Our doubts are traitors
And make us lose the good we oft might win
By fearing to attempt.
—Measure for Measure, act 1, scene 4
His peace of mind be damned for the moment.
The closer she came, the more Adam wanted to stay and see her. She looked so incredibly fresh and lovely, he had to resist the impulse to rush and greet her with a kiss.
Adam knew the second Miss Wright looked up and saw him standing directly in her pathway. Her eyes widened and brightened. She smiled at him. His lower stomach tightened and a slow throb started in his loins. Obviously she wasn’t angry with him about their late night kisses.
He watched her glance stray briefly to Pharaoh and then over to Dixon, who stood by his side, completely engrossed in whatever war was going on between the two soldiers in his hands.
“Pharaoh, sit.” The dog immediately obeyed and settled on his haunches by Adam’s legs. Adam wound the excess length of the leash around his hand so Pharaoh had little choice but to stay right beside him. He didn’t want the Pyrenees to frighten Miss Wright. Pharaoh had never liked strangers and would bark and growl if they came too close to Adam.
“Stay, Pharaoh,” he added firmly, and took off his hat as Miss Wright and Mr. Rudyard stopped in front of him.
“Good afternoon, Miss Wright.”
“My lord,” she answered, giving him a curtsy.
“Mr. Rudyard,” he said, noticing that the man stood so close to Miss Wright that if she moved a fraction of an inch, her parasol would knock his top hat off his head.
Rudyard bowed and said graciously, “My lord, it’s now Viscount Rudyard.” And that was when Adam noticed that the dandy carried a cane. Not to help him walk, as in Miss Wright’s case, but as an accessory to his clothing. The ornate brass handle was hooked over his forearm. The shaft was a highly polished wood that looked as if it could be ebony. There was a fancy, three-inch brass tip on the bottom. Perhaps Miss Wright didn’t think it was insensitive of him to carry such an adornment in her presence, but Adam did.
“My apologies, my lord,” Adam said tightly, and in turn gave the man an appropriate bow for his title. “I hadn’t heard about your father.”
“No offense taken,” Rudyard said, seeming oblivious to Adam’s irritation. “I know you haven’t been in London long. In fact, it was only just last night that I heard you’d returned. Though I see you have been in Town long enough to have met Miss Wright.”
Though his words weren’t challenging and his manner was mild, something in Rudyard’s tone bothered Adam. Or maybe it was just the fact that the viscount happened to be with Miss Wright that bothered Adam.
“Yes,” Miss Wright offered when Adam didn’t immediately respond. “He was at the duke’s dinner party.”
“Ah, I see,” the viscount said, looking up at Adam before shifting his attention back to his companion. “No one ever declines an invitation to the duke’s house for dinner, do they, Miss Wright?”
“I should hope not,” she answered pleasantly.
“I suppose the balls and festivities of the Season brought you back to London, Lord Greyhawke?”
“I’ve had other things to address,” Adam responded, and then looked over at Miss Wright, saying, “You seem to be walking well today. Is your leg all right?”
“Yes, thank you, my lord, all is well.”
Her gaze stayed on his and he said, “That’s good to hear,” and he wondered if, like him, she was remembering the passionate kisses they shared just before she had fallen. And he wondered if, like him, she was wishing for more of those kisses right now.
The spring chill had added a lovely blush to her ivory cheeks, and her lips were such a tempting shade of pink. Adam had a devil of a time keeping his gaze from straying to them. She was downright fetching with the dainty parasol resting on her shoulder and framing her as if she were a portrait.
Adam cleared his throat and said, “May I present my cousin Master Dixon Greyhawke.”
Clutching his soldiers, Dixon properly greeted the viscount and Miss Wright. Rudyard tipped his hat and nodded to Dixon, but Miss Wright bent down to meet him on his eye level and said, “I’m happy to make your acquaintance, Master Dixon. You are a fine-looking young man and with such pleasant manners. How old are you?”
