Rebecca couldn’t believe the scene she had witnessed between Alastair and Arabella. She also couldn’t believe that Arabella had chosen staying with Rebecca over him.
At first, she hadn’t realised how much that meant to her. Not until she thought Arabella would cave in and go with Alastair. She had stood in the doorway willing Arabella to stay but assuming she would leave. She’d never assumed that she would have any company at this moment, but now that she had it, she was reluctant to let it go.
They both stepped back into the hospital room. Arabella paused and looked up at the clock on the wall. She turned to do the same and realised that it had just past midnight.
“Merry Christmas,” Arabella whispered.
Rebecca smiled. “Merry Christmas,” she whispered back. She gestured to her mother. “We should let her sleep.”
Arabella looked towards the bed and slowly nodded her head.
“Have you eaten yet?” Arabella asked.
“No, I came straight here.”
“Is there a place to get some food? I know how much you need to eat.” Arabella joked.
Rebecca smiled despite herself. “Yes, they have a canteen, it’s not great…”
“Surely it’s better than some of the places we stopped at?”
“Well…” Rebecca kidded.
Arabella chuckled and gestured towards the door. Rebecca took a last look at her mother before stepping out and leading Arabella towards the hospital canteen.
They walked slowly because of Arabella’s leg and in silence as Rebecca didn’t know what to say. She wanted to offer her thanks and gratitude, but she didn’t understand why Arabella was even there. And she didn’t want to say anything that might rock the boat and cause her to leave. In a very short amount of time, Arabella’s presence had become practically essential to her. She no longer thought she could do it on her own.
After a few minutes, they entered the canteen. A handful of people sat at tables, others forced to spend Christmas in hospital, either family members or workers. Some Christmas decorations had been hastily put up around the room. It was a sad attempt, and Rebecca wondered if it would have looked better without the decorations at all.
They browsed the offerings on display and, eventually, both decided on sandwiches. Arabella almost asked for coffee from the bored-looking employee, until Rebecca placed a warning hand on her forearm and softly shook her head. They both decided on tea, as it was difficult to ruin.
They sat by a window that overlooked the hospital entrance and ate in silence. In no time, Rebecca had finished a sandwich, not realising how hungry she had been. She hugged the mug of tea in her hands, enjoying the warmth.
“Thank you,” Rebecca said.
“Don’t mention it.”
“No, I have to. I really appreciate you being here.”
Arabella silently folded the sandwich wrapper and moved it to one side. She pulled her mug of tea towards her, mirroring Rebecca’s pose.
“May I ask why you never said anything? I mean, you’re perfectly within your right to keep it to yourself. I just wonder why you never mentioned it?”
Rebecca stared into the tea. “I think I wanted to be treated normally, to not have to worry about everything happening here. I could just be normal for a few minutes, or a few hours. No one looked at me with pity, no one hesitated every time they wanted to speak, in case they said the wrong thing.”
“But I did say the wrong thing,” Arabella pointed out. “And you ignored me for hours as a result. And shouted at me on the ferry.”
“I’m sorry about that.” Rebecca adjusted the mug in her hands.
“And you let me blather on about my party…”
Rebecca looked up at Arabella, chewing her lip anxiously. “I didn’t mean… I didn’t want you to…”
“I know you didn’t,” Arabella reassured her. “I just feel a little silly. Going on about how imperative it was for me to get home. When your need was so much greater.”
Rebecca shook her head. “I didn’t want it to be like that.”
“Like what?”
“You know… about me.”
“It should be about you.”
“But I don’t want that. I don’t want to be the girl whose mum is dying of cancer.”
Arabella smiled sadly. “You’re very much like your mother.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“Do.” Arabella nodded.
Rebecca took a sip of her tea. She’d been wrong, they could ruin tea. She put the mug back on the table and continued to use it as a hand warmer.
“I felt guilty,” Rebecca admitted.
“About?”
“About being in Portugal. Before I left, she was okay. I mean she was still dying, but it wasn’t as near to the end as it is now. The chance came up to go to Portugal, get a bit of extra money and make my agent happy. I went, and she started to go downhill. I shouldn’t have left.”
“You couldn’t have known that would happen. If you’d known, would you have stayed?”
“Of course.”
“There you go then. You can’t judge yourself on the unknowns,” Arabella said matter-of-factly.
Rebecca clamped her lips together to prevent from chuckling out loud. Arabella had such a black-and-white view on the world.
“You know it could happen any day now,” Rebecca said. “I mean she could, you know.”
“Yes, I had assumed.” Arabella looked down into her tea mug.
“And you’re, you’re okay with that?” Rebecca asked.
“Well, I’m prepared for it,” Arabella said.
Rebecca watched as the older woman became lost in thought, staring into the milky tea. She couldn’t understand why someone so desperate to get home to a Christmas party would suddenly abandon it to spend time with her.
Arabella was a mystery. One moment kind, another moment… not so kind. Now she was demonstrating the utmost kindness.
“I don’t get it,” Rebecca admitted.
Arabella’s eyes met Rebecca’s. “Get what?”
“You. Being here.”
“I’m not sure I do either,” she confessed. “But I am.”
Rebecca picked up her mug and quickly gulped it down. “There’s a visitors’ room, it’s nothing much. It has some sofas, and it’s where I normally sleep when I stay the night here. I don’t stay in Mum’s room, I like to let her sleep. When she rests, she is not in pain.”
Arabella sipped her tea. “Okay, that sounds like a good idea.”
Rebecca blinked, not sure if Arabella was understanding what she was saying.
“I mean, I’m going to try to get some sleep,” Rebecca clarified.
Arabella nodded. “Yes, I agreed that it’s a good idea.”
“So, you’ll be heading home?”
“No. I’ll be staying with you, if you want me to, that is? You said sofas, so I assume there’s room for both of us?”
Rebecca wanted to say yes. She desperately wanted to say yes. The visitors’ room, while appreciated, was lonely, dark, and scary. But it was no place for Arabella to stay. Arabella and her posh luggage. Arabella and her posh party dress.
She knew it was time to let Arabella off the hook.
“It’s fine, I’ll be okay,” Rebecca said. “I appreciate what you’re doing, but I’m okay on my own. You go back to your party, or back home. Whatever.”
Arabella regarded her carefully, her eyes never wavering as they took in Rebecca. Rebecca had a feeling that she was being analysed, that her every thought was being read.
“No, I’ll stay,” Arabella said finally. “I said I would, and I think you want me to.”
Rebecca stuttered for a second. “I… it’s… I mean…” She trailed off, after realising she had nothing to say.
She did want Arabella to stay. She didn’t understand how Arabella had suddenly become her support network. The idea of going through the next few hours alone was something she dreaded.
“So, it’s decided then,” Arabella said. She finished her tea, grabbed her crutch, and got to her feet. “Lead the way to this visitors’ room, I can see by the look in your eyes that it isn’t exactly the Hilton. But as long as it doesn’t have creepy porcelain dolls staring at me while I sleep, it will be a step up in the world compared to last night.”
“Wow, was that only last night?”
Arabella looked down at Rebecca and nodded her head. “Yes, it’s hard to believe that twenty-four hours ago we were in a creepy French château. Wondering whether the husband even existed.”
Rebecca laughed. She stood up and gathered their empty mugs. “I’m sure he was just busy, or shy.”
“Yeah, sure he was,” Arabella muttered with a sly smile.