Despite her avowed self-confidence, Gabrielle felt trapped and more than a little worried. She had no choice now but to treat the upcoming party as a challenge. She knew perfectly well that Paul expected it to be a disaster, maybe even hoped it would be. She also knew that their future hinged in some twisted, obscure way on its success. While she resented having her fate tied to something so superficial, she accepted the situation, gritted her teeth and set out to prove Paul wrong.
Thankfully, being a politician’s daughter had equipped her to play hostess at almost any kind of event from a Fourth of July picnic in a town square to a gala at the country club. She’d campaigned in factories and bowling alleys as readily as antebellum estates. She could make polite small talk with people she’d never seen before and would never see again, leaving each one convinced they were indelibly etched on her memory. It was easy enough to convince herself that unless Paul dragged in homicidal maniacs, she could maintain her aplomb.
In addition, planning a party for thirty people in her own home should be a piece of cake. She’d learned from a master. Her mother approached entertaining with the skill of a tactical expert in a military command post. Gabrielle knew all about guest lists and food quantities and wine selection. What she didn’t know about, of course, were the tastes of Paul’s friends.
It was the unknown factor, combined with the stakes, that gave all of her careful planning an edge of panic. A full week before the Saturday night party, she found herself filling a grocery cart with six different beers—imported and domestic, light and regular—because she had no idea which one Paul’s friends might like. She bought pâté and little quiches at a gourmet French bakery, then in a frenzy of uncertainty added bags of potato chips and pretzels to the menu. She polished her silver, then decided to use Paul’s stainless steel flatware. She went through the closet and picked out a basic designer dress suitable for any occasion, then changed her mind and dragged out comfortable jeans and a handknit sweater.
Unless she asked him a direct question, Paul virtually ignored the preparations. On Saturday his contribution was a trip to the corner for ice, which he dumped in the tub—before she’d had her bath. At her scowl of displeasure, he took it back out and stored it in the already crammed refrigerator. Later, as he returned the ice to the tub and added the assorted six packs of beer, she caught him grinning.
“What’s so funny?” she asked, glowering. She was in no mood for amusement at her expense.
“You could open a bar with this variety.”
“If you’d offered any suggestions, I might not have had to buy a little of everything.”
“My friends will drink whatever’s available. Won’t yours?” he inquired.
“Go to hell.”
The evening was certainly getting off to a stellar start, she thought as she put the finishing touches on a clam dip surrounded by chilled vegetables. Even the disparate guests were likely to get along better than the host and hostess. She absentmindedly snapped a carrot stick in two, then threw the pieces into the trash in disgust.
“Gaby.”
“What?”
“This is not worth having a nervous breakdown over.”
“Isn’t it? You’re hoping everyone will have a rotten time, just so you can say I told you so and move out of here with a clear conscience.”
He came up close behind her and slid his arms around her waist. The fresh, tangy scent of his after-shave teased her senses. “No. I’m not.”
“You are.” She turned around in his embrace so she could read his expression. “And I want your friends to like me. I really do, but if they don’t, it shouldn’t have anything to do with what’s happening between us. I’m not worried about what my friends think of you.”
“Aren’t you?”
“No.”
“How many of your friends did you invite?”
“Okay. I only invited a few, but I don’t have that many close friends here anyway. Ted and Kathy were the only couple I got really close to and Jeff was an office pal. They’re the only people I’ve stayed in touch with. And no matter what you think, I am not a believer in the old adage that you can judge a person by the friends he keeps. People develop relationships—and marriages, for that matter—for all sorts of reasons.”
“I know that,” he said with a sigh.
Despite the reassuring words, the tone wasn’t convincing. Gabrielle’s feeling of dread returned as she turned back to the arrangement of carrot and celery sticks. Paul left to put music on the stereo.
When the first knock came at the door, she tensed and wondered exactly how long she could get away with taking refuge in the kitchen. Despite the fact that she was never more than three feet from the stove, the quiches burned because she forgot all about them as she tried to hear how things were going in the living room.
She was on the verge of tears, infuriated by her own silly retreat, when Paul returned to the kitchen for beers for the first arrivals.
“What’s wrong?” he asked at once.
“I burned the quiches.”
“There’s enough food in there to feed all the homeless in Manhattan. Don’t worry about the quiches. Just come on out.”
She shook her head.
