Certain websites should come with health advisories, especially those that advertise rates for Maldivian resort stays. While planning for my honeymoon, I nearly suffered a heart attack when I saw the listed prices for a one-night stay in some of the resorts that Michelle and I had shortlisted.
“Dear, come over and take a look at these prices!” I said, in a state of shock.
“Hmmm, that looks quite reasonable for four nights,” chirped my pleased bride-to-be.
“That’s not the rate for four nights! That’s what it costs for one night!” I replied.
There was silence for almost five minutes.
“Do you wanna go somewhere else instead?”
The sky was pitch black as we descended towards Malé Hulhule Airport, with the lights of Malé glittering in the distance. It was past our bedtime back in Singapore and there were more than a couple of sleepyheads in the cabin, but I hadn’t been able to sleep on the flight. Perhaps it was the thought of digging my feet into soft powdery sand, or snoozing under the shade of palm trees swaying in the breeze, or getting my feet wet in warm turquoise blue waters that was keeping me awake. Or was it the burning sensation in my pocket where my wallet was supposed to be?
Against our better judgment (and the state of our bank accounts), we had decided to bite the bullet and proceed with the trip. After all, we couldn’t afford not to go, not after the Conrad Maldives had given in to our incessant and desperate petitions for lower rates for our intended stay. Not after we had harped on the fact that we were going to celebrate our wedding at the Conrad Singapore, and therefore wanted dearly to continue the exquisite, the unrivalled, the exceptional, the sensational… (OK, that’s enough) Conrad experience all the way through to our honeymoon. Truth be told, our choice had no real correlation but was instead a happy consensus. After poring through review after review of potential hotels on Tripadvisor, and nearly going blind reading thousands of compliments and horror stories, Michelle had voted to stay at the Conrad. By mutual agreement, and in consideration of a happy honeymoon and a harmonious start to our marriage, I agreed.
This was a trip that we had been looking forward to for some time. It was our honeymoon, but we also saw it as an opportunity to just kick back and relax — a chance for hot-sand therapy for our weary feet, saltwater therapy for our un-moisturised bodies, and sun therapy for our pale skin. Aside from making the all-important decision of which resort to stay at, we had done little planning on what we were going to do once we got there. For someone guilty of cramming in vacation activities to the point of physical exhaustion (and subsequently needing another holiday immediately after), I had ventured into unfamiliar territory. But like a monk in a Las Vegas casino, it was exhilarating all the same.
After arriving in Malé, we had to spend the first night in an airport hotel located on the same island as the runway. This wasn’t an ideal arrangement but there were no seaplane transfers to all the Northern Atoll resorts after sunset. As this was also the only airport hotel located on the island, I surrendered at the hotel entrance, raised a white flag and paid a five-star price for a three-star room.
The next morning, we woke up early for breakfast before our transport was to arrive. Considering the price that we had paid for the room, the least we expected was a breakfast of champions, but what we got was breakfast for the last-placed — hard-boiled eggs, a few slices of cold bread, and jam and butter.
After checking out of the hotel, with the sky a pale concoction of orange and pinks and blue, we were driven around the main runway, past a curiously abandoned dhoni1 lying on its side and a small whitewashed mosque. In the distance, the city of Malé was visible through the slight morning haze — a congested-looking urban village that seemed to have been born of urban practicality rather than aesthetic planning. The sun had lifted itself higher into the empty sky by the time we reached the arrival concourse of the seaplane port, filling the air with warmth and painting the waiting area in the terminal in alternating stripes of black and orange.
As we boarded the seaplane, I felt the burning sensation in my pocket again. Before we had even stepped into the Conrad, we had already spent a bomb just trying to get there. The flight to the twin islands where the hotel was located was just a short half-hour hop and skip from Malé, but I was still nursing second-degree burns on my posterior after the pre-payment for the flight. But as the small aircraft climbed steadily towards the clouds, we left our financial woes behind us and eased into vacation mode, mesmerised by the gorgeous sunrise and the beautiful expanse of blue below us. We spotted the first few resorts not long after, like oil smudges in an otherwise dark blue ocean, and within them, small islands with green nuclei of trees and vegetation, fringed by glistening beaches and turquoise blue lagoons, with walkways leading outward to neat rows of wooden water villas.
As we approached the half-hour mark, the Conrad finally came into view, and without warning, the aircraft made a steep dive and pulled up horizontally just as we bumped onto the water, skipping three times before slowing down and turning towards the docking area. A welcoming party had gathered, lined up in their white uniforms with convivial smiles, and within five minutes, we were sipping on welcome cocktails and wiping our foreheads with cold towels while waiting for our guest relations officer (GRO) to brief us on the available facilities during our stay.
The resort, as we found out, is spread out over two islands, consisting of a combination of beach and water villas, six restaurants, two bars, two spas and Maldives’ finest underwater wine cellar. There is also a diving and sea sports centre, a gymnasium, an inviting swimming pool, and beach chairs and hammocks set up all over the two islands — all this in the middle of the Indian Ocean with an endless horizon of sea, sky and clouds.