“Five,” he said, trying to hold up all his fingers and thumb without dropping his soldier.
“Only five? You are very tall for your age. I would have guessed you to be much older.”
Dixon’s chest puffed out. He twisted around, looked up at Adam, and smiled. A short, quiet laugh of disbelief blew from his throat. Dixon had been with Adam for at least six weeks, and in all that time he’d never once seen the child smile. Now, after mere seconds in Miss Wright’s presence, she had him grinning from ear to ear. How did she do it?
She straightened and looked down at Pharaoh as she closed her parasol and tucked it under her arm. “What is your friend’s name, Lord Greyhawke?”
“Pharaoh.”
“A ruler. An apt name for him. He’s very tall and handsome and has the look of a long regal heritage, don’t you think?”
Before Adam realized what she was going to do, she extended her hand to the Pyrenees. Fearful Pharaoh might snap at her, Adam reached out to stop her, but he was too late. But rather than nip at her as Adam expected, Pharaoh sniffed her gloved hand as if she were a longtime friend. Adam grunted another short laugh. Even Pharaoh had been immediately seduced by Miss Wright’s charms. Now she had enchanted his entire family.
She rubbed Pharaoh’s head and said to him, “I’m overcome with envy, Your Highness. I’ve always wished I had golden-blond hair the color of yours. But, alas, I was destined to have very dark auburn hair just like my mother. No doubt you are the color of your mother, too.”
Adam liked the way Miss Wright looked at Pharaoh, the way she gently rubbed him and talked to the Pyrenees. Adam liked the softness of her voice and her calm demeanor as she soothed and petted the dog. Adam could tell Pharaoh liked her, too.
While she patted Pharaoh’s shoulder, her gaze caught Adam’s with a questioning expression. “I feel something,” she said. “Are those scars beneath his hair?”
“He was being abused when I found him. I’m surprised he didn’t snap at you when you reached out to him. It usually takes a while for him to trust anyone.”
“Well, no one can blame him for that. I’d be wary of strangers, too, if I had been mistreated by anyone.”
“You are much too beautiful for anyone to ever contemplate ill-treating you, Miss Wright,” Lord Rudyard said possessively, inserting himself back into the conversation. “And we really should be going. So, if you’ll excuse us, my lord…”
Letting the viscount have the last word didn’t sit well with Adam, so he said, “I was hoping to find a puppet show or maybe a juggler to entertain Dixon for a few minutes. Did you pass by anything going on in the park that might hold the interest of a youngster?”
“No,” the viscount said, seeming to study on the question before answering. “I’m afraid not. Though we didn’t go very far into the park. I didn’t want to take a long walk for fear it would be too tiring for Miss Wright, you understand.”
At Rudyard’s comment, Miss Wright glanced over at Adam and softly bit down on her bottom lip. He had the feeling she didn’t appreciate the viscount’s inference that she couldn’t walk for an extended time because she used a cane. Adam didn’t blame her. He didn’t appreciate the implication either.
“I had hoped to find a vendor,” the slim man continued. “I wanted to buy Miss Wright a sweet scone or fruit tart, something delicious to please her. But we didn’t find one.”
“I can help you with that, my lord,” Adam said. “There’s one over by the east gate. We passed it coming in.”
“Kind of you to mention that, but I really don’t want to exhaust Miss Wright by making her walk that far after we’ve already had quite a trek this afternoon.”
“I don’t think you should,” Adam agreed. “I would be happy to stay here with her while you go pick out something for her to enjoy on the ride back to her home.”
Clearly perturbed, the viscount adjusted the position of the cane on his forearm as his eyes darted from Adam to Miss Wright. “Well, I suppose I could. Would you like me to do that for you?”
“No, no, of course not,” she said with a concerned expression on her lovely face. “Why should you do all that extra walking for me when it’s not on our way to your carriage? Absolutely not. It’s far too much trouble, and I won’t hear of it.”
