The last time I checked my birth certificate, my name was still clearly stated as Rodney Ee, first son of Lionel Ee and Irene Chua. I was born and raised in Singapore, an island nation located at the confluence of the South China Sea and the Malacca Straits; a country also affectionately known as the Little Red Dot or Where in China is That?
If you trace my lineage through my last name, you would probably end up in a village somewhere in the Fujian province of China. But even though my ancestry is Chinese, my cultural identity is a hotchpotch of influences that include Malay, Indian and Western lifestyles, all mixed up like a flavourful blend of exotic spices.
At last count, I have travelled to 44 countries, a paltry number when you consider the exploits of a certain gentleman named Kashi Sammadar who travelled to all 194 countries of the world in a record time of six years, ten months and seven days; or a certain Matthew Harding, who despite being born with two left feet has managed to get thousands of beautiful women in almost every country in the world to dance with him — and get paid for it in the process!
Each time I visit a country, I always return feeling more humbled than before. Humbled at being just one out of seven billion other people on this incredible planet; humbled at its vast expanse and the diversity of its people and landscapes; humbled at the ease with which cultural barriers can be brought down with a simple smile, and immensely grateful for the many friends that I have made all over the world.
Travel around the globe has never been easier, and there is so much available information on virtually every country in the world on the internet and from travel channels on TV. With the advent of smartphones, this information has even moved from our desktops to our fingertips. And with satellite technology and map applications, getting from point A to point B is now a breeze, so long as you are not using Apple Maps to get to Mildura in northwestern Victoria.
In spite of all this readily-available knowledge about the world we live in, there are many people who still don’t seem to know where Singaporeans are from. Despite holding the record for the world’s largest cupcake mosaic and producing a onetime world record holder for SMS texting, many of us are still mistaken for other nationalities. Perhaps it is because we are such a tiny island devoid of any natural wonders, or because we don’t have a renowned beauty such as Aishwarya Rai or a football team that ever qualifies for the World Cup?
Regardless of the reason, I would like to state for the record that my name is not Konnichiwa. It is also not Arigato or Sayonara and it most certainly is not Panasonic, Mitsubishi, Yokohama, Toyota, Kawasaki or any other Japanese manufacturer that comes to mind.
I have nothing against the Japanese, and I have a profound respect for their culture and values. But when one is bombarded at every turn with shouts of KONNICHIIIIWAAA, KONNICHIIIIWAAAA, KONNICHIIIIWAAAAA!!! from cheeky shopkeepers while walking through the markets and souks of this world, I always get one step closer to being locked up abroad for culpable homicide. Maybe they are just being friendly, my wife Michelle tells me… or perhaps they are just ignorant of geography.
Whatever the case, I’m carrying a taser the next time I travel…