50

Coffboggan

“That is preposterous!” announced Mrs Trifle grandly.

“With respect, madam, I think the Squadron Leader is on to something!” replied Grandpa.

“Thank you, sir!” said the boy. “If we’re lucky, a high-speed coffin should protect us from the flames for just long enough. We just need to find the largest one, and fasten the roller-skates to the bottom of it with the string.”

Mrs Trifle harrumphed again – she was quite a harrumpher – but joined in the search. Working as a team, the three had soon found the largest coffin. Then as fast as they could they tied the roller-skates to the underside with the string. Next the three lifted the coffin off its stand, and placed it on the floor.

Jack rolled it to and fro, and Grandpa smiled. He had taught the young boy well – this was a quite brilliant plan.

As soon as Jack opened the door, he could feel the intense heat from the fire. Thick black smoke was now billowing everywhere. In haste, the three wheeled the coffin out on to the landing. When they reached the stairs, they saw a huge wall of flames at the bottom, waiting to swallow them up. They were running out of time. Fast.

“Mrs Trifle?” began Jack.

“Yes, dear?”

“You lie down in here first, please.”

“Oh, this is most undignified!” she complained, but did what she was told and clambered into the contraption. Jack kept the heavy lid under his arm, then gave the order.

“Right, Wing Commander, full throttle, please!”

“Roger!” replied Grandpa.

The two unlikely heroes ran alongside this coffin on wheels, gathering as much speed as they could.

It was as if the coffin was a toboggan.

A coffin toboggan.

A coffboggan.

As they were about to reach the top of the stairs, the pair leaped in behind Mrs Trifle. Jack first. Then Grandpa. The old lady shrieked as the coffboggan thumped down the stairs at speed…

…heading straight into the mouth of the inferno. Jack pulled the lid in place over them and held it tight.

Inside the coffboggan, it was now pitch black. As it bumped and banged, first down the staircase, then along the downstairs corridors, the three felt a sudden surge of intense heat.

It was HOT HOT HOT.

For a moment, it was as if they were three joints of meat roasting in an oven.

Then…

…the coffboggan smashed straight through the front door.

BOOM!

Jack’s plan had worked like a dream.

YES!

All of a sudden the sound of the wheels rolling on the ground changed. The crunching noise meant that they were now trundling along the gravel path outside. They had made it!

The coffboggan ground to an abrupt halt. The boy pushed the lid off. Immediately he noticed the once-brown coffin was now completely black with soot.

Jack leaped out, before helping his grandfather and finally Mrs Trifle up.

The front gates of Twilight Towers were still shut, so the boy ushered the elderly pair across the lawn in the direction of the overhanging willow tree. He helped the two old folk first, and then climbed up himself. Standing on the tree’s branch, Jack and his grandfather looked back at Twilight Towers for one last time. They had escaped not a moment too soon.

The entire building was being devoured by the fire. Flames shot out of the exploding windows, licking the outside walls. Even the roof was now ablaze.

Just before they turned to go Jack said, “Congratulations, sir. You did it!”

Grandpa looked down at his grandson. “No. WE did it!”

In the distance, Jack could see all the ‘nurses’ fleeing across the fields. As for Miss Swine, she was absolutely nowhere to be seen. Had she remained trapped in the burning building? Or had she somehow escaped too?

Something told Jack that he had not seen the last of her.