Rudyard shifted his stance. “Nonsense,” he said. “It’s not any trouble at all. It’s settled. I wanted to buy you something sweet before we left, so I shall go. No bother at all.” He gave Adam a determined look. “Thank you, my lord.”
“Happy to mention it to you, Lord Rudyard,” Adam said, pulling his coin purse from his coat pocket. “Would you mind if Dixon went with you? I’m sure he’d like to pick out a refreshment, too, since there doesn’t seem to be any entertainment in the park this afternoon. Right, Dixon?”
The lad looked up at him and nodded.
“Ah, well…,” the viscount hedged as he looked at Dixon. Finally, he said, “Of course I don’t mind.” Lord Rudyard squared his shoulders and added, “And please, put your coins away, Lord Greyhawke, I’ll take care of this for the boy. Leave it all to me.”
“Thank you, my lord. That’s very kind of you. I’ll remember and return the favor.”
“That won’t be necessary, I assure you. Come along, Master Dixon.” He glanced at Miss Wright and smiled. “I won’t be gone long.”
The viscount didn’t know how slowly Dixon walked, Adam thought, but he’d find out.
“Did you send Lord Rudyard away on purpose, my lord?” Miss Wright asked when the unlikely duo was far enough away that they couldn’t hear her speak.
“Would it bother you if I did?”
She tilted her head back. “I asked first and you didn’t answer my question.”
“Ah, so we are back to the same kind of conversation we had before, are we not? All right, because I can be a gentleman from time to time, I will make up for my earlier error and answer your question first. Of course I sent him away on purpose. How else was I to have a few moments alone with you?” Adam’s gaze swept slowly up and down her face. “Now, does it bother you that I did?”
“Not in the least,” she answered, searching his face, too. “Tell me, is your cousin visiting with you or does he live in London?”
Two ladies and a gentleman strode past them as she spoke. Adam tipped his hat to them before answering, “Dixon lives with me. I am his guardian and he is my heir.”
“Oh, I see. I had no idea. You must like children, Lord Greyhawke, to be responsible for someone so young.”
“I had very little choice in the matter. He was orphaned.”
Her smile faded and her eyes clouded. “Yes, that does make a difference. I’m sorry to hear that for him. It’s sad for someone so young to lose his parents.”
Adam swore silently to himself. He realized he’d just been as insensitive to Miss Wright as Rudyard carrying a cane. He shouldn’t have mentioned that Dixon was an orphan.
“I’m sure you know how he feels, Miss Wright,” Adam said softly, trying to convey with his tone and his expression that he hadn’t meant to bring up unhappy memories for her. “It couldn’t have been an easy time for either one of you.”
“I’ve found that life goes on, and so will he.” She reached down and rubbed the top of Pharaoh’s head again but didn’t speak.
“No doubt your uncles and aunt have done much better caring for you than I have for Dixon,” Adam said, remembering his earlier conversation with his cousin.
“I’m not sure I would agree with that. I fear they have coddled me unnecessarily and for way too long.”
“At least they know how to do it. I fear I don’t cosset enough. I know nothing about children.”
She looked up at him with a tender smile. “Most people don’t until they live with them. How long has he been with you?”
“A short time. He will be under my care until he is old enough to go away to school.”
“I’m sure you are doing all you need to do. He seems happy.” She stopped rubbing Pharaoh and he woofed at her. She laughed and patted him again. “Oh, you are a greedy ruler when it comes to affection, aren’t you?” she said to the dog.
Adam had never seen Pharaoh take to anyone as fast as he had to Miss Wright. But then Adam had never taken to anyone as he had Miss Wright, either.
“I’m puzzled about something.”
“What?” she asked.
“Why did you fall when I stepped away from you last night?”
“I didn’t have my cane,” she said innocently, and continued to give Pharaoh her attention.
Something didn’t seem to fit. Adam looked at Miss Wright. From what he could see of her feet beneath the tail of her skirt, both legs were firmly planted on the ground, equally sharing her weight.
