Men of few words are the best men.
—Henry V, act 3, scene 2
The bright blue sky was dusted with wispy white clouds. The air was breezy but not chilling as Katherine stood in the budding back garden, waiting for the arrival of Viscount Rudyard.
She had spent the morning practicing walking and her dance steps while thinking about Adam and all that he’d said to her after their passionate embrace. There was no figuring out what he had meant by thinking she would be in danger, other than that he wouldn’t marry her even if she was in the family way.
There had to be more to what he was saying than that. Adam was a gentleman. A man of honor. He would never leave a young lady defenseless and not marry her if that happened. Katherine was as sure of that as she was of her own name.
She’d spent considerable time thinking about their maddening kisses and caresses, too. After the way their last meeting at the orphanage had ended a few days ago, she had thought seriously about giving up trying to dance and walking without the cane. If Adam wasn’t going to help her anymore, why should she try to get stronger or better and more balanced on her feet? But that kind of thinking hadn’t lasted long. She wanted to walk without a cane and learn to dance whether or not she ever stepped on a dance floor with Adam or anyone else.
She wouldn’t quit. She wanted to do it for Adam, but she had to do it for herself. Hence, she had been practicing every morning for the past few days and some afternoons, too. Her leg was getting stronger with each day. She knew she would never glide gracefully across the dance floor as so many young ladies could, but one day, if she continued to work at it, she would be free of the cane for good and maybe be able to dance a little, too.
Katherine had come to another realization. She was in love with the Earl of Greyhawke, though it had taken her some time to realize it. She had no doubts about that now. He was the man she dreamed about, the man she longed to see, and the man she wanted to marry and live with for the rest of her life. She wanted Adam to be the father of her children. But what could she do when he claimed he didn’t intend to marry again?
She would do her best to change his mind if only she could see him. There was no doubt he desired her as much as she desired him. If only there was some way she could get him to the balls and the parties in the evenings so she could see him and talk to him. If she weren’t plagued with having to go everywhere with a chaperone, she would go to his house and force him to see her.
“Katherine?”
At the sound of her aunt’s voice, she pulled her ruffle-trimmed pelisse tighter about her and turned toward the back door. Her aunt and Viscount Rudyard were walking down the back steps.
“I’ll sit over here and read my book while the two of you have a visit,” Aunt Leola said, and headed to the corner of the garden where a table and four chairs stood. “I’ve asked for refreshments to be served in a few minutes.”
“Thank you, Auntie,” Katherine said.
The viscount followed Lady Leola to the sitting area to the left side of the lawn and pulled out the chair for her before heading Katherine’s way.
Lord Rudyard was a tall, handsome man and a dandy of the highest order, she thought as he walked toward her. He’d already doffed his top hat and there wasn’t a sign of a crease in his dark brown hair from wearing it. His starched neckcloth was beautifully tied and showed no sign of a wrinkle or crimple anywhere on it. His brown wide-striped coat and trousers were perfectly tailored to his slim frame, and the sunlight sparkled off the shiny brass buttons on his dark red waistcoat. The silver-handled cane was missing from his arm, but he might have left it inside the house with his greatcoat and hat.
When he stopped in front of her, she curtsied and suddenly realized what it was about Lord Rudyard that bothered her. He was always splendidly dressed. He always said and did the proper things, just like her aunt and uncles. Manners and propriety were of upmost importance to him.
But it was a man who seldom said or behaved as she expected—a man who cared little for what others thought, who was willing to take off his coat and relax with her—a man who caught her up in his arms and ravished her who held her heart captive.
“Good afternoon, Lord Rudyard,” she said.
“And a very good afternoon to you, Miss Wright,” he returned. “You picked a perfect sunny day with a pale blue sky for our tea in the garden. I’m pleased that we have no dreary clouds to cover us today.”
“So am I.”
“I do worry, though,” he said. “I think perhaps you should have a parasol to keep the sun off your face.”
Katherine smiled and hoped it wasn’t as sad as she suddenly felt. Lord Rudyard had said exactly what her aunt had said earlier when she’d started outside without her parasol. “I believe the rim of my bonnet is sufficient to take care of that, my lord. It’s quite wide.”