He stared at her. “Why not? I thought you were going to stop worrying about how well everyone got along and just enjoy this party. I thought you wanted to prove something to me tonight.”
She glared at him. Talk about throwing down the gauntlet or hoisting her with her own petard. The man had a particularly nasty habit of throwing her words back in her face.
“Let’s go,” she said determinedly, aware that there was an unmistakable note of doom in her voice.
Once in the living room she noticed that people actually seemed to be enjoying themselves. Jeff Lyons, who was handsome, funny and gay, was discussing racketball with one of Paul’s friends. Ted and Kathy waved from across the room, where they were talking to a young blond man she recognized as a member of Paul’s work crew. A beautiful woman with spiky black hair and a studded leather jacket over her denim miniskirt was enthusiastically describing her latest art exhibit to a rapt woman in a Norma Kamali original. Since Gabrielle didn’t recognize either one of them, she assumed they were both friends of Paul’s. Apparently his own social circle contained an eclectic mix.
So, she thought with the first flicker of relief, it wasn’t going to be so awful. People weren’t sorting themselves out into his friends and hers with an obvious chasm in between. Maybe she’d been right all along. She allowed herself a small, triumphant smirk before going to introduce herself to the artist. She seemed like a likely person to begin with. They would at least have art in common.
She had barely given her name when the artist’s heavily made-up dark brown eyes widened to the size of a Kewpie doll’s. “So you are the one. I’m so glad to finally meet you. I’m Theresa. Paul tells me he brought you to see some of my work.”
An unfortunate image of auto parts entwined with clocks came to mind. Tongue-tied with astonishment, Gabrielle stared at her. “Yes,” she said finally. “It was…”
Theresa laughed. “Don’t bother trying to be polite. My work falls into that love it or hate it category. Maybe if I did something a little more mainstream, I wouldn’t be broke all the time.” She shrugged indifferently. “What’s money, though, as long as I have my artistic integrity intact?”
“Money pays the bills,” the owner of the Norma Kamali outfit said. “Maybe you should just marry wealth the way I did. I can paint what I want without worrying about critical or popular success.”
“Don’t pay any attention to all that cynical talk,” Theresa said. “Maureen is also crazy in love with the man in spite of his millions and her work is now selling for $2500 a canvas. By the way, Gabrielle, Paul was telling us you’re responsible for the decor in here. It’s fantastic. You have a real eye for color and proportion.”
Gabrielle tried to survey the room with an objective eye. It was better than before, but hardly the stuff of an interior designer’s dreams.
“I’m glad you like it,” she said cautiously, wondering how much simple politeness had contributed to the compliment.
“I do. Did it cost a fortune? I know I’m being terribly nosy, but when you’ve lived in a dump like mine, this looks wonderful. I’d give anything to have my place fixed up like this, but most of my money goes right back into art supplies.”
“Actually, I did this on half a shoestring.”
Maureen looked surprisingly impressed. “How? I just paid a fortune to an interior designer and the results aren’t half as interesting. My apartment looks exactly like twenty others on the Upper West Side.”
Basking in the apparent enthusiasm, Gabrielle described her forays through the secondhand stores and fabric shops. “Actually, it was fun. I refinished the furniture myself. It’s not exactly professional caliber work, but there’s a sense of adventure in discovering what’s under all the grime.”
“It looks great to me,” Theresa said enthusiastically. “I don’t suppose you’d like to take on a client. You’d have to work with a pretty limited budget and we’d have to negotiate your commission, but I’d love to see what you could do with my place.”
The idea intrigued her. “What exactly would you need to have done?”
“Everything,” Maureen said fervently before Theresa could respond. “How an artist can live in that dreary place is beyond me. I’d be painting in black and gray. Come to think of it maybe that does explain your sculpture.”
“Very funny. As you can see, Gabrielle, I do need help. Paul volunteered to come over sometime and help me paint, but I haven’t even had time to pick out a color scheme.”
“Thank God,” Maureen said. “Her idea of subtlety is purple and orange.”
Gabrielle laughed. “I suppose I could take a look at your place and see if I get any ideas. I wouldn’t want to charge you for it, though. I have some time right now and I enjoy digging around for bargains.”
“Oh, no,” Theresa said. “This is business. Don’t sell yourself short. Turning an empty space into a warm, inviting home is a talent. I insist on paying you for it.”
