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I sat beneath a covered walkway in the garden behind the palace. The rain still pounded the ground just feet from where I sat. Clenching my jaw, I wiped my face on my shoulder. I wasn’t going to get upset over this. I’d be damned before I cried over something so pathetic. My eyes started to burn.
“Damn it!” I threw my hands down, causing fire to shoot out of them.
Leaning over my knees, I dug my fingers into my skull. Why was I so upset? Zoran was an egotistical, self-centered jerk. He didn’t care about me or anyone else. My shoulders rolled forward as my hands fell between my legs. I’d never understand any of this. There was no logical reason why I should be feeling this way. I peered out across the garden, feeling even more miserable.
I heard movement behind me, but before I could turn to look, my head was yanked back by my hair. Masou stood above me. He pressed a vial to my cheek and forced the tear collected in the corner of my eye to fall into it.
He put the cork on top and released me. “Clean yourself up. We don’t need a mortal seeing a creature of fire crying.”
I wiped my face roughly and glared at my feet. “I wasn’t.”
“Finny.” Iri sat down on the bench next to me. “Why are you so sad?” She put her arm around me and rested her head on my shoulder. “Is Zoran in one of his moods?”
I glanced at Masou, who stood a few feet from us staring blankly at the pond. “I’m not sad, just confused. I’m not gay, but Zoran...” I muttered. “He’s just an exception.”
Iri let out a huff and braced her arms behind her. She sunk into her shoulders. “Zoran is so boring,” she stated. “All Amber wants to talk about is Zoran, and Ashleen just nods along with her. This place is so dull.” She examined her nails. “Masou and I are going home in the morning, thankfully.” She sat up straight. “When are you and Zoran leaving?”
I shrugged. “Don’t know. I don’t really care to go back with him.”
“You’re being so sensitive, Finny. It’s not the first time Zoran’s slept with Amber.” She flashed me a smirk.
Masou cleared his throat.
Iri rolled her eyes and sucked in her cheek.
“They’ve done it before?”
“Well, yeah,” she said plainly. “Why do you think she’s so obsessed to him? You can’t become addicted to something if you’ve never even tried it.” She twirled her hand in the air.
“Iri,” stated Masou firmly.
She gave him a sideways glance. “If I didn’t have Masou, I’d be tempted myself.”
“Iri.” He faced us. “Enough.”
I glanced between the two. “Is this some big secret I’m not allowed to know?”
“It would embarrass Aedus,” said Masou. “The gods have a presence to uphold. If we can’t even control our shapeshifters, why would the people think we could do any better for them?” He looked to his firebird. “Say your goodbyes, Iri, and let’s be done with it.”
She draped herself over me again. “You made the festival bearable, Finny. Please don’t turn into an Ashleen over the next year. I couldn’t stand another dull week here with bossy Amber, dull Ashleen, and Aedus ordering me around like a slave. He made me go get you. Do you know how tiring it was to carry you out of the garden to Masou? You’re not exactly light.”
“I thought—?” I gave Masou a confused look.
“Second god of fire,” he said softly. “I don’t object when my brother speaks.”
Iri hooked my chin and brought my attention back to her. “Don’t let Zoran get the best of you. You’re far better than that,” she stated. “By next year, I’m expecting some improvement when it comes to flying, or I might just have to push you out of the tower again.” She kissed my cheek. “Bye, Fin.”
She stood and went to Masou. The two looped arms and walked toward the palace. Her. Masou had fallen in love with her. That would never make sense to me.
I peered up at the windows above. She was right. I couldn’t let that man get the best of me. I might be considered a “baby firebird,” but if I had to live with Zoran for the rest of eternity, I wasn’t going to tolerate this sneaking around behind each other’s backs. Rising to my feet, I took a deep breath and pushed my shoulders back. I could do this. We’d figure this out together, or at least try to define whatever kind of relationship we had.
Heading inside, I went back to the bedroom. The door was slightly ajar. I pushed on it and the door swung open. Amber was sitting on the arm of the chair Zoran was sunk down in. He glanced my way but didn’t make any indications of moving.
“Oh, Fin.” Amber flashed me a smile. “Did you run off again?”
“I went to the garden,” I muttered. “I needed space.”
“Hmmm... from who?” She rested her arm along the back of the chair and played with a piece of Zoran’s hair.
“Everyone,” I said sharply. I sat down on the bed and faced the window. “I need a break from everyone,” I whispered.
“What a depressing boy,” she sighed. Amber leaned in close to Zoran’s ear. “Let’s go to the banquet hall. We can get something to eat.”
Zoran shook his head and waved her off. “Go alone.”
“Zoran,” she whined. “Why don’t you come with me?”
His eyes flashed red. “It wasn’t a suggestion. Go alone.”
Amber pursed her lips and slid off the chair. Holding her head high, she marched from the room and slammed the door behind her. An awkward silence started to build. I glanced at Zoran, but he didn’t seem interesting in talking to me.
I turned forward and stared at the floor. “How many times have you slept with her?”
“That’s none of your concern.”
“It is,” I replied. “If I’m going to be forced to spend the rest of my life with you, I need to know why she’s so infatuated with you.”
“The same reason you are.”
“I’m not obsessed with you,” I said under my breath. “No sane person on this planet would ever be obsessed with someone like you.”
Zoran’s head snapped toward me. “Personality-wise, maybe not. Looks, most likely, but as a firebird, you’ll always seek the source. It’s a temptation you’ll never be able to overcome. You’ll always want it, and at times, you may even need it.”
“Aedus mentioned that.” I met his gaze. “You created the firebirds. Before, you made it sound like your brothers were mostly behind it.”
“They tried.” He rested his knuckles against his lips. “Aedus’ flame comes from the cosmos. It creates the sun and stars. An untamable force. Masou’s from the cavern of hell. Not suitable for human life. Mine,” he smiled to himself, “mine can be molded for human power. A soothing inferno that is forever trapped in the mortal realm.” He stood and stretched out his back. “I think I’m the one that needs to go for a walk now.” Zoran walked to the door and opened it.
“Wait!” I rose off the bed. “The firebirds, then?”
“They came from me, Fin. I’m the source of your fire just like the dragons. The only god’s flame that could transform a shapeshifter without killing it.” He stepped into the hall. “A firebird will always be drawn to the source.”
The door closed behind him. I ran my hands down my face. This was never going to work.