“I’m sure you know best,” he conceded, and extended a small bouquet of colorful flowers to her.
She took them, carried them to her nose, and inhaled with a gentle smile. “They are lovely and fragrant. Thank you, my lord.”
“I’m pleased you like them.”
“Do you want to walk around the grounds or would you prefer sitting down with my aunt for a chat?”
“I would very much like to walk with you. But we’ll only do it for a short time. I don’t want to overtire your leg. I’m sure it pains you if you stand on it too long.”
It would probably always give her some discomfort, but recently it was mostly when she first awakened in the mornings. “No need to worry about me, my lord. I’m finding that exercising it often is actually good for my leg. Besides, it’s not paining me at all right now.”
“Splendid! I was hoping for a chance to talk to you alone for a few minutes.”
Oh dear.
She knew it would be for the best if he mentioned marriage to her again, but still, she wished he wouldn’t. It wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have, because her heart longed for Lord Greyhawke.
Katherine looked down at the flowers she held in one hand and her cane in the other. She wasn’t ready to give up the cane yet, but she felt even more confident that one day she would. And it would be because Lord Greyhawke had questioned her reliance on it and then had faith in her that she could walk without it.
They strolled down the stone pathway that ran beside the yew hedge on both sides of the garden. Every shrub in the knot had survived the winter. Its intricate pattern was already beautifully green. The flower gardens had been newly planted and the colorful flowers were beginning to sprout and bud. A few had already bloomed.
“I was hoping you might enlighten me as to what I might do to win your favor and encourage you to agree to accept my proposal of marriage.”
“Marriage is not something to take lightly, my lord.”
“I agree, but I made the proposal to your uncle more than a year ago.”
She grimaced. “Was it truly that long ago?”
“Probably longer.” He chuckled. “But in any case, I understand that a lady must take her time and consider cleverly about something that will affect the rest of her life. Still, I believe I have given you plenty of time so that you can’t think I’m rushing you.”
It was her uncle who had put a time limit on her. It wasn’t that she blamed him. And she understood. Her aunt and uncles were tired of being a chaperone and guardians to a twenty-year-old lady who couldn’t make up her mind whom she wanted to marry. They were tired of the Season’s endless parties and balls, preferring small, quiet dinner parties like the one where she had met Lord Greyhawke.
Katherine glanced over at Lord Rudyard and wished she felt that all-consuming need to be with him that she felt whenever she was with Adam. If only she felt that desire, she would give Lord Rudyard her answer this very afternoon.
“I don’t feel that you have rushed me,” she told the viscount. “And in truth, I am seriously considering your proposal, my lord.”
“I’m honored to hear that, Miss Wright. I know you have many other gentlemen wanting the promise of your hand. But I want you to know that none of them would take better care of you than me. I will cherish and shelter you dearly, just as your uncle has done all these years. I will treat you like the delicate flower you are.”
But Katherine had no desire to be treated delicately. “I am not that fragile, my lord. I assure you, I am strong and very healthy. Now tell me, do you want to have children?”
He gave her a look of surprise. “Of course. All men want a son to carry on their name.”
Adam didn’t and that puzzled her. She couldn’t understand his reluctance about something that was as natural as breathing for most gentlemen. Perhaps because of the death of his first wife, he was reluctant to try for a family again. She had firsthand knowledge of how devastating it was to lose all you held dear.
“And,” Lord Rudyard continued, “as in my case, a son to carry on the title as well. Why do you ask? Do you fear motherhood, Miss Wright? I know that some ladies do.”
“No, of course not.” She laughed because he had so misunderstood her reason for asking. “I want to have children. Many children.”
And she would honor her brother and her sisters by naming her children after them.
“We will have as many as you like. It matters not to me, because they will be with the nanny most of the time and not bothering us anyway.”
Katherine frowned and her hand tightened on the bouquet of flowers as well as her cane. “I don’t think I would ever consider my children a bother to me, my lord.”
