her gaze fell on the empty bedroom at the end of the hallway what really depressed her.
Now that this day was behind them, there was no reason for Kyle to stay any longer. The party was over— in more ways than one.
Kyle and Shane had made arrangements to leave for the Dallas airport at ten o’clock Sunday morning. They had breakfast first with Cassie, Jared, Molly, Kelly and the girls.
Kyle didn’t say much during the meal. Watching the animated interactions going on around him at the big dining room table, he remembered what it was like when he had lived here before. Always warmly welcomed into this generous, big-hearted family, but always secretly aware that he wasn’t really one of them.
Molly, now, hers was a different story—he glanced across the table to where she sat laughing with her parents. She so obviously belonged here among the people who adored her. Who knew how to share their feelings, and to make sure she was happy and secure in their love. She had grown up surrounded by family, never lonely or ignored. She deserved nothing less now.
He had only a few minutes alone with her after breakfast to say goodbye. He’d gone up to the guest room to get his bag, and she was waiting in the hallway when he walked out.
“Do you have everything?” she asked, her voice rather strained.
“Yes.”
She nodded and tucked a long strand of gold-red hair behind her ear, her expression pensive. “Shane’s waiting for you out on the porch. The boys are there, too. They want to say goodbye.”
“Are you coming down?”
“No.” She attempted a smile, but couldn’t quite pull it off. “I don’t really want to watch you drive away.”
“Molly…” He fell silent, the sizable lump in his throat choking off his voice. Just as well, he thought grimly. He didn’t know what he would have said, anyway.
She stepped forward to give him one of her warm, so-natural hugs. “Take care of yourself, Kyle,” she murmured into his shoulder.
“You, too,” he said, resting his cheek just for a moment against her soft hair. Closing his eyes and savoring the feel of her in his arms, just for this one last time.
There were tears in her big, green eyes when he released her. He reminded himself that she always cried when one of “the boys” moved on—but it still hurt him to see them.
“I have to go back,” he said jerkily, vaguely wondering who he was really trying to convince. “Jewel and Mack have come to depend on me. And, well…I belong there.”
“I know,” she whispered, swiping at her cheek with an unsteady hand.
He didn’t add that she belonged here with her family. That was a given.
He couldn’t take any more of this. Gripping his bag more tightly in his fist, he turned abruptly toward the stairway. “Goodbye, Molly.”
She didn’t respond. She just stood there, watching him limp away.
Downstairs, Cassie and Jared waited to see him off. It seemed wryly ironic that Jared stood by a bookshelf on which were grouped framed photographs of former foster sons. Kyle’s senior portrait was among them. He had avoided looking at that photograph much while he was here. The memories tended to overwhelm him when he did.
Jared held out his weathered hand, his too-knowing navy-blue eyes searching Kyle’s face. “It was good to see you, Kyle. Thanks for coming.”
Kyle gripped Jared’s hand, and realized somewhat disconcertedly that there was still a touch of hero-worship in the way he felt about Jared Walker. “It was good to see you, too, Jared.”
“Give us a call sometime, okay?”
“I’ll do that.” And maybe he would. But then, again, he thought, remembering the tears in Molly’s eyes, maybe he wouldn’t.
He turned to Cassie then. Holding a large, sealed tin in one hand, she reached out to hug him with the other arm. Standing back then, she offered the tin. “I made a batch of cookies after breakfast,” she told him with a slightly misty smile. “I remember how much you always liked them.”
Damn. Shaken by the gesture, he nodded and said gruffly, “That was nice of you. Thanks.”
Outside on the porch, the boys waited. One by one, Kyle shook hands with Colin, Elias and Emilio, then turned to Jacob. Jacob clung to his hand a bit longer than the others, his face twitching.
“You’ll be okay,” Kyle assured him quietly. “You’re safe here. You should know that by now.”
“Will you come back sometime?”
“I don’t know,” Kyle answered honestly. “But you’ll be all right, Jacob. You’re a decent kid, with a strong heart and a good brain. Don’t screw up, okay?”
“I won’t.” Drawing a deep breath, Jacob took a step backward.
“Ready?” Shane asked, tossing Kyle’s bag into his pickup.
Kyle shook Kelly’s hand, then blinked in surprise when both the little girls threw their arms around his legs to hug him goodbye. He patted their heads awkwardly, told them to be good and then climbed into the passenger seat of Shane’s truck.
As they drove away, he couldn’t help but glance back toward the house, up to Molly’s window. A movement of the curtains there let him know that, despite what she had said, she’d watched them drive away.
Molly sat curled in a big chair in her parents’ den. A thick stack of photographs rested in her lap. One by one, she studied them, her gaze lingering on the smiling faces.
There was her aunt Lindsey, with her husband, Dr. Nick Grant, and their two teenagers, Jenny and Clay. Jared’s twin brothers, Ryan and Joe Walker, stood with their wives, Taylor and Lauren. In the background of that photo, Joe and Lauren’s twenty-two-year-old son Casey clowned around with Ryan and Taylor’s twenty-one-year-old twins, Andrew and Aaron.
