I do believe thee: I saw his heart in his face.
—The Winter’s Tale, act 1, scene 2
Oh, he was torturing her. Every time she looked his way, Adam was watching her. It didn’t matter if he was talking to a group of gentlemen, to her friend Madeline, or to one of the dowagers sitting around the dance floor, always his gaze found Katherine’s. And every time it did, he made her ache with longing. She’d tried not to look at him. Tried not to even glance in his direction. Oh, how she’d tried! But her eyes would not be controlled by her mind. Only by her heart.
What was he doing at the ball, anyway? He had stayed away all Season thus far. Perhaps he had come just to fill her with the pain of loss. She thought he’d already left London and that she’d never see him again. In truth, she hadn’t wanted to see him. Her decision had been made, and seeing him only made her wish things between them could have been different. His reasons for not wanting children were valid, but so were her reasons for needing to have children of her own.
He couldn’t change, but neither could she.
Katherine understood this and would have to bear the heartache, no matter how deeply it hurt her.
When she’d told the duke she’d decided not to marry Lord Greyhawke, he’d huffed out a low, exasperated sigh, turned his back on her, and walked silently away. That had stung. Aunt Leola had been more considerate and asked if she’d wanted to talk about what had happened. When Katherine declined, Aunt Leola hadn’t pressed. She never would. She was much too polite to pry.
Katherine had worried that it would be unfair to marry Lord Rudyard knowing she loved Adam so deeply. But after much thought, she had decided she would be giving the viscount many things most people valued in someone they loved and wanted to marry. She would give Lord Rudyard loyalty, honor, and all the children he wanted. She would also give him control of a handsome fortune.
So with her promise to her uncle weighing heavily on her mind and only a week left of the Season, Katherine had planned to tell Lord Rudyard tonight that she would marry him. But just as her courage peaked and she was ready to say the words, Lord Greyhawke had walked into the ballroom, looking so dashing, so confident, that she felt as if her heart had melted into a puddle at her feet. It was as if he knew exactly when she had planned her acceptance and had come to disrupt her.
“You don’t seem yourself tonight, Miss Wright. Are you tired?”
“No, my lord. I am well.”
“Perhaps I should get you a cup of punch or another glass of champagne?”
“No, no more bubbles for me, but thank you, my lord. You do not have to stay every moment by my side. You should be dancing and enjoying yourself.”
“I am quite contented being by your side, Miss Wright.”
“But you are making me feel bad. I insist you find someone to enjoy the next dance with.”
“Since you insist,” he said with a smile, “I will. I don’t think I’ve seen Miss Penny Marchfield on the dance floor this evening. Perhaps she’d like to give it a go.”
“That would be so kind of you. I know she loves to dance and doesn’t get asked as much as other young ladies do.”
“If it will please you, I shall go ask her right now.”
“Absolutely.”
Katherine watched him stroll toward Penny. And she thought again what a nice man he was. If only she could develop those thrilling feelings of wanton desire for him that she felt with Adam, they would probably have a good life together.
Penny’s face lit up like the glittering candles in the chandeliers that hung from the ceiling when Lord Rudyard asked her to dance. She looked over at Katherine and gave her a huge smile as the viscount led her to the dance floor.
Katherine laughed and waved to her. It felt wonderful to make Penny feel so special.
“Good evening, Miss Wright.”
A shiver of anticipation skipped up Katherine’s back at the sound of Adam’s voice. She turned, curtsied, and looked up into his gorgeous eyes. “Lord Greyhawke.”
“You’re beautiful tonight,” he said. “I believe you are wearing the gown you wore the night we met.”
Katherine looked down at the gauzy pink gown. A warmth flooded her. He remembered what she had on that night.
“Yes, I was,” she answered softly. “I’m surprised you remembered.”
“I remember everything about you. Everything we said, every look and every touch.”
Her throat went dry as his words washed silkily down her. “That is not something you should say to me here. Someone might hear you.”
“It’s true.”
“Why are you here? I thought you might have already left.”
“My business isn’t finished,” he said.
So he’d come to say good-bye. Her eyes moistened, but she quickly blinked the wetness away.
“Well,” she said, suddenly feeling sad and angry at the same time, “Perhaps it will be soon. I know you are eager to leave. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I see someone I’d like to speak to.”
She turned to walk away, but he touched her arm and stopped her. “No, don’t go. I’d like to talk to you.”
It might be easy for him to have a long good-bye, but it certainly wasn’t for her. “I really don’t want to talk to you, my lord. I believe we said all there was to say to each other a few days ago.”
“You are angry with me.”
“Yes,” she admitted. There was no reason not to when he was leaving.
“You’re disappointed.”
“That, too, not that you care or that it’s any of your business.”
“Broken-hearted.”
She nodded, seeing no reason not to be honest but unable to say more. If he was going, she just wanted him to go.
“You love me.”
“Stop torturing me, Adam,” she whispered.
“I know you love me, Katherine.”
She remained silent.
“I love you, too,” he said softly.
“If you make me cry here in this room, I will hate you the rest of my life,” she said earnestly.
He smiled. “I’m not going to make you cry, my love, and I’m not going to leave. I’m going to dance with you.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She was too stunned to do anything but blink.
“The next score that will be played is a waltz. I intend to dance it with you.”