“You seem to be standing with very little support from your cane right now. And I watched you as you approached a few minutes ago. You’re walking well. Do you never walk without your cane?”
She straightened and reopened her parasol. “No.”
Adam lifted his hand and tipped his hat to two elderly gentlemen and a lady who were passing by and then waited until they were a distance away before he said, “You don’t ever walk without your cane? Not even in the privacy of your bedchamber?”
“No,” she said again, and stepped back from him and Pharaoh. “I always use my cane.”
“Why?”
Her brows drew together. She seemed confused by his question for a moment. “I’m not supposed to. After I fell down the stairs, the doctors, my uncles, my aunt, everyone said I must never stand or walk without it again, and I haven’t.”
“When did that fall happen?”
“A couple of years after the accident.” Her gaze looked past him, as if she were drawing something from the depths of her memory. “I remember my leg was finally healing. I was able to walk a little without any help. One day I was at the top of the stairs.” She paused and twirled the handle of her parasol in her hand and shook her head. “I don’t really remember how, exactly, but I fell down the stairs and reinjured my leg. I don’t know if I tripped, or my leg gave way beneath me or what happened, but I haven’t walked without the cane since.”
“Would you like to try?”
At that moment, she tilted her head so that the brim of her hat couldn’t shield her face from the sun. Adam was struck by her softness and beauty. Once again he thought about how much he enjoyed being with her and how stimulating it was talking to her, how much he wanted to pull her close and kiss her again.
“What? No.” She laughed lightly. “I told you I can’t. I’ve been told by everyone not to. I don’t know why you are obsessed about the problem with my leg, but you need to think of something else to talk about.”
Adam considered her words. He supposed it was natural for her aunt and uncles to treat her so delicately. She was the only survivor of her family. And then in her uncle’s house, she fell and injured herself again. He could see how they would insist she use the cane so that it wouldn’t happen again. But Adam wasn’t ready to give up on her.
“I think you could walk without any aid,” he said.
“Thank you for telling me that,” she said dryly.
“I’m serious. How do you know you can’t if you haven’t tried?” Pharaoh strained to sniff around Miss Wright’s feet, so Adam unwound the leash to give the dog a little more freedom. “And, I believe I can teach you to dance, Miss Wright.”
Making no effort to hide her incredulous expression, she said, “I refuse to have that conversation again with you, my lord.”
“Meet me tonight in your uncle’s garden and I’ll teach you.”
“What? Do you realize you are suggesting I meet you in secret?”
“That’s exactly what I’m suggesting.” An easy, natural smile came to his lips. “We met on his front lawn at his dinner party last night.”
“That was by accident,” she reminded him. “We didn’t plan it and we won’t plan anything of the kind.”
He had learned a little more about her, but not nearly enough. Everything about her intrigued him. And he knew he couldn’t push her too hard about learning to dance. But if he eased her into the idea, maybe she would trust him enough to give it a try.
It was odd to him, but he supposed if someone told you long enough and often enough that you couldn’t do something, in time you would believe what you’d been told.
“All right, I accept your answer of no—for now. Tell me, is Viscount Rudyard one of the gentlemen who have tried to kiss you?”
Her beautiful mouth made the shape of an O of surprise. “I’m not commenting about that either.”
Satisfied, he said, “You don’t have to now. What you said gives me my answer.”
She gazed at him with her dazzling green eyes. He could tell he had perturbed her.
“It does no such thing,” she insisted.
One corner of his mouth tilted up in a half grin and he folded his arms across his chest. “I think it does, and you saying otherwise won’t make me change my mind.”
“Oh, I should have never told you that other gentlemen had wanted to kiss me.”
“Why?”
“Because I answered another of your probing, personal questions and now you will be constantly asking me about the gentlemen when it is none of your concern. It was my misfortune that you caught me at a weak moment.”