We listened intently as the GRO gave us a rundown of the activities and schedules of the various events at the resort, paying special attention to her use of the word “complimentary”. There were complimentary drinks offered during happy hour at the Vilu Bar, complimentary sandwiches and tea in the early evening at the main lounge area, and as part of our package, we could choose two complimentary activities from their daily and weekly list of excursions. Rental of certain equipment such as flippers, snorkelling gear and tennis racquets was also complimentary. Everything else was unfortunately not complimentary, and that included an early check-in to our room. Somehow, after getting to bed past midnight and being dragged out of bed at an ungodly 5am, we thought it reasonable to expect that we could continue our beauty rest at the Conrad, but all we got was complimentary baggage stowage until 2pm and a free map of the resort.
Finally, after swinging around in some hammocks and resting in the lounge area, we checked in just before 2pm and began the real honeymoon at last — an exercise in love enhancement, relationship building, stress relief, and above all, wealth preservation. Every morning, as our eyes slowly adjusted to the morning light, we would stare at the ceiling, oblivious to the time, watching the sunlight filter through the wooden blinds, creating jagged lines that mirrored the ebb and flow of the tides. As the last order for breakfast (which was included in our package) was at 11am, we would leave our villa at around 10.30am, order a cluttered table worth of food and slowly tuck into our mini buffet so as to skip lunch and save money in the process. Over a leisurely meal, we would gaze out at the sparkling clear waters, watching as the dhoni connecting the two islands made its rhythmic journey back and forth, and trying to decide if the dhoni crew had the best job in the world, or one most likely to lead to manic depression for excessive repetition.
We would spend our days lazing away, dressed appropriately in as little clothing and footwear as possible, and never once missing our complimentary tea and sandwiches on the main island, before hopping onto the dhoni for free happy hour drinks at the Vilu Bar. Then we would head back to our villa to witness the gorgeous sunsets as the sun sank slowly into the ocean, painting the sky with glorious hues of orange, red and purple before the blanket of night brought out the stars. Come nightfall, we would pick a restaurant for dinner and share a main course until it was time to retire for the day.
On one of the evenings, we also managed to catch one of nature’s finest (free) marine performances from the bridge that connects the two islands of the resort. All we did was walk to the middle of the bridge and peer into the waters below — spotlights positioned below the bridge had pierced the clear waters, causing the silver bodies of fish swimming underneath to sparkle under the light. At around 10pm, the performance began with the appearance of dark shadows from mysterious sea creatures, that glided on the sea floor with impeccable grace before spiralling up to the surface to blink at captivated audiences, and then disappearing into the darkness with a wave and a dive.
Getting to see these wild manta rays up close and personal was a deeply moving and touching experience. Best of all, we caught glimpses of these stunning creatures without even donning wetsuits, or having to pay for expensive dives to the depths of the ocean. In fact, our snorkelling trips amidst the surrounding reef and around our villa also yielded exciting sightings of large schools of colourful tropical fish, given the blessed abundance of marine life all around the islands.
We also had the privilege of spending some time in the Conrad’s unique underwater restaurant one afternoon. The restaurant is located below one of the bars and is shaped like a glass tunnel, and can comfortably seat about 15 people at any one time. It was a fascinating experience, as the rays of the overhead sun filtered through the translucent waves, bathing the restaurant in a surreal glow from above. Schools of fishes would dart across the glass exteriors, their bodies adding textures to the beautiful wave-like motifs on the restaurant floor. The degustation dinner menu was degustatingly expensive, so we ended up just having an overpriced cocktail and some bite-size tidbits that were, quite literally, the size of a bite. Thankfully, aside from Michelle, I didn’t have to buy anyone else drinks.
During our stay, we also visited a nearby fishing village, which was a bit of a disappointment as there were no fishing boats docked at the time. Instead, the trip turned out to be an exercise in souvenir hunting as we dashed from shop to shop in search of air-conditioned comfort to escape the searing heat. The souvenirs on sale did not even look like they were manufactured in the Maldives, and the amount we paid for them probably compensated for the expensive freight cost from India or China.
On our final night, we took part in a fishing expedition as part of the selection of activities offered in our package. As we perched on the roof of the dhoni in the darkness of the night, the stars felt closer and brighter than ever before. With the cool breeze brushing our cheeks and hair, we gave thanks to God for this wonderful experience and prayed that our credit card limits would not be breached when we checked out. The fishing expedition wasn’t very productive but Michelle did manage to catch a single barracuda, which became our lightly salted lunch the next day. But imagine my shock when the bill arrived and we had to fork out 40 dollars for a fish that we had caught ourselves! What the fish?!
By the time we left the resort, we were five days older, five days wiser, five days more refreshed and very much poorer. It had been a brief but personal affair with the Maldives — a honeymoon, a vacation, and above all, a thoroughly relaxing and enjoyable time. But even as we left, we couldn’t help thinking that it really was a shame that everything was so overpriced, because paradise should never come at so high a price!
1 A multi-purpose sail boat used in the Maldives, often fitted with diesel motors these days