Henry and I had been sitting together on the front steps while he told me this story. And it was too cold to be outside. We could see our breath as we spoke. But after what Henry had described, I wasn’t looking for an invitation to come for a visit, and I guess Henry was in no hurry to go back in either. So we just sat there, side by side, for a while.
Finally I said, “You know, she’s lived in that house forever. Miss Leary. Since she and Edgar were little kids.”
“How do you know?” Henry asked.
Then I explained about my visit on Thanksgiving, about how Edgar and Constance were childhood friends. “Like us,” I said. “Best friends like us.”
“I guess,” Henry said. “If you were a strange old lady and I were a ghost.”
“She made him sound so great,” I said.
“For her, maybe,” Henry said. “I just want him to go, Barbara Anne. I can’t take it anymore. He has to leave.”
“I know,” I said. “We’ll make him go. I promise, Henry.”
I wasn’t sure, at first, how I would keep my promise to Henry. A few days later, though, I got an idea. I came up with it because Renee was hopeless at fractions.
Zack was trying to help her with them. She seemed more willing to take his help than to ask me or Henry. Zack had trouble with reading, but he was pretty good at math.
“Look,” Zack said. “If I had a pizza—”
“You’d eat the whole thing,” Henry said.
“Stick a sock in it!” Zack said. “I’m trying to help her.”
I thought he and Henry would get into it then. I expected a bunch of insults that would make Zack start doing his counting thing. But it didn’t happen that way. Zack just gave Henry a look and then went back to helping Renee. He was pretty patient about it too.
“How’s it going, Renee?” Ms. Biniam asked when she stopped by our pod.
“It’s okay,” Renee said. “I was having trouble, but Zack explained it to me.”
“Renee,” I heard Ms. Biniam say. “If you need help, all you have to do is ask.”
That was it. I did some research, and the next day at lunch I said to Henry, “I think I know what to do. To get rid of Edgar. We need to ask him to leave.”
“Great idea, Barbara Anne. I’ll get going on a letter right away.”
“No. Really. We need to just straight-out tell him that it’s time to go. I’ve done some reading, and I have a whole list of what we need.”
“Let me see that,” Henry said, grabbing for my notebook.
For someone who didn’t think it would work, he sure seemed curious about my plan. He opened the notebook to the first page and found this list:
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Smudge stick
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Bells
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Casting a circle
“Smudge stick?” Henry asked.
“Yes,” I told him. “Everybody does it. It’s a bundle of herbs—sage mostly—and you set it on fire and wave it around. The smoke removes the spirits. It cleanses the space.”
“Smoke?” Henry asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “I know it seems drastic, but it’s a time-honored method. I promise.”
“For setting off smoke detectors,” Henry said.
“We could always take the batteries out before we start,” I said. “What? My grandmother does it all the time when she’s cooking and something starts to burn. You just put them back in later.”
“Look,” Henry said. “We’ve done enough damage at my house already. If you don’t mind, I’d rather not burn it to the ground.”
“Okay, okay,” I said. “So we’ll just do the other two.”
We agreed to go to his house after school the following day to test out methods two and three. Henry wasn’t convinced they would work, but he didn’t have anything to lose either.
“What are we waiting for?” Henry asked as we stood outside school the next day.
“Renee and Zack,” I said.
“I thought it was just us.”
“That won’t work,” I told him. “You can’t cast a circle with two people.”
“Oh, of course,” Henry said. “What was I thinking?”
“Henry, you don’t have to be so sarcastic. I’m trying to help.”
“What’s in there?” he asked, nodding toward the extra bag I was carrying.
“Tools of the trade,” I said.
“You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?” he asked.
I shrugged like it was no big deal, but we both knew what the answer was. Who doesn’t want to test stuff out once they learn something new? And this wasn’t something ordinary like making soup or finger knitting. (Although, I will say that there are some kids at school who can finger knit so quickly it’s like a magic trick, and they have a strand now that stretches practically halfway across the playground—which is impressive, but still nothing compared to learning to banish a ghost.)
Zack and Renee joined us a couple of minutes later, and Zack couldn’t wait to get started. “So, what do we have to do?” he asked. “Once we get there?”
“Oh, don’t worry,” Henry said. “Barbara Anne will tell us exactly what to do from now on.”