He stopped and smiled down at her. “Of course, they can be. You wouldn’t know because you grew up in your uncle’s house without small children around, a house with civility. I grew up in a house with three younger brothers and two younger sisters, and it was quite chaotic most of the time.”
But that was the kind of life she was looking forward to.
“I remember,” Lord Rudyard continued, “I always felt calm and peaceful once all the little ones were put to bed for the evening. And I was never happier than when I was too old for my bedchamber to be in the nursery wing of the house. So no need for you to worry, Miss Wright. We will enjoy our quiet evenings by the fire, reading and playing cards. And of course we’ll want to travel a few months each year as well.”
A sudden breeze blew down Katherine’s neck and she wrapped her pelisse tighter about her. The life the viscount described was not the kind she was dreaming about, but she remained quiet. She couldn’t forget her promise to be betrothed by the end of the Season. Complaining would make her ungrateful for all her uncles and aunt had done for her. She couldn’t do that. She would tell anyone that they had done what was right by her. Taking her in as a child and now supporting her through her third Season. She couldn’t ask them to give her another year, but oh, how she wanted to.
“Look what we have managed to accomplish, Miss Wright.”
“What’s that?” she asked, thinking it must be that she was more uncertain than ever that she wanted to marry Lord Rudyard.
“We are standing behind the fountain. Do you know what that means?”
The tall, urn-shaped fountain stood near the back gate, in the center of the garden. The rim was flanked by two large cupids with their wings spread wide. The cupids appeared to be drinking water from the overflowing urn. An abundance of freshly planted flowers surrounded the base of the fountain.
Katherine shook her head. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean.”
“I can’t see your aunt, can you?”
She looked around. “Not without moving.”
“Good. I think this is the perfect place to steal a kiss from you. You don’t mind, do you?”
Do I?
No. I want him to.
She looked into his handsome face and thought, Yes, please kiss me. Kiss me and make me feel the soul-wrenching, delirious feelings that Lord Greyhawke made me feel when he kissed me. She wanted the viscount to gather her in his arms and hold her so tightly that she ached. She wanted him to make her feel desired.
He reached down and kissed her briefly, softly, on the lips. It was much the same way Lord Greyhawke had kissed her when he’d said it was the way a young lady should receive her first kiss. It was pleasant enough, but certainly not earth-shattering.
Lord Rudyard looked at her and smiled. “Did that make you happy?”
She ignored his question and said, “May we share another before we continue our walk?”
His brows rose. “Indeed.”
He moved to kiss her again the same way he had the first time, and she put up her hand and stopped him. He backed away. “No, don’t move. This time I want you to kiss me with your arms around me. You know, holding me tightly to your chest.”
At those words, he frowned. “That wouldn’t be proper, Miss Wright. We can’t start anticipating the wedding night.” He smiled again. “I fear your uncle would throw me out of his garden by my ear if your aunt should look around and see us embracing and tattle. But I am pleased to know that you want me to hold you.”
Adam had no such fears. “Of course, you’re right,” she said, and they started walking again.
“I hope you aren’t too disappointed. You see, I believe we will be married, and I don’t want to do anything to upset the duke and ruin my chances with you.”
“I understand, my lord,” she assured him. But she didn’t. If he truly desired her the way Adam did, he would take the risk of getting caught just to hold her in his arms.
In a way, she was glad he had not taken her up on her offer. Somehow, deep inside, she knew he couldn’t make her feel the way Adam had, even though life would be so much easier for her if he could.
It had been a few days since she had heard from Adam. For all she knew, he could have already left Town. An ache grabbed her stomach, and she inhaled deeply at that possibility. She couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing him again.
Katherine heard the back door open and saw a servant bringing out the refreshments tray.
She sighed as they turned the corner and started up the pathway toward her aunt. The viscount was a good man, and he would be a capable father. And if she married him, maybe one day she would develop stronger feelings for him than she had at present. But as of right now, there was nothing about him that excited her senses or caused her heart to trip in her chest.
And all that left her with was a feeling of sadness and the wish that she could see Adam again.