Just then Jeff came over. She introduced him to the two women, then after a promise to call Theresa about the decorating, she began circulating, checking the food, greeting newcomers. She finally made her way to Paul, who was chatting enthusiastically with Ted and Kathy. To her surprise they were discussing the construction of the apartments. Ted was amazingly knowledgeable.
“I was just telling Paul that Kathy and I have been looking for a place just this size,” Ted said, after giving her a kiss. “We want to move before the baby comes.”
“But you have a wonderful apartment,” she protested. Paul’s arm settled around her shoulders. She was surprised at how right the gesture felt and how casually Paul had made it. Perhaps he was beginning to relax with the success of the evening, too. She glanced at Ted, trying to judge his reaction, but he seemed far more interested in examining the quality of the woodwork.
“A wonderful, expensive, small apartment,” Kathy corrected, rubbing her hand over her expanding belly. “It’s not big enough for us and the baby. I’m not going to be working for at least a few months after the baby is born and with the market slow right now, we don’t want to get in over our heads financially.”
“You could rent one of these, if you’re interested,” Paul said. Gabrielle stared at him in astonishment. The second and third floor were already rented. The tenants were moving in December first. The only empty apartment was Paul’s on the ground floor. He’d intended to move in next week. They hadn’t discussed what their living arrangements would be after that. This was the first indication she’d had that Paul was actually thinking that they should continue living together.
“I could show you the one that’s available,” he offered now.
Kathy’s eyes lit up. “I’d love to see it.”
“But don’t you think it’s a little too far out?” Gabrielle said, still feeling that a move that had turned out to be so right for her might be very wrong for Ted and Kathy. “The neighborhood is still in transition. It’s not what you’re used to.”
“But it’s on the way up, not down,” Ted countered. “I noticed that as we were driving over.”
“But you should be thinking of buying, not pouring your money into rent,” Gabrielle said, not sure exactly why she was fighting the idea of having these two lovely people as neighbors when they were clearly enthusiastic about the prospect.
“Right now all the property we like is out of our price range. I’d rather rent someplace like this for a while, so we can build our savings,” Kathy said. “Ted, let’s go look.”
“I’ll stay here,” Gabrielle said, watching as Paul led them away. He and Ted were already exchanging ideas for further development of the neighborhood. Astonishing, she thought as she watched them go.
She was in the kitchen when they came back. Kathy’s face was alight with excitement. “It’s wonderful,” she enthused. “The second bedroom will be perfect for a nursery. We’re going to talk about it some more, but I think we’re going to take it.”
She hugged Gabrielle. “I have to get home and put this soccer kicker inside me to bed, but thank you so much for inviting us over tonight. It’s been far too long since we’ve seen you. It would be fantastic to have you and Paul for neighbors.”
“Yes,” Gabrielle said, feeling numb at the speed with which events seemed to be taking place. Decisions had been made tonight she hadn’t been consulted on and couldn’t begin to understand.
It wasn’t until all the guests had left and Paul was stretched out on the sofa that she had a chance to think about her reaction to the prospect of having Ted and Kathy living downstairs.
“Come sit with me,” Paul said.
“I want to get some of this mess cleaned up.”
“It can wait. I want to talk to you.”
Sighing, she went to join him. He pulled her down into his lap, his arms around her waist. The increasingly familiar sense of belonging crept over her as she leaned back against his chest.
“I thought the evening went well,” he said, his fingers idly stroking her stomach.
“Yes.”
“Why so down, Gaby? I thought you’d be gloating. It all worked out, just the way you expected it to. I like your friends. You like mine. Nobody was standing in judgment of anyone else.”
“It was all very civilized,” she agreed testily.
“I thought it was better than that. People actually seemed to be having fun. Our lives are blending together.”
“I suppose.”
He kissed the back of her neck. “Then what’s the problem?”
“How can you rent that apartment to Ted and Kathy?” she blurted finally. “It’s all wrong for them.”
“How do you figure that? They want two bedrooms. It has two bedrooms. They want a moderate rent. I’m asking a moderate rent. The garden even gives them a place for the baby to play.”
Unexpected tears welled in her eyes. “How terrific for them,” she said.
“Gaby! Don’t you want them here?” He sounded confused and dismayed. “They’re your friends. I thought you’d love the idea of having them nearby.”
“It’s not that,” she said, recognizing that she was babbling incoherently, but not sure exactly what the real problem was.
