Chapter Thirty-Eight

The new year dawned with Elizabeth Bennet feeling settled in her new home with her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner. For six weeks she found a steady routine of attending minor social events with her relatives and assisting her uncle with various menial tasks for his business. Elizabeth had always possessed prodigious skill in sums and fine details, so her uncle set her to work on the inventory numbers for his many businesses.

If her mother knew, she would be most cross with Elizabeth for deigning to take on a trade. But Elizabeth was quite adamant with her aunt and uncle that for as long as they would house and feed her, she wished to earn her keep. And if they refused, she warned them she would seek employment elsewhere. Madeline and Edward Gardiner had little choice but to embrace their niece's talents. They were quick to insist on hiding the fact that as a gentlewoman, Elizabeth Bennet was employed.

On an afternoon in early January, Elizabeth received her second letter from Jane and she energetically joined her aunt in the parlor to share the news.

"How strange, I have written four letters to Jane and this is only my second one in return," Elizabeth said with a puzzled expression.

Madeline Gardiner put aside the set of small clothing she was sewing for yet another addition to the family that was on its way. It was too early to make any announcements, but her daily bouts of nausea each morning made her certain it would not be long before she and her husband would need to make preparations for another child. "There are many more demands on a married woman's time, Elizabeth, than you may know. I'm certain Jane does not intend insult by writing to you less frequently and is penning the responses as quickly as she is able." Mrs. Gardiner tried to comfort her niece.

The rift in the Bennet family caused by the rejection of Mr. Collins' proposal was still a highly sensitive subject for Elizabeth. When she first arrived, she fell into a deep depression worrying both Mrs. Gardiner and her husband, nary eating a morsel for over a week. The last thing Mrs. Gardiner wished to do was remind Elizabeth of the dreadful circumstances.

"Tell me what the letter says?" Mrs. Gardiner requested, resuming her sewing.

Elizabeth read the letter out loud, reciting the pretty words Jane penned for the town of Bath, and the many sites and excursions she and Mr. Bingley enjoyed. As Elizabeth continued to recite, she paused for a moment when she reached the portion of the letter where Jane mentioned a new name. Apparently, Jane and Mary befriended a young woman named Mrs. Georgiana Wickham who Jane described as sadder on more days than not.

"Jane says a miserable marriage is a consequence too grave for an innocent. I wonder what she means. Aunt?" Elizabeth's breath caught in her chest. Jane remained neutral over the actions of their parents the day of her wedding, sending support to her favorite sister but not outright condemning their parents. Was Jane now extending an olive branch?

Mrs. Gardiner reached for the letter. She frowned as she read over the account of how Mary and Jane tried to cheer Mrs. Wickham, who also appeared to be on her wedding trip. "Perhaps Mrs. Wickham comes from a different social status? Where Jane has made the happy match of true regard for Mr. Bingley, Mrs. Wickham may not have been afforded such a luxury."

"You mean her parents forced her to marry Mr. Wickham like my parents might have forced me," Elizabeth said softly.

Mrs. Gardiner covered her mouth with her hand for a moment as a brief sense of nausea swept over her. When she was certain it passed, she approached her niece deep in thought on the other side of parlor. "Your parents actions were cruel and extreme, Lizzie, but I do not think they would have done such without knowing your strength of character and you would always have a home here. It likely would have been worse for you had they forced you to wed Mr. Collins."

Elizabeth stared up at her aunt with tear-stained cheeks and nodded. It had taken time, but she could feel in her heart of hearts that although her father did nothing to protect her the day her mother cast her out of the house, there were also many other things he did not do. Not forcing her to marry that beast of a man, William Collins, was one small gesture she clung to as a sign she still had her father's love.

"I believe I might take a rest if that's acceptable? Would you mind terribly giving my regrets to Uncle?" Elizabeth was due to take the carriage over to the warehouses within the hour. But she knew her emotions were still unsettled and the last thing she wished to do was lose the respect of her uncle and his staff by blubbering over parchment in the office.

As both Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner held hope that Elizabeth would lose interest in the business, it was no trouble at all for her aunt to dismiss her upstairs and send a note of regret to her husband. In fact, Mrs. Gardiner wished fervently her favorite niece would one day find a man worthy of her regard.

As Elizabeth removed herself upstairs, Mrs. Gardiner resumed her sewing and gazed out the window to the watch the horses and carriages passing by. When Elizabeth reached the small room she had taken for her stay, she carefully placed Jane's letter in the drawer with her treasured possessions. Adding the post to the carefully tied stack with a lavender ribbon, her eyes fell upon the copy of Shakespeare's sonnets that belonged to Mr. Darcy.

Nearly four months passed since the lighthearted afternoon in which she met the one man she both esteemed and respected. But he vanished from her life with nary a trace except for the one book he forgot to take with him. Her finger delicately traced the indentation in the leather binding along the spine as her mind battled with her heart. Her sister's words about a miserable marriage swirled in her head and Elizabeth found herself overwhelmed with the desire to act!

Clarity about her position flooded her senses as she was a woman with the power to shape her own destiny! Lost in the Purgatory between a sheltered gentlewoman and the freedom of a working woman, Elizabeth knew she would always regret losing the acquaintance of Mr. Darcy. Rushing to her closet, she pulled out her nicest frock and quickly changed out of her simpler work dress. Not usually a woman concerned with the fripperies of a lady's dress, Elizabeth took the time to ensure every button was in place and her gloves were pristine. As she pinned a hat in place she gazed at her reflection in the mirror turning her head from side to side and congratulating herself on effecting a respectable appearance without a maid. Securing the book from her drawer with her reticule, Elizabeth returned downstairs trying to piece out the explanation she was going to give her aunt. She harbored no desire to lie to the woman but she also could not come out and tell the truth that she planned to take a carriage to a man's home.

"Elizabeth! Why you look – you're dressed too nicely to head over to the offices. Have you received an invitation?"

"No, I mean yes," Elizabeth stared at the book in her hands for inspiration, "when I was ill at Netherfield, one of Miss Bingley's friends loaned me this book. As I put Jane's letter away, I recalled she was spending the winter in London and her address is on the inside. I thought I might call to return it."

Mrs. Gardiner accepted Lizzie’s words as truth, but something about her niece's demeanor, a nervousness that seemed to hang on Elizabeth's shoulders which was not normally there, spurred her intuition there was more to the story. However, Elizabeth was six months from her majority, and a modicum of trust was required if she and her husband were to see Elizabeth find her way in life. "I can call the carriage if you'd like."

Elizabeth began to panic. If she rode in the Gardiner carriage the driver would report back exactly where she had gone. She was certain she was not ready to reveal her destination, yet. Her spontaneous plan to visit Mr. Darcy might turn into a complete disaster and Elizabeth would not abide more family members ashamed of her behavior. "No, there's no need, I shall hire a hackney. I'm not sure if my friend and I will visit at length, and I wouldn't wish to hold uncle up in his needs."

"Forgive me, I appear to have missed the name of this friend of yours. She does have a name?" Mrs. Gardiner eyed her niece carefully.

"Miss Lavinia Williams." The first name that came to mind tumbled out of Elizabeth's mouth. Seeing her aunt worry about the situation, Elizabeth decided to add to her small untruth. "Miss Williams attended school with Miss Bingley, her family is in trade but has done well."

Madeline Gardiner knew of a number of families with the surname of Williams, and some of them did indeed have daughters similar in age to Elizabeth. Which family it was that had a daughter named Lavinia, Mrs. Gardiner was not certain, but she felt better she had enough pertinent information should she need to retrieve Elizabeth.

Elizabeth was farewelled by her aunt and given the convenience of Gracechurch Street to the many docks and warehouses of London, Elizabeth had little trouble hailing a hackney-chaise within a few feet of the front door. As the driver asked her where she wished to go, she said the address that was quite familiar to her from her months of study.

"Number 12, Grosvenor Square, if you please."