I scowled at him, even though he was right, and the other two might as well know what they were in for. Some people just don’t appreciate leadership ability.
When we got to Henry’s room, I unpacked my canvas bag first thing. Here is what was inside:
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A candle
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Two bells
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A notebook and pen
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A small bunch of herbs tied with a string
“Is that a smudge stick?” Henry asked me. “I thought we said no smudge stick.”
“Dude, relax,” Zack said. “It’s a tiny pile of leaves.”
“He’s right,” I said. “Relax. Nobody’s going to burn the house down. I’ll be really careful. Besides, if it gets too smoky, I can switch to this.”
I pulled one last thing from the bag: another candle. “Electric,” I said.
“Hey, these are cute,” Renee said, picking up one of the little bells. “Where’d you get them?”
“Leftovers from when my mom planned her friend’s wedding reception,” I said.
“Huh. What are they for?”
“Haven’t you ever seen these? You ring them to make the bride and groom kiss.” Then I added, “But we’re not going to use them that way here. Obviously.” Because I didn’t think there was anything going on between Zack and Renee, but I didn’t feel like testing it out.
“Okay,” I said. “Let’s start.”
I had everybody stand in a circle and hold hands. I had Henry’s hand on one side and Zack’s on the other, and they both felt disgustingly moist. I didn’t even want to think about how long it had been since Zack had washed his.
“Okay,” I said. “Now take a giant step backward, but try to maintain the circle.” I was using my most confident voice, because I learned at babysitter training that children will listen to you if you stay calm and sound sure of yourself. So far, it was working, even on Zack, and that was saying something.
Then I stepped out of position, lit the smudge stick, and walked toward the three of them, one at a time. At each side of the room, I waved the flaming herb bundle in a little circle. I was holding it up as high as I could—Statue of Liberty style—to make up for the fact that I’m not very tall. At each spot, I stopped and recited the words I’d memorized from the book.
Oh, great guardians of the north—
“I’m pretty sure that’s the south,” Henry said.
Renee shushed him.
“I’m just saying.”
But it was ruined then, so I had to start over.
Oh, great guardians of the south
Cleanse this space and
Protect all those who reside within!
The smoke was beginning to get kind of thick, which was really not my fault but more a result of the way everybody kept interrupting me. That and, I guess, the fact that we forgot to open a window before we started.
Renee kept coughing.
“Finish up before she hacks up a lung,” Zack said.
“Okay, okay!”
We cast out all who are
Unwelcome
Let them now depart!
Everything got quiet then, and that’s when we all heard it: the creak of the stairs, the sound of someone—or something—slowly approaching. Then, of course, Renee screamed, a sound so high and shrill that dogs should have been the only ones able to hear it. And then, through the toxic smudge-stick haze, Alice materialized in the doorway in her leotard, her hands on her hips. She did not look happy.
“You forgot to pick me up from dance class!” she yelled at Henry. “You were supposed to walk me home.”
The way she looked at the four of us destroyed the whole thing. Suddenly it seemed ridiculous.
Alice waved one hand through the toxic air and said, “Are you guys smoking?! ’Cause if you are, I’m telling.”
“Of course we’re not smoking,” Henry said.
“It’s Barbara Anne’s fault,” Zack said. “For burning that smidgen wand.”
He had a point. I was having trouble putting it out too. I blew on it, but that just seemed to keep it going. “Renee!” I yelled. “Open the window!” I felt like a runner in some crazy relay race where nobody would take the baton.
“Open it! Open it!” I yelled at Renee. Boy, she really was not good in an emergency.
“You are in so much trouble,” Alice said to Henry as the smoke detectors began to beep.
“Have you got a fire extinguisher?” Zack asked her.
“I don’t know!” Alice said.
Finally Renee got the window open, and I pushed the smudge stick through it.
“Why are you giving it more air?” Henry yelled. “Do you not understand anything about fire?”
He ran over and tried to grab it out of my hand, and in the struggle, the smudge stick dropped out of the window and landed on Henry’s front lawn.
This was the bad news.
The good news, I guess, was that Sophie had just gotten home, and she doused it with that giant water bottle she always carries. (She likes to stay well hydrated.)
I watched the last of the smoke from the smudge stick drift up to where Henry and I were hanging out of the window. I didn’t know what to do, so I waved. “Hi, Sophie,” I said. “Welcome home.”