When I came to see you
It hurt me how thin you had become
In the months of addiction & disease
& although your particular abyss
Was a man & not a drug
The degradation was the same
The same wasting of the flesh
The same tapped-out well emptied
Of the least leaf of emotion
The same frozen rage
When I came to your hotel room
You were sitting in a hard chair
Just by the window
Half-slumped & distracted
Looking out at the persistent rain
Then silently back at me
Your ghost your own ghost
Had already come
She sat by you at the small table
& she was so hungry
At one point she reached over
Reached right inside you
& slowly twisted off a moist
Wafer of your heart
She put it in her mouth
& let it sit a moment on her tongue
Her lips parting in a way both
Petulant & suggestive
It was clear she would eat
All of you
I walked into the bathroom
& at the dulled zinc sink
I rinsed one by one
The fat spring strawberries
I’d brought you from the ranch
I put them in the white
Ceramic bowl
I’d carried from our kitchen
& without a word simply placed it
On the table
Just beside your ghost
She stared at me & then only
At the fleshy rubies awaiting her
& ate until only a few
Rivulets of blood traced
The bottom of the bowl & the green
Crowns she’d torn from
Their bodies
Lay scattered where
They had fallen at her feet
At last she seemed sated
Placated or even bored
She barely looked over as
I wrapped you in your overcoat
You glanced at her
& she at you
The rain
Still steady at the pane
& then I realized you could
Not stand
Alone & so I lifted you up
To take you home