“I told you. I’m interested. In you. I want to know about your injury, and about the accident. What your life was like before you came to live with your uncle. I want to know who has tried to kiss you.”
Her gaze swept back to his. “Those are all personal questions, my lord. Are you prepared to answer other personal questions for me if I answer yours?”
“You drive a hard bargain, Miss Wright.”
“And you, sir, are downright meddlesome at times.”
Adam frowned. “I have been called a lot of things in my life, but never meddlesome. But all right, I will put myself at risk once again.”
“You at risk?” She titled her head back and laughed heartily. “I don’t see that ever happening.”
“Only for you. Ask me something personal.”
“All right, let me think. Ah, I know. All the young ladies want to know if you have come to London to make a match.”
“No. What part of your leg is injured?”
“My hip and my knee. So why did you come back to London if not to look for a wife?”
“To meet with my solicitors and learn more about the estates that are now entrusted to my care as the Earl of Greyhawke. How many gentlemen have tried to kiss you?”
She looked puzzled for a moment, then pursed her lips before saying, “I really don’t know.”
Adam was skeptical of her answer, so he pressed her. “Two, four, six, or eight?”
“At least that many. Maybe more.”
That raised his eyebrows a little higher.
“How many more?”
Frustrated, she said, “I haven’t kept count, my lord. This is my third Season, and as my uncle keeps reminding me, I have rejected the offers and affections of almost every eligible gentleman in London.”
And she had let only him kiss her. Adam smiled. That pleased him.
“Do you plan to marry again?” she asked.
That question surprised Adam, too. He hesitated briefly and then said, “No. Did Rudyard try to kiss you?”
“Yes.” Her gaze held tightly on his. “Why won’t you consider marrying again?”
Adam hesitated when he realized that for a second he’d actually thought about telling her the reasons he never wanted to marry again. He had never wanted to reveal that much of himself to anyone, and thankfully he didn’t have to decide at this moment.
“Here you are, Miss Wright,” the viscount said with a satisfied smile as he hurried up beside her. “I couldn’t decide which sweet cake to purchase for you, so I bought the whole basket. And I hope you don’t mind, my lord, but I couldn’t get one for her and not get the same for Dixon.”
Adam looked down and grunted ruefully. Dixon held a small basket in one hand and a half-eaten tart in the other. Crumbs had collected from one side of his mouth to the other cheek and down the front of his coat. Pharaoh smelled the treats and nudged Dixon’s basket with his nose. The lad turned the basket away from the Pyrenees but then in a show of kindness gave the dog his half-eaten tart. In one bite Pharaoh swallowed it and woofed for more.
“I don’t mind at all,” Adam said.
“Good. Well, we must get back to the carriage now, if you’ll excuse us, Lord Greyhawke.”
Adam tipped his hat to them. “I enjoyed our discussion, Miss Wright.”
Her gaze zeroed in on his for only a second as she said, “It was enlightening for me.” She glanced down at the overstuffed basket of sweets and then back to the viscount and smiled. “These look delicious, Lord Rudyard. I shall have one as soon as I’m settled into the carriage. And thank you for getting enough for me to share.”
Rudyard beamed at her pleasure.
Miss Wright pulled a sweet cake from the basket and held it out to Pharaoh. “Here you are, Your Majesty.”
Once again the Pyrenees gulped down the pastry, barked his thanks, and woofed for more.
“I think you’ve had enough,” Adam said.
Miss Wright’s gaze caught his once more before she turned away.
Adam felt a knot in his stomach as they left. Rudyard had been a tip-top gentleman about the predicament Adam had forced on him. He recalled that Rudyard was good at billiards and most card games, too. Adam couldn’t remember him ever betting too heavily. He wouldn’t waste Miss Wright’s fortune. Since Adam couldn’t contemplate pursuing her, the man would probably be a suitable match for her.
That didn’t mean he had to like it.
“She smells nice,” Dixon said.
Adam swallowed hard. “That she does.”