Layla and Kevin Samples beamed proudly at their grown offspring, Dawne, Keith and B.J. Daniel Andreas made a handsome addition to that family, Molly mused. Layla was already hoping for grandchildren—and beginning to nag Dawne and Keith to follow their younger sibling’s marital example. Dawne claimed to be in no hurry to wed again after a youthful disaster of a marriage.
Another group snapshot showed Michelle and Tony D’Alessandro with their brood, Jason, Carly, Katie and Justin. Justin, at fourteen, was the youngest of Molly’s first cousins. Carly’s handsome fiancé was also in the shot, apparently making a place for himself within the family that had been so wary of him at first.
There were photos of Brynn and Joe D’Alessandro and their nine-year-old son, Miles Vincent, and of Joe’s parents, Vinnie and Carla D’Alessandro, still fit and sharp in their eighties. And more snapshots of the now-grown former foster boys and their families, of food being eaten and horses being ridden, of hugs and smiles and a few happy tears.
Yet, in all those photographs, she found only two of Kyle, who seemed to have an uncanny ability to avoid the lens. In one, he stood between Cassie and Jared, self-conscious for the camera, but smiling a little, nevertheless. In the other, he sat in the background of a random crowd shot, listening gravely to something Jacob was saying to him.
Her heart aching, Molly slipped those two photos out of the pile, replacing the others in the envelope. Studying the picture of Kyle with her parents, she wondered how the pain could still be this intense even three weeks after the photographs had been taken.
She had thought—hoped, really, that her feelings for Kyle would prove to be no more than a passing infatuation, and would fade when he was no longer around every day. After all, they’d spent less than a week and a half together, hardly enough time to change her entire life, right?
Wrong. Nothing had been the same since Kyle left. Her former, rather smug contentment with her safe, predictable, sheltered existence had been diluted by the suspicions that she could have much more, if only she had the courage to pursue it.
She was living someone else’s dream here, she acknowledged with a sigh. The ranch, and the group-home facilities—those were plans her parents and brother had made. She had pursued a degree in education because it had seemed useful for their plans—and though she enjoyed working with the boys, she still wasn’t pursuing a course she had mapped for herself.
She had to ask herself now if her determination to live very close to her family was due to a real desire to see them every day—or to an insidious fear of moving away. Becoming fully responsible for her own decisions, her own mistakes.
She had so often used her aunt Lindsey as an excuse, reminding herself of how many impromptu gatherings Lindsey missed by living more than five hours away from the rest of her siblings. Yet now she could see that Lindsey had a good, happy life of her own in Little Rock. She loved her extended family very much, but she didn’t have to be with them all the time to feel connected to them.
Of course, Lindsey had family in Little Rock, too, she reminded herself. She had been adopted as an infant by a couple with two sons, all of whom still lived in the Little Rock area. So it wasn’t entirely accurate to say that Lindsey’s situation was the same as Molly’s would be if she…well, if she decided to move some distance from the ranch.
“Molly?” A door closed somewhere in the house as Cassie called out to her. “Are you here?”
Slipping the photos of Kyle into the pocket of the loose black cardigan she wore with a peacock-blue T-shirt and jeans, Molly rose to her feet. She no longer wore the brace, and her ankle was almost entirely back to normal—even if nothing else was. “I’m in here, Mom.”
Cassie came in carrying several shopping bags. “I found the cutest Thanksgiving decorations for the dorm dining room. Little cornucopias and turkeys to set on the table, and some Thanksgiving napkins and placemats. They were on sale for a great price. I thought I’d set them out next week to get the boys into the spirit of the holidays.”
Forcing a smile, even though she, herself, wasn’t feeling very thankful just then, Molly said, “I can’t wait to see them. I’ll help you decorate the dorm whenever you’re ready.”
Cassie looked at her with a frown. “Are you sure your ankle isn’t hurting you, sweetie? You just haven’t been your usual self lately.”
Which was exactly the problem, Molly thought, swallowing a sigh. “It’s fine, Mom. Don’t worry about it.”
“Is there something you want to talk to me about?”
Cassie’s eyes were entirely too perceptive. Molly suspected her mother knew something had gone on between her and Kyle, but she respected Molly’s privacy. She probably assumed Molly would tell her about it when she was ready—but she was obviously getting a bit impatient for Molly to decide she was ready.
“Really, Mom, I’m okay,” she said. “Let me see the things you bought.”
For the first time in her life, Molly found herself unable to talk to her mother about a personal problem. Maybe it was because she was afraid that if she started to cry, she wouldn’t be able to stop. Or maybe this was just something she needed to handle on her own.
Or maybe, she thought, it would just hurt too much to admit that not once had Kyle even asked her if she wanted to go back with him. Which made all her agonizing over her decision to stay close to her family a painfully moot point.