Frantically, she shook her head. “I won’t. I can’t.”
“The first time I spoke to you, it was to ask you to dance. Do you remember?”
She nodded. “Of course. I’m not likely to ever forget that night.”
“I know you have continued to practice.”
Her eyes queried him. “How do you know that?”
“I know you.”
“Even if I have, it doesn’t mean I’m ready to dance at a ball with two hundred people watching me. I can’t.”
“You were already very good when we danced in your garden. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think you could do it. I have faith in you, and you can trust me.”
“But I don’t trust you,” she said, near tears again. “Because you don’t trust me.”
“What makes you think I don’t trust you?”
“You don’t trust me to give you a son.”
The quadrille ended and the dancers started leaving the floor.
“Dance with me and then we’ll talk about that. I’m not going to allow your uncles, aunt, or Lord Rudyard to keep you an invalid. You don’t need that cane, and you are going to prove it to everyone right now. Now, give it to me.”
Other dancers started making their way to the dance floor and getting in the starting position for the waltz.
“You don’t understand. I’m frightened.”
“I’ve been frightened before, too, but someone that I love very much told me that life is full of risks and that anything worth having is bound to come with a little risk.”
“Don’t make a fool of me, Adam.”
“I promise I’m not going to. The cane.”
She looked down at her hand. The grip on her cane was tight but he was right. She did trust him. She lifted the cane and handed it to him.
“Ah, good evening, Lord Greyhawke,” the viscount said as he walked up to them.
“Lord Rudyard,” Adam said, and held the cane out to him. “Would you mind taking care of this for Miss Wright?”
“Ah, ah, of course not, but she needs this to walk.”
Adam held out his hand to Katherine. “Not anymore.”
Katherine placed her hand in Adam’s and he escorted her toward the dance floor. He walked slowly and his grip was firm. Her practice had paid off. She knew her limp wasn’t pronounced, and her knee and hip moved with more freedom than ever before.
When Katherine and Adam reached the dance floor, the other dancers parted, making way for them. Katherine heard whispers, gasps, and knew every eye in the room was on them. Her body trembled.
“Don’t worry if you stumble or if I step on your toe. We will keep going. We won’t stop. Understand?”
She nodded again, but said, “Everyone is looking at us.”
“I want you to relax and enjoy your first dance.”
He placed one hand to her back and pulled her into his embrace. That gave her all the confidence she needed.
“Let’s show them how to waltz.”
The music started, and on the right downbeat Adam stepped forward and Katherine stepped back. Their toes never touched as they moved across the floor. Katherine’s chest swelled and her heart felt as if it might beat out of her chest. She was dancing at a ball with the most handsome gentleman in all of London. She was hardly breathing as she concentrated on her steps. She realized it was actually easier to follow Adam and to dance with the music playing.
Katherine knew she wasn’t as graceful as the other ladies, but she didn’t care. She felt as if she were. Just as in her dreams, she was dancing, flowing across the floor with Lord Greyhawke. The crowds blurred as she sailed from side to side in time with the music.
When the dance ended, the crowd erupted in applause. Only then did Katherine realized they were the only two on the floor. Her aunt and uncles were standing in the front row, clapping louder than anyone. She heard shouts and cries of “Bravo!” “Well done!” and “Splendid!”
She smiled at Adam, feeling as if she would burst with love and gratitude.
“Give them a curtsy, Katherine,” Adam said. “They want a curtsy from you.”
Adam continued to hold her hand. She held her dress out with the other and curtsied as the applause continued. All of a sudden, Adam dropped to one knee in front of her. The clapping stopped. The cheers from the crowd fell silent. There wasn’t a cough, a sigh, or a whisper.
“Miss Katherine Wright, will you marry me and be my wife?”
Gasps sounded all around the room again, but none was louder than hers. Katherine questioned him with her expression. Her heart felt so full, she could hardly speak. “You know I can’t,” she whispered thickly.
“Let me rephrase what I asked. Will you marry me and give me sons?”
She was stunned into silence again.
“I accept your terms,” he said. “The thought of you having a babe scares the hell out of me, but I will find a way to cope with that. We will have all the children you want.” He smiled. “Besides, the thought of another man touching you scares me more.”
Her heart leaped to her throat. “I don’t believe you.”
“I wouldn’t be on my knees in front of two hundred people right now if it wasn’t true, my love.”
“I don’t understand. You aren’t making any sense, because last time I saw you, you were so adamant.”
“I think you knew I wouldn’t let anyone else have you. That I’d be back for you.”
“No, I didn’t know. How could I? I don’t understand. What made you change your mind?”
“You mean other than my love for you and mad, raging jealousy at the thought of anyone else touching you? It’s a long story and best told in front of a fire on a cold night when you’re wrapped in my arms. Marry me, Katherine. Say you will be mine. We will have as many children as you want.”
“Say yes,” someone from the crowd called.
“After that proposal, she had better say yes,” another person yelled.
“How romantic,” still another commented.
“I love you, Katherine. Say yes.”
Katherine looked down into his eyes. “Yes. A hundred times yes.”
He rose and stepped closer to Katherine. “Some have called me a beast, and they will surely think so after I do this. But your acceptance needs to be sealed with a kiss.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed her soundly on the lips.
But far from cries of beast, scoundrel, and rake, there were shouts of laughter and cries of hooray.