“That was supposed to be your apartment,” she said finally.
She heard Paul’s sharp intake of breath. “I see. I didn’t realize you were so anxious for me to move downstairs.”
“It’s not that, either.”
“Are you upset because I just assumed you’d want me to stay up here with you?” he asked patiently.
“No. It’s… it’s the garden.” The minute she’d said it, she felt absolutely ridiculous, but she knew it was the truth. She loved that garden. She’d been waiting for the day in the spring when it would be blooming just beyond their living room window.
“What?” Paul said, clearly baffled.
“I wanted the garden to be ours.”
“It is ours.”
“No. It will be theirs.”
“Did you want us to move downstairs? Is that it?”
She smiled shakily. “Silly, isn’t it? I guess that is what I wanted. We worked on that apartment together. I picked out the paint and the Formica for the kitchen. I sanded those floors. I thought of it as ours.”
“But you worked so hard to decorate this one. I guess I thought you’d rather stay here. I can always tell Ted and Kathy that this is the one for rent.”
“That’s dumb. This is a perfectly wonderful apartment and you’re right, we have gotten it fixed up just the way we wanted it…except for the tub in the kitchen, that is. And Kathy shouldn’t have to climb all those stairs.”
“Does that mean it’s okay with you, if we rent to them?”
“Yes.”
His fingers stroked even more possessively across her abdomen. “I’m glad it matters to you where we live,” he said softly. “But the main thing is, we’re still going to be together. I have to admit that we got past a big hurdle tonight.”
Yes, she thought, allowing herself to indulge in a feeling of contentment at last. That was one thing that had come out of tonight. They were together, bound more inextricably than ever.
“I had a talk with your friend Theresa,” she told him. “She wants to pay me to help her decorate her place.”
“That’s great. Are you going to do it?”
“I thought it might be fun. At least it’ll keep me busy until I finally decide what I want to do.”
“Maybe this is what you should be doing with the rest of your life,” he suggested slowly, as if trying to gauge her reaction. “You enjoy it. There’s a need for it.”
“Don’t be silly. The is just a one-shot deal. It’ll keep me from going crazy until I find real work.”
“Maybe,” he said, but there was a more hopeful look in his eyes than she’d ever seen before.
“You really think this could be the answer for me, don’t you?”
“Think about it. You seemed awfully happy when you were fixing this place up. You were excited every time you discovered some treasure buried in a secondhand store. Isn’t that what a career should be? Something that’s fun, as well as lucrative?”
“But this is more like a hobby.”
“Only because you’ve treated it that way. It doesn’t have to be. It could be good for us, too.”
She drew in a deep breath. “What do you mean?”
“It’s something we could do together. It would be a natural. You could think up some jazzy little name for the business, even print up cards. When I do jobs, people are always asking me if I know anyone who does decorating for less than an arm and a leg. We could specialize in low-cost but very classy renovations.”
“You might be right. It would put us on an equal footing,” she said thoughtfully, unaware of Paul’s sudden tension.
“Meaning?”
“It would put an end to this hang-up you have about me being better than you.”
Paul pushed her aside and stood up, his expression furious. “Dammit, you just don’t get it, do you?”
“What’s wrong?” she asked as he paced around the room, raking his fingers through his hair.
“Can’t you see that this has nothing to do with putting us on an equal footing economically? I want you to be happy. If going back to a brokerage house, putting in endless hours and developing ulcers in a quest for a six-figure income makes you happy, then go for it. My ego can stand it if you make ten times what I do. I love you, Gabrielle. I’m not trying to own you.”
Breathless and wide-eyed, she stared at him. “You love me?”
He stopped pacing and stood gazing down at her. “I suppose I do,” he said as if the thought had just made itself very plain for the first time.
A soft smile began slowly, then blossomed across her face. That warm, melting feeling played havoc with her senses. “Then why are you so far away, when you could be down here holding me?”
After a hesitation that went on so long it almost frightened her into thinking he was having second thoughts, he moved back to her side at last. She knew as his lips came down hard on hers that simply saying the words did not assure them of an easy time of it from now on, but it was a start. With their feelings out in the open, they could finally begin to make decisions about what was best not just for them as individuals, but for the two of them together. It was unlikely that they would always agree, but they were learning the art and rewards of communication and compromise.
For now, though, his mouth was hot and urgent against hers and problems that might creep up in the future were the last thing on her mind.