Chapter Forty

Darcy's carriage arrived in front of Hyde Park exactly one hour before the agreed upon time of their meeting. Running his staff ragged as he changed clothes no fewer than three times, finally selecting a hunter green waistcoat with his favorite black coat, he strangled the poor bouquet of flowers he had Mrs. Potter fetch from the market. He wanted red roses, but with it being winter, the selection was less than ideal, so he held a bouquet of pale pink and red roses instead. Every few moments he fretted with the arrangement, trying to improve its appearance.

Furtively he peered out the window facing onto the park, searching for any sign of Elizabeth's arrival. Each time his search proved fruitless, he cursed himself for not insisting upon learning where she was staying. In fact, he found it peculiar she would be so vague about the details. One of her sisters in Hertfordshire had said that she was gone, never to return, and the other had yelled at the first one for speaking such. Had Elizabeth fallen victim to some scandal in Hertfordshire while he was away?

The numerous questions flooding his mind gave Darcy a headache. His attentions had been conscripted by the debacle in his own household, causing him to miss a number of obviously very vital few weeks in his beloved's life.

Beloved. The word sprang to his mind with such ease, Darcy resolved at this meeting he would declare his intentions to his Elizabeth however she wished. He worked through these thoughts three times more before he was rewarded with the appearance of another hackney-chaise and Miss Elizabeth descending from the carriage wearing a pale pink cloak over her gown and a matching muff.

Mr. Darcy alighted from his carriage and hurried to pay the driver before Elizabeth might.

"Mr. Darcy, that was unnecessary," Elizabeth said, nervous from the connotations implied to yet another nameless driver of hired carriages with regard to her reputation.

"Forgive me, but it is not in my nature to allow ladies of my acquaintance to suffer in my presence. I believe that includes their purse."

Elizabeth covered her mouth to giggle at Mr. Darcy's tease. Her eyes fell upon the bouquet of flowers in the man's hand, and her breath caught in her throat.

"Are those for me?" Elizabeth's mind flitted back to the precious couple at the inn who had exchanged one flower, and here she was to receive an entire bouquet of roses in January! They certainly were most expensive to procure.

Darcy glanced at the flowers, at once feeling the gesture completely inadequate to represent his emotions. He gazed at Elizabeth and seeing her face lit up with joy, he lost his self-consciousness and happily handed the bouquet to his lady.

"A token of my affection, if I may be so bold as to say, Miss Elizabeth."

The words were the music of the grandest symphony performing in London to Elizabeth's ears, but that niggling thought of what Mr. Darcy expected of their acquaintance still needled her. They began to make the circuit around the famous Hyde Park that was nearly deserted, given the cold weather and unfashionable hour.

Elizabeth complimented the grounds keeping and sights, and Mr. Darcy happily concurred. He did not wish to tell her it was a delight to have someone so unfamiliar with London experience it for the first time. As they reached an area of shrubbery that had been carved into delightful animal forms, Elizabeth's joy bubbled over. Darcy laughed and laughed as she mimicked some of the noises the animals made, and he joined in by gallantly impersonating an elephant.

Elizabeth doubled over in laughter at Mr. Darcy's silliness. Seeing his Elizabeth enjoy such easy company, Darcy was overcome with emotion, and he approached her, bringing their persons much too close.

As Elizabeth stood there inhaling the woodsy scent from Mr. Darcy's chest, she gazed up at him and realized the moment she had feared had come. Steeling herself to lose this man forever, she found her voice.

"Mr. Darcy, I fear you may have expectations that I cannot fulfill."

He took a step back and glanced at her askance. "Are you promised to another?"

The forwardness of such a question would ordinarily receive a tease, but for once Elizabeth Bennet knew this was no time for humor. "No, sir."

"Then I am unable to understand what you mean, Miss Elizabeth. I ask you to speak plainly, ma'am, as I've experienced a great deal of misunderstanding in the last few months that has wreaked havoc on my personal life."

Elizabeth began to walk again, and Darcy took long strides to remain next to her. Her feet moved rapidly as she desperately feared whatever she said next would ruin such a perfect day. "I cannot become your mistress, sir."

Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy halted. Stunned into silence at such a bold statement, he worked hard to regulate his immediate flush of anger.

Losing her companion a few steps behind her, Elizabeth slowed and turned around. The expression on his face pierced her heart, and she began to tear up, though she wished most fervently not to cry.

"I believe it's time we say our goodbyes, Mr. Darcy." Elizabeth curtsied, nodded and began to walk away.

"A moment of your time, madam," Fitzwilliam Darcy said in his Master of Pemberley voice.

Frightened, Elizabeth stopped and turned around yet again. It was the least she could do since she had sought the man out and now told him she would not live up to the expectations her behavior had suggested.

"Precisely when did I give you the impression I wanted you to become my mistress? And precisely when did I make you think I would be such a man to have a mistress?"

A sudden wave of regret washed over Elizabeth's heart. She never thought her words might insult him! That he was angry, she could see without fail. All she could do was apologize.

"I am so terribly sorry; I made a grave mistake."

Fitzwilliam gazed upon her with forgiveness in his eyes. He had not considered she might misinterpret his gift and suggestion they meet again in the park. After all, he allowed her to conceal her living situation, and he hardly asked any questions. What if it was not relatives she was staying with? Darcy realized now was the time he and Elizabeth had a candid exchange.

"I believe I would not be remiss to say that a great deal has occurred in our lives since we last saw each other in Hertfordshire, am I correct?"

Elizabeth nodded.

"Then I propose this. Come with me to Darcy House. We shall sit down and discuss our situations with the honesty and respect our friendship deserves."

Elizabeth bit her lower lip and glanced at his carriage. She was still uncertain about her behavior. She so desired the freedom of a woman not bound by the strictures of society, but the realization of such behavior left her exposed, without protection.

Sensing her hesitation, Darcy approached her once more. Gently lifting her hand to his lips, he kissed the top of it over her gloves. "Miss Elizabeth Bennet, there is no other woman in the world I respect or esteem more. It is my ardent wish to one day ask you to become Mrs. Darcy."

Elizabeth drew in her breath, elated but then confused as she realized he had not actually proposed. "One day?"

"Come with me and I will explain all. My family has many demands upon me, and at the moment my life is not my own to freely give."

The pain etched in the fine lines around Mr. Darcy's eyes convinced Elizabeth this man needed her. She agreed to retire to Darcy House with him, prepared to learn exactly why it was he could not offer for